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Room sharing and debunking the self settling thing

(10 Posts)
minniebear Mon 25-Apr-16 07:03:48

Hey all, need a hand to hold. We have two bedrooms. 6 month DD2 has never been a great sleeper, she still sometimes feeds in the night, some times just wakes up to shout at us. We were waiting to put her in with DD1 (a better sleeper) until she got rid of her current cold or slept more consistently, but eventually realised she always has a cold and there'll never be a good time if we wait. She's teething at the moment too.

The interesting thing about DD2 is that she self settles and always has done, for naps and bed. You put her down in the cot awake without a dummy and she plays and talks to herself until she's asleep (takes about 5 minutes), she'll also go to sleep on the playmat if she's tired-this isn't thanks to anything we've ever done, she's never been left to cry etc-we just noticed it was something she would do. DD1 was the opposite-needed loads of help to get to sleep but once she was out she was down for the night, and slept 7-7 by 12 weeks.

So last night. My God. We put them down in the same room (blackouts/white noise/Sleepyheads which they've both had since birth) and they went to sleep. DD1 is still asleep now (6:50) and DD2 woke at midnight (feed) and four (dummy) and then up for the day at 5:10 (pretty standard wake up for her-she did a massive poo and that was that).

So safe to say, sharing hasn't improved or worsened DD2's sleep, but it has meant that I've got nowhere to put her when she's up-when she woke up in our room I could change the nappy then leave her to play and kick in her cot while I dozed in bed, but I don't want to leave her in with DD1 because I don't want both of them up for the day at 5. I could put a travel cot in our room, and pick the whole Sleepyhead up and bring it in when she gets up maybe?

I'm so fecking tired, so despondent, and I really really got frustrated with her in the night. Looking back I feel like an idiot, but I felt really panicky and stressed when she wouldn't sleep and I had nowhere to put her. DD1 just slept through and was fine, but I raced in there when DD2 woke up to avoid her being too disturbed.

Does anyone have any advice? What can I do differently?

GingerAndTheBiscuits Mon 25-Apr-16 07:25:59

It's only the first night! Two wakes/one feed isn't too bad at 6 months and as DD2 gets bigger she'll be able to find her own dummy more easily. Give it a week and then consider some changes

minniebear Mon 25-Apr-16 07:29:45

Thank you sad

Laquila Mon 25-Apr-16 07:36:40

Sounds like a pretty good result to me! You might be surprised how quickly they both get used to it. I think really you'll hav to leave DD2 to it in order to find out whether she wakes DD1 or not - as Ginger says, you can then think about what changes you might need to make after that. Good luck though! We're thinking about putting our 2-month old in with his 2.5yr old brother, once he gets older, but I don't know whether rot out him straight in at 6 months or maybe put him in his own room for 6 months/a year, to hopefully improve his sleeping (hah!)

MooningIntoTheAbyss Mon 25-Apr-16 07:40:35

Admiring your bravery. And wishing I had at least tried this with my 2.
They have never shared a room as I haven't found the will power to train DS.... Who is now 20 months and I swear that child would get back in the womb if it were possible he is so attached to me sad
Give it a few more nights

poocatcherchampion Mon 25-Apr-16 07:47:29

We did it with our two at this age. Not sure hat myth you are trying to debunk or what you are trying to prove.

We just did it because that was where dd2 was going to sleep and she was keeping me awake.

When she woke up we used to bring her back into our room - we kept a cot in there but it was more often our bed.

It improved over time.

They also got used to each other and don't get bothered by the other chucking up etc.

The first one awake tends to wake the other though.

Oh they share by (our) choice. We do have enough rooms

minniebear Mon 25-Apr-16 08:20:47

Thank you! I feel like I'm being very dramatic! Thank you for the encouragement. I might try leaving her to it-I've put the nursing chair in there for tonight so I have somewhere to sit.

poocatcher I was referring to the whole idea of self settlers being better at sleeping through the night. DD2 self settles but doesn't sleep through, DD1 needed feeding/rocking/cuddling/dummy to go off but then stays asleep!

GingerAndTheBiscuits Mon 25-Apr-16 13:05:25

My DD2 has always settled herself to sleep and slept through (properly; none of this 5 hours nonsense!) at 10 months.

minniebear Mon 25-Apr-16 13:59:48

That's encouraging! Thank you! At least it's not just my DD and they do sleep through eventually!

Artandco Mon 25-Apr-16 14:05:12

I would just bring her into your bed or let her play on rug on floor of your room once she is awake on morning

However personally I would just leave her in your room. Saves getting fully up two/ three times a night as already near you. Move in 6 months time once she isn't waking more than once regularly

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