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Totally fed up of 4 month sleep regression. Thoughts on CIO and moving to own room please

(65 Posts)
MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:00:51

I've posted a few times recently about how my baby who used to sleep through 10 hours straight had stopped and was waking every few hours.
Everything I've read sounds just like 4m sleep regression although it started at 12 weeks (he's now 17 weeks).
He is ebf and sleeps in co-sleeping crib.
I can't take much more of these bad nights and they're getting worse. He is a nightmare for day naps... has 1 or 2 but only in my arms and probably for 45 min tops.
I'm fully aware this is probably contributing to his poor night time sleeping.

He goes to bed between 7.30-8pm. Bath, book, music and feed to sleep. Put him down.
Wakes within the hour.
DH goes up and rocks to sleep.
Wakes around 11.
I feed him to sleep.
Wakes around 1.30. Fed again.
Wakes around 3. Fed again.
Wakes around 4. Fed again.
Wakes around 5.30. Move him to our bed and feed again.
7.30 Wakes up for the day

I know he can't hungry all those times and feeding him is ridiculous but he'll suckle for 5 min or less and be asleep. The only time he'll go back to sleep without is first wake up of the night. DH gets up and tries rocking to sleep on other wakings despite having work in the mornings but this just results in an hour of none stop screaming

I can't go on like this. He needs sleep training. He's not having a growth spurt and he's not teething. He's just a really shit sleeper

Has anyone had success with CIO and also would you recommend moving to his own room for that? I've tried all other methods and nothing is working it's a joke.

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:01:55

This is the method I'm thinking of using (posted a few comments down). Hope this link is allowed

JonSnowsBeardClippings Mon 09-May-16 07:02:15

Cry it out? Leaving a 4 month old baby to cry them self to sleep? Just don't.

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:02:52

And this is the link that sums my baby up perfectly

NeedACleverNN Mon 09-May-16 07:04:32


If he just wants to suck.

Don't let a 4 month old cry it out. They don't understand yet. It would be awful for them

KP86 Mon 09-May-16 07:07:24

Google Masada technique. It's gentle sleep training. This is the same age I took my son to residential sleep school (in Aus) and it made a huge difference. He was the same, no day sleeps unless held and had to be attached to me overnight. He turned into a magic sleeper. Changed our lives.

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:08:22

He won't take a dummy, never has. Last week we really tried to preserve with it but it ends up really upsetting him

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:09:02

Thanks KP will look now

Fueledwithfairydustandgin Mon 09-May-16 07:17:47

Can't you just give him what he needs even if it's a bit of comfort from you? He's 4 months old!

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 07:31:48

I do give him comfort! I give him comfort all day and night. I give him cuddles constantly. He naps in my arms. He is fucking tired and so am I - I'm after help and advice not patronising comments!

NeedACleverNN Mon 09-May-16 07:41:12

Not exactly helpful there fueled

She sounds knackered.

They do grow out of it but I know that's not happening right now. Ds was terrible for it. He was up every 90mins for up to 30mins a time screaming.. That was for 7 months! Then he got diagnosed with cmpa so that helped.

They do reccomend that they stay in your room until they are 6 months but some babies sleep really light and usually do better in their own room. Worth a try I suppose

TooMinty Mon 09-May-16 07:56:37

I'd try breaking the feed to sleep association and maybe make bedtime a bit earlier, say 7pm. How I did it with DS1 was: bath, pjs, story, feed to sleep
Then: bath, pjs, story, feed 10 minutes on one side, sit up to burp and rouse, feed 10 minutes on other side, sit up to burp and rouse, put down to sleep
Then: bath, pjs, feed as above, story, put down to sleep.

With DS2 I just swapped the order quite early on so fed at 6:30pm in front of TV downstairs with his big brother, pjs, story, into cot (did pick up/put down/cuddling if he was too unsettled).

Hope this helps!

JonSnowsBeardClippings Mon 09-May-16 07:59:11

Right, but this is part of raising a baby. I'm not saying 'suck it up' but I am saying don't leave the baby to cry in his own room. However tired you are, that's wrong.

YokoUhOh Mon 09-May-16 08:03:28

Mine did this until he was 2.5 years old! I used the Jay Gordon method (Google it) but it's not recommended until 12 months.

Hawkmoth Mon 09-May-16 08:05:31

Do you breastfeed lying down? Then you don't wake up fully and can doze while baby feeds.

My baby isn't as old as yours, nine weeks, god help us if he regresses from where he is now. He naps best in a sling during the daytime and then at least I can use my hands and walk round. If I'm lucky I get almost two hours rather than half an hour in my knee.

