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5 month old not falling asleep -lone parent

(8 Posts)
sophiaslullaby Sat 16-Apr-16 19:25:44

My subject title is deceptive, I'm not a lone parent, I've a DH, but he leaes all parenting decisions up to me - double edged sword as in the difficult times it's like asking a brick wall what to do!
My 5 month old normally goes down to bed at 6.30 / 7pm really well. TOday though has been a shitty day to say the least. To start with my DS woke at 8am (an hour late) after a restless night (I should've woken him but I was out like a light too!) and so then all day his bodyclock was out of sync.

I put him to bed at 6.30 and he's spent the last (what are we, 7.20pm) 50mins howling his head off. I went in twice - first to reassure, 2nd time to give calpol as sure he's teething so thought that couldn't harm. And then breastfed.
At the boob he'll calm down, put him in the cot and 5mins later he's wailing down. What is wrong?? And what do I do? (Have a drink? - nerves are shot!)

LIke I say, asking MN as DH doesn't have a clue/opinion. My own mother thinks he should be sleeping through by now to which I disagree, he's EBF and mother-in-law doesn't have much of a idea either. I'm usually strong enough and ok but wow, a wailing baby can really bring you to your knees!! sad

CityDweller Sat 16-Apr-16 19:36:19

It's probably just a blip. Take a breath then go in and do what you need to do to comfort him and help him sleep. He's still tiny. Ignore people who say he 'should' be sleeping through. Once he's calm and sleeping have a glass of wine

For another day/post give your DH a kick up the arse. Why's he not engaging with this? That's not fair on you.

thenewaveragebear1983 Sat 16-Apr-16 19:37:02

I don't necessarily 'believe' in sleep regression, but I have noticed with all my three DC that somewhere around 4/5/6 months their sleep can go a bit bonkers. My youngest ds has done it recently at 6 months, has just started playing silly devils at naptime so has 3-4 naps a day of 30-40 minutes rather than having a long decent sleep. Then he is overtired at bedtime and can't settle. My advice would be stick with what you want to happen, even if it doesn't work, because eventually he'll come out of the crazy sleep phase. So stick with your bedtime routine, your feeding etc exactly as you want, don't change habits such as start taking him driving in the car etc, and wait for it to pass. At this age they are learning and growing so much and they call out for mummy more because it unsettles them. I know that's not much help right now. And I don't think they will necessarily sleep through at 5mo, some might but mine never have. My ds (6.5 mo) wakes at 3.30 every night, sometimes for milk and sometimes just for a cuddle.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sat 16-Apr-16 19:38:52

If he got up an hour later; then surely he needs to be going to bed an hour later?

sophiaslullaby Sat 16-Apr-16 20:18:15

Ahh, see this is why I love Mumsnet! All your replies are comforting.
CityDweller - I think it's a blip too, he's normally fine at bedtime, grizzles for 10mins or so but he's not been right all day. And my DH - hmm, I knew i'd get a comment about him. He's NOT the sit on his bum type of person (he'd been out in the workshop so when I told him about the crying, he did say I should have come and got him - but what would he have done.....starting to think I'm not LETTING anyone else help me...) So he will help in his way but when it comes to deciding how to do things he lets me take control as thinks I have all the answers....I don't, I wing-it, rest of the answers fit into a wine glass grin and so far, so good, he's a great baby normally.

thenewaveragebear - Exactly the same. DS used to have an awesome 2hr morning nap, thought i'd won the lottery with him. Now it's two or three 40min naps. Thanks for the pick up talk though - I am trying to do just what my own instinct tells me but it's so easy to be swayed by others who have 'been there, done that', especially when it's your Mum.

Iguessyourestuckwithme - yeah, I thought that too after I'd put him down! And would have put him to bed hour later if his whole day had gone as normal. But it hasn't. He had 1hr sleep this morning then 20mins at 2pm.

winecheers to you all

thenewaveragebear1983 Sat 16-Apr-16 20:36:39

Is this your only/first baby op? I've 'been there, done that' with my own children and I'm still none the wiser with dc3! So, while your family's advice is probably well meaning, its not exactly going to be helpful.....all babies are different, even one baby at one age can be so different 3 months later. One tip I do have is when its 'morning' (at whatever time) get the curtains open, and make a wake up routine as well as a bed time routine, look out of the windows with your baby and talk about what's outside. I find this really helps to get them up and awake and helps set the body clock. I find if we get the mornings right, the rest of the day seems to run more smoothly. Good luck, hope he has settled now for you

newmumwithquestions Sat 16-Apr-16 20:58:34

Agree stick with whatever you're doing. I tend to think one day/night going a bit haywire it could be anything and I tend to just go with it if they want extra feed or comfort. If it gets to 72 hours and I can't work out why then I do what I can to stop something becoming a pattern. With both of mine I've noticed definite growth spurts, 24 hours of just wanting to be in the boob constantly, followed by a long sleep - it could be that, alternatively I usually find if they are coming down with a cold they often get very grumbly before there are any outward symptoms.
Why do you think you should have woken your DS at 7? Maybe he just needed a bit more sleep or slept badly during the night for some reason!

Ps it's impossible to follow all advice given as most of it conflicts, do what works for you and if you get to a stage that it's not working then change it.

sophiaslullaby Sat 16-Apr-16 21:27:41

Yes, in the morning I (try!) to act all bright and chatty, open curtains - he does like looking out the window so might do that a bit more then, wake him up as well as myself.
DS is my first but I have 2 much younger sisters (15 years younger) so was naively under the impression I knew how to handle a baby - physically yes, mentally not so much when it's your own!
He's settled now and of course watching him like a hawk but deep down know he just got over tired & fraught.

I like that tip - stick with routine unless it carries on for over 72hrs. I am always worried about creating a 'bad habit' but need to relax, like at night - it's ok for him to just want me and a cuddle right?
Reason for waking at 7? Every time he's woken later he's had a rough day with not napping well, not sure why. 7pm is when husband gets up for work in the week so easy for us all to get up and have breakfast together.

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