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21-month old bedtime routine

(22 Posts)
Twinklestar2 Fri 13-May-16 20:28:01

Can you please share yours?

FATEdestiny Fri 13-May-16 21:33:23

I've got a 20 month old.

Bedtime routine involves 7oz of toddler milk downstairs 7pm or sooner if she gets grumbly. Then a bath if needed (2 or 3 times a week).

7.30pm upstairs, brush teeth, wash hands/face, story with DS6, into cot, into sleeping bag, say nan night, light off, door shut.

elvislives2012 Fri 13-May-16 21:38:42

22 month old
Dinner at five, romp about for a bit. If it's bath day then bath at 6, bottle at 6.30 then bed

suspiciousofgoldfish Fri 13-May-16 21:43:58

6.15-6.30 pm bath/top and tail splash
Pjs on and into grow bag
Full bottle milk
Brush teeth
Story
Bedtime song ( too dorky to share)
Into cot with comfort blanket (best thing we ever bought for DS. Absolute gold dust).
7pm - evening free. Wine time or bed time, depending on whether pregnant or not.

Twinklestar2 Sun 15-May-16 21:31:10

Thanks for replies.

I currently have to pat baby to sleep and he likes to hold my hand to drop off. How do I move on from that to walking off and closing the door saying night night?

scandichick Sun 15-May-16 21:32:52

Gradual retreat? Start slowly scaling back until you're putting him down and leaving.

FATEdestiny Sun 15-May-16 21:58:59

As pp said, sounds like you need gradual withdrawal.

With the patting, pat for a few mins upon lying down then still your hand but keep it on him. Any time he starts to notice the lack of patting then pay again for a few mins until calm and still your hand again.

The key to GW is trust. He has to trust that you will always be there for him as much as he needs. But while that will be the case, you will always be constantly pushing for the next bit of independence.

So must trust that the instant he needs a pat, you will pat. But you keep on trying to still the hand until he trusts that a still hand is ok because if a pat is needed it will not be denied him.

Once a still hand is accepted you move to removing your hand. Keep same 'leaning over the cot' position as if your hand was there. Use the hand on chest/back to sooth whoever needed then remove your hand after a few mins. Hand back at any distress or request for a few mins then remove hand.

Again trust needed that the reassurance will be instant when needed, but that the slow withdrawal is consistent.

After a few days/weeks once this is accepted, start standing up with the hand removal. Then start putting him down, firm hand on chest for just 30secs if do then stand and wait until asleep.

When this is accepted start turning body away from cot. Then a step away, and so on.

If you take this gently and slowly there should be no upset or distress caused, but it is not a quick fix. It may take several months of slow, tiny changes.

Good luck!

Twinklestar2 Mon 16-May-16 16:04:33

Thanks for the answers so far.

I can currently get away with not patting him, as long as he can feel my hand on him or he can hold my hand then he’s ok to drift off. He likes to squeeze my hand or play with my wedding ring. I can tell him to stop and it’s sleepy time and he will stop. So I’m doing ok, I just need to get to the next step which is no hand holding/fiddling?

Also, he has milk before bed and now if he gets woken up he says 'milk milk'. He drinks that and falls back to sleep again no problem (after a bit of hand holding / patting / fiddling!). Have I created an association with milk and sleep? It's only just started recently...

Our routine is bath, cuddle with milk then bed. No songs, bedtime story etc. he brushes his teeth in the bath.

I would say he's a good sleeper, he wakes up for milk in the night about once a month and the patting to sleep routine only lasts around 20 mins, so I feel it could be a lot worse and maybe he's just being a normal child?

Help!

FATEdestiny Mon 16-May-16 18:19:19

Could you move milk to be before getting ready for bed? That might help break the association.

Waking for milk in the night at this age every now and again is not "bad" if you are happy with doing it. However I wouldn't say it's usual it normal at this age.

Sounds like milk for comfort rather than thirst or similar. Could you replace with water?

Twinklestar2 Mon 16-May-16 20:15:18

I could move the milk to before bath but then what if he wants it again before he goes to sleep? Do I give water?

CatsCantFlyFast Mon 16-May-16 20:19:31

To give another view and perhaps provide some balance, DD is 25 months. We do bath, playing, milk (if she wants it) then into bed (7:45ish). Story in bed and then I sit on a chair in her room until she's asleep. She wakes once in the night when she comes in to co sleep.

Twinklestar2 Tue 17-May-16 16:30:10

Hey Merkin I remember you!

CatsCantFlyFast Tue 17-May-16 19:41:09

Thought I recognised the name!

eurochick Tue 17-May-16 20:12:13

<waves>

We have a 21 month old. She decided to start self settling a few weeks ago. Our evening routine is like this:

6.30 we get in from work
We get changed out of work clothes, she gets a new nappy and a sleep suit (we only bath her twice a week due to eczema)
7ish milk in a cup and snack
Around 7.30 brush teeth and put in sleeping bag in living room
Milk in baby bottle (we want to stop this but can't seem to break the habit) and books
When she looks knackered we have a little routine of kissing her bears and her goodnight, then take her upstairs to her cot

She was a NIGHTMARE to get to bed until recently though.

Twinklestar2 Tue 17-May-16 22:19:00

Hey Euro! How you getting on?

Twinklestar2 Tue 17-May-16 22:19:15

How you doing Merkin?

CatsCantFlyFast Wed 18-May-16 05:53:28

I'm good thanks, pregnant with DD2. How about you?
And euro? Long time no speak

CatsCantFlyFast Wed 18-May-16 05:55:01

I'm good thanks, pregnant with DD2. How about you?
And euro? Long time no speak

eurochick Wed 18-May-16 06:46:05

Hi both. I'm doing ok thanks. Minieuro started sleeping through finally earlier this year, so I am slowly starting to feel human again. Hurrah for no 2 merk!

Twinklestar2 Mon 23-May-16 10:55:24

Sorry for late reply!

We are doing really well smile My son is running around and causing havoc – but wouldn't have it any other way! Congrats on baby number 2, when are you due?

CarrotPuff Mon 23-May-16 14:15:35

You can try telling him you need to do something and that you'll be back shortly and then leave the room for 5 mins. Come back if he's crying. He might surprise you and just fall asleep.

Twinklestar2 Mon 23-May-16 14:30:37

I used to be able to do this about 6 months ago carrotpuff

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