UmbongoUnchained Mon 09-May-16 08:08:34

He 4 months old. I'm sorry, it's hard but it's called being a parent. You can't leave a 4 month old to cry it out. That feeding routine sounds pretty normal for a small baby who might be having a growth spurt.

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 08:10:13

Jonsnow - The CIO link I've posted though involves letting them cry for an few mins and seeing if they settle, then go on and settle and start again. I know nothing about sleep training, I don't know if this is bad or good? Like you say it's part of having a baby but also so is crying. Baby's cry. I never ever let him cry and it's not working...

Needaclevernn - thanks for sharing, what is cmpa? Yeah I really want him to stay in till 6 months but he's such a light sleeper, he has a ceiling fan in his room which is great but we don't In ours so we're opening the windows and every noise outside seems to wake him.

Toominty - that sounds like a really good way of tweaking the routine. How long did it take? We are going on holiday next week band I'm absolutely dreading it. Feel like I can't change anything before then.

BendydickCuminsnatch Mon 09-May-16 08:10:24

At 4 months old DS was a total cot refuser, in our bed, a very light sleeper,and for various reasons we put him in his cot in his own room one night, just made the total switch from co-sleeping to own room. He was on formula by then so we were getting up in the night anyway, that's different to you, I know.
But we had great success with Pick Up Put Down at that age, it seems total madness and futile for a couple of days, how can this possibly work, but it did and DS was falling asleep in his cot by himself for naps and night time within a couple of weeks.
Just another vote for that technique. You'll find something that will work OP, hang in there! flowers

BendydickCuminsnatch Mon 09-May-16 08:12:02

Also yes I wasn't averse to leaving him whinging for a few minutes, then going in and reassuring. Babies need to be taught to fall asleep by themselves and they won't if you never give them the opportunity to (not a dig at you OP!).

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 08:13:28

Hawkmoth yes bf lying down then transfer back to snuzpod. Until 12 weeks he was sleeping 8pm - 6pm, having a feed then going back to sleep till 8/9am. At 12 weeks this changed I thought it was a growth spurt as he started waking up at 3am.
Then he started waking at 1, and an hour after bed so on. Every week I think it'll get better but it doesn't.

JonSnowsBeardClippings Mon 09-May-16 08:15:08

Cry it out is letting them cry until they stop. You're talking about controlled crying I think.

MYA2016 Mon 09-May-16 08:16:28

Bendy that's what I think too! I am not a cruel person at all and love ds with all my heart. I've never been apart from him For longer than 1 hour since he was born but I'm exhausted and upset. I'm trying my best and obviously giving him everything and picking him up at the sign of a cry and letting him co sleep etc isn't working. I will try anything and it will break my heart hearing him upset bit surely it's better now than when he's 1 to start changing habits?

Jemimapuddleduk Mon 09-May-16 08:24:19

Op I feel your pain, my ds was a terrible sleeper and I ended up so exhausted I ended up with pnd and unable to sleep once he did go back to sleep. 4 months was a particularly bad time sleep wise! Ds had silent reflux- has that been ruled out? Things that helped for us- dummy, a bottle at 11pm, lots of sensory things in his cot as sleep associations (Ewan dream sheep and star projector), swaddling (we got some sleeping bag things from jojo which hold their arms in and are safer for older babies). Also starting on solids really improved ds's sleep as did moving to formula. I was really shocked to have a terrible sleeper after exclusively bf'ing dd to 15 months and she slept brilliantly.

NeedACleverNN Mon 09-May-16 08:26:53

Cmpa is cows milk protien allergy.

But it affected him in day time aswell as night time

babyconverse Mon 09-May-16 08:28:07

I think it's helpful to make a distinction between crying and whining - my ds often woke in the night for a whine but could be settled back to sleep by stroking tummy etc - OP I'm sure you've tried that so not suggesting that alone would help. I focused on hetti him to fall asleep on his own for daytime naps - rather than working on nights. It's easier on you as you have the energy to keep going back and resettling frequently. I spoke to the health visitor at the children's centre about it. Better nights followed better day sleeps. If you can clear your diary and really focus on that. I was still having him nap in the same room as me during the day but the health visitor clearly thought that was unnecessary. I just wasn't comfortable yet having him sleep in another room. We got there from focusing on having resettle himself for daytime naps past the first sleep cycle. He's six months now and I got up once last night to resettle (dummy in his case) - no eye contact, quick stroke of the forehead. He was back asleep before me.

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