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Impossible Nap Situation

(14 Posts)
Rjbreen12 Sun 17-Apr-16 15:51:22

Hi there, this is the first time I have used this forum and I'm really hoping someone can help. I'm a first time Mum to a beautiful 11 week old boy. The problem we have is that we seem to have a Jekyll and Hyde baby. We put him to sleep at 8pm after a 4oz feed and a fight, he then gets a dream feed at 10pm and wakes around 2.30am and 5.30am. I swaddle him at bedtime and he's an angel all night. Drains his bottles no problem and goes straight back to sleep in his next to me crib. The problem we are having arises once he is up at 7am. All throughout the day he picks at his bottles, never finishing a feed like his does at night. He just has his milk in drips and drabs (he is bottle fed). The second issue we have is the one that is really getting us down. He WILL NOT take a nap without a battle. Once we can see he's getting tired all hell breaks loose. He will cry and scream resisting sleep while we walk around the house with him, until he drops off. The only thing that soothes him is white noise. The idea of him dropping off to sleep on his own in his moses basket/crib seems like an impossibility. We have tried putting him down before he gets tired, when he gets tired and once he has fallen to sleep. The second he's down he is wide awake and starts kicking off. We have found it easier to just keep holding him while he naps otherwise he wont sleep at all and you can imagine the mood he is then in all day. Even my mother who has had 2 children, been a childminder and looked after grandchildren has admitted she's never known a baby fight naps as much as he does. Please someone HELP

lovemakespeace Sun 17-Apr-16 16:16:15

Do you swaddle and use white noise for his naps? Possibly a dummy would help too?

lovemakespeace Sun 17-Apr-16 16:18:52

PS that said my son was like this and he outgrew it about 12 weeks. He then only did 45 min naps but took them OK on his own (with help to nod off). Took him 10 months to nap well but he was a champion after that - still quite often has a nap now (4 in July)

Rjbreen12 Sun 17-Apr-16 17:30:16

I dont swaddle him for naps as some people say not to swaddle for more than 10 hours a day, although I might give it ago and see what happens. I have to use white noise otherwise he'd never go off. As for dummies, he just spits them out. Nice to hear someone has been in the same situation and that's there's light at the end of the tunnel. Typically all my friends babies nap perfectly

Cel982 Sun 17-Apr-16 17:34:09

If he's used to being swaddled at night, he may find it hard to nap without it. Would you try a stretchy sling? He'll feel secure in there, will be close to you but you'll have your hands free.

Nottalotta Sun 17-Apr-16 17:41:47

Hes still tiny. My ds is nearly 9 months and just started napping alone, but only after feeding to sleep.

I can't remember exactly but think you should be trying for a nap after an hour awake at that age, sure someone more knowledgeable will correct me.

Rjbreen12 Sun 17-Apr-16 17:44:16

Will definitely give swaddling in the day a go. I do sling him and he will sleep for hours this way but I was just worried this will make it even worse getting him to nap on his own in the long run?

Rjbreen12 Sun 17-Apr-16 18:26:14

He does start showing signs of becoming tired after an hour. Maybe I'm just expecting too much too soon but it's just awful seeing the state he gets himself into every nap time sad

nc060 Sun 17-Apr-16 18:31:48

Is be willing to bet your friends babies don't nap perfectly even if they tell you they do. One of my now best friends used to tell me that her baby napped really well and was generally a really easy baby. A tear down the line and much further into our friendship I realise it was all a facade! In fact she was really difficult baby! Made me feel awful at the iMessage as my boy was rubbish at sleeping without being held. There seems to be so much pressure on mums to have perfect babies and perfect routines but every baby is different. Please don't feel alone or compare your baby to those of your friends as you never know what they are like at home. Good luck with it xxxx

Rjbreen12 Sun 17-Apr-16 20:21:27

Thank you everyone, feeling much better to know I'm not alone. I will definitely try to take what others say with a pinch of salt. Fingers crossed things improve xx

TrainBridge Sun 17-Apr-16 20:27:32

Both of mine only slept happily in the sling or held (or, sometimes, the baby rocking swing thing) at that age. It's very normal, and doesn't mean they will never sleep in their cot.

I kept trying (maybe once a week) putting the tired baby in the cot, going to the loo and coming back. One day I came back and there was silence, and that was the start of cot napping! Worked for both of them, but I think only because I didn't push it. If they weren't happy in the cot I picked them up and cuddled / fed them to sleep.

Oh, and I also signalled nap time with nappy change, darkened room, sleeping bag etc, so they got the idea of what was going to happen next.

Coconut0il Sun 17-Apr-16 21:12:02

DS2 is nearly 8 months and has had all his daytime naps on my lap. I really like the easy life and I know if I feed him to sleep and keep him on my lap that is the way he will sleep the most. DS1 was the same and eventually he grew out of it. I just enjoy the cuddles. Maternity leave is going so quick and I won't get these quiet times with him anymore so just making the most of it.

Nottalotta Sun 17-Apr-16 21:21:16

I go back to work on Wednesday and will.def miss the cuddles.

Op - you are at the hard stage. I worried so much I was getting it wrong. People at baby groups telling me they were dropping the night feeds at three months, baby sleeping through blah blah bullshit etc. They also told met leave ds to cry at three months.

He's nearly 9 months now and things ARE getting better and I actually feel a little sad that he doesn't need me so much.

Coconut0il Sun 17-Apr-16 21:47:19

Think our DS are very similar Notta. I see we give the same advice on a lot of threads grin Good luck with work.
In rl everyone seems to have a baby that goes 3/4 hours between feeds and sleeps from 7 -7. Don't listen to them, even if their baby does do that it doesn't mean anything, your baby is just different. Do what's best for you and your DS.

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