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what do I do???

(19 Posts)
mrsmoomoopoopoo Sat 23-Apr-16 19:08:59

Trying to teach 6 months old dd to go to sleep on her own.
Tried leaving her in cot and going in to settle her every 5/7/9/11 minutes but she ended up crying hysterically even when I went in to calm her.
DH had just tried sitting next to cot singing to her, holding her hand but it didn't work. She cried for 1hr 20mins and in the end he picked her up.

I know I have to persist and keep going but it's too hard to hear her cry.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

Thanks sad

BisherBasherBosher Sat 23-Apr-16 19:31:24

How did you get her to sleep before? At that age my DD needed cuddling to sleep. She started self settling at 8 months. I didn't teach her, she just did it herself when she was ready. Maybe it's too soon for her.

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sat 23-Apr-16 20:02:44

I feed or rock her to sleep Bisher.
I wondered if she was too young but then some people say you have to teach them so thought I should start now before she's too old and then it's harder to do.

JuxtapositionRecords Sat 23-Apr-16 20:04:02

If it's working then don't worry just do what she needs! She will get there eventually.

JuxtapositionRecords Sat 23-Apr-16 20:04:23

Sorry I meant if rocking etc is working not the controlled crying

Zaurak Sat 23-Apr-16 20:12:50

Mines 6.5 and has gone from being ok put in the cot awake, then falling asleep just fine, to screaming the place down as soon as he is put in it.
I think he's got some separation anxiety going on so leaving him isn't helping (we tried, it was horrendous.)

So for now I'm cuddling him to sleep. I'll reassess again in a few weeks but for now I'm just going with whatever's least traumatic

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sat 23-Apr-16 20:21:26

Thanks Juxta.
Zaurak - 4 weeks ago she was going down in her crib fine and sleeping through til 6am! I had to put her in her crib asleep but she happily went down. Now she wakes as soon as I put her down and won't go back to sleep so she's currently in our bed!!

BisherBasherBosher Sat 23-Apr-16 20:52:58

Do you have the Wonder Weeks App? Is she in a leap? If you don't have the app get it and you'll see what I mean. Babies go through predictible periods of change in their mental development and it means they can be a bit difficult during that time.

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sat 23-Apr-16 21:00:28

Yes Bisher i have the app and this unsettled phase started within a week of the leap starting so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that's it's just the leap that making her so disruptive.
The leaps starts at 22 weeks and ends at 27 weeks. Dd is 26 weeks so hopefully she will come round in next week or 2

MingZillas Sun 24-Apr-16 10:59:59

Cuddle her to sleep. My dd is nearly 22 months old and still needs it.

Please don't leave your baby to cry for you, they grow up too fast and she won't need you as much soon.

It's hard for hear because biologically we are not meant to leave our babies to cry.

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sun 24-Apr-16 16:50:20

I love cuddling her to sleep. It's putting her down that's the problem. I cuddle her til she's fast asleep but she instantly wakes as soon as I lay her down.

confusedandemployed Sun 24-Apr-16 16:55:53

Can you introduce some other sleep cues, w.g. dummy or comfort blanket / special soft toy? Go back to soothing her to sleep but introduce some other sleep cues so when you're ready to try again she won't need you exclusively. My DD is 3.2yo, had a dummy and taggie only for bed and still has them (although working hard to remove dummy). As long as she has them she will go to sleep fine, and always has.

MingZillas Sun 24-Apr-16 18:16:45

I do understand, honestly. When my dd was really tiny I had to go up to bed with her at 7pm and we co-slept as she just wouldn't sleep without me. It was soul destroying.

I'm not suggesting you do that, it's just what worked for me at the time and I NEVER thought I'd have my evenings back.

Last night she bf for a bit then turned away and went to sleep. They do change so quickly and it will get better I promise.

Babies are programmed to be near their mum as from an evolutionary perspective, if they weren't they would get eaten!

I always have to wait 10-15 mins before dd is in a deep sleep before I can leave her and I know now all her teeth are through that she will have been in pain at night with them.

You're not doing anything wrong, just give her what she needs flowers

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sun 24-Apr-16 18:56:56

Thanks Ming.
I'm the same, I have to come to bed when dd does at 7. It takes about an hour to get her to lay down next to me so by the time I've got her to sleep I think I may as well stay in bed! It is frustrating as I don't have an evening to myself but I know it will pass.
Going to try and get her to sleep in her crib next to me tonight.
Wish me luck!!

MingZillas Sun 24-Apr-16 20:03:05

I remember it so well! You think you're never going to have a life again.

MingZillas Sun 24-Apr-16 20:07:02

Whoops posted too soon!

But like you said, it will pass.

They're all so different as well. Sime of them need the comfort and others need their own space. Mine sometimes slept with my boob in her mouth all night and they'd be so sore.

Good luck for tonight. Remember it will get better and this phase will pass smile

mrsmoomoopoopoo Sun 24-Apr-16 20:13:54

Thanks again Ming!
Would not go in her crib!! Woke as soon as I put her down and looked really shocked that she was in her crib and not in my bed. She's now laid next to me fast asleep. Little bugger smile

mineofuselessinformation Sun 24-Apr-16 20:25:27

Is it the temperature change that she's feeling? If so you could try cuddling her in a blanket so she still feels warm when put down.

MingZillas Sun 24-Apr-16 22:22:20

Oh no! Little bugger indeed, I've said that about my dd lots of times.

Hope you both managed to get settled. Just keep going, you're doing a good job and this is the hardest one in the world.

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