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This cannot go on, suggestions?

(10 Posts)
1northernfairy Thu 14-Apr-16 08:58:52

Hi all,

Thanks for taking a look. I'm feeling completely desperate now.

I have a 5 month old DD who is such a fiery lady! From birth I have been very much baby led in every way- bed sharing (not the original plan), bf on demand, sleep when sleep cues but it is not working. Sleep was always crap but has this last month has gone properly tits up (sorry!). DD only sleeps in pram/on boob/in bouncer (although this last option is working less and less). The list of things that she will not tolerate is endless... dummy, sling, comforter, cot, swing...

Yesterday went like this, with me really trying hard to achieve 3x decent naps:
6.00am stirring, feed in bed
7.00am get up
9.00-9.30am asleep (pram)
9.50-10.30am back to sleep in pram
12.30-1.15pm asleep (pram)
3.20-4pm asleep (pram)

Night (after bath routine):
6.35-7.20pm asleep in bouncy chair being bounced with white noise
7.20-9pm crying and grumpy, fighting sleep
9pm went to bed with me, slept after 30 minutes on/off blob
Wake up countless times in the night, worse being 2-3am every 20mins
Up at 6.00 this morning

Total day sleep =2hrs 15mins
Total night sleep=9hr 15mins very unsettled fidgety sighing sleep and at least. 10 bf's

DD has no way of comforting herself at all, relies completely on my boob (cuddles don't work either) and she fights sleep, is a ridiculously light sleeper and can't be transferred once asleep. She has never slept in a cot, screams hysterically. She squirms all night and screams if no boob within about 3mins of wriggling.

I feel like CC or CIO is gonna be the only option but not sure I can stand it, especially as she cries a lot of the time anyway. It feels like we've tried everything else. I am sure she is tired but just cannot switch off or stay asleep.

Any help welcome! I feel like I just want to run away from it all now!

Sorry its a long post!

Sandsnake Thu 14-Apr-16 09:27:44

That sounds tough, wine for you even it is 9.15 in the morning.

I'm afraid I have no real words of wisdom - DS is also five months and is a bit of a sleep fighter. I just wanted to suggest that it sounds that possibly your DD is being bothered by something? DS has silent reflux and when it is bad he acts quite like you've described your DD - writhing and unsettled because he is in pain and breast feeding all the time as it helps it, as well as needing constant movement to sleep. Is it possible that DD could also have reflux? It might not be this at all but I wanted to mention it just in case.

1northernfairy Thu 14-Apr-16 10:24:45

I'll gladly accept the 9.15am glass of vino. PM'd you to ask some questions! Hope that's okay?

mopants Thu 14-Apr-16 10:40:35

Sounds so much like my son when he was a baby. He had silent reflux and turned out to be intolerant to dairy. He was an absolute nightmare for feeding and sleeping. Always had to be held, was always hungry but would scream when I tried to feed him. Ended up with complete breast refusal so had to stop bf him at 6 months, all my others went well over a year. Try infant gaviscon, and maybe try cutting down on dairy in your diet. Could the recent change be a growth spurt? Is it maybe time to think about starting some food? (Please don't shoot me for suggesting it before 6 months, the recommendations were different when most of mine were tiny)

JC23 Thu 14-Apr-16 10:53:10

Hi I also have a five month old. His sleep hasn't been so much of a problem, however I found this article was a lifesaver, especially the calming the baby regime. When I was trying to get DS to sleep in the cot (instead of the sling/pram/bouncer) this is the technique I used. It took a few days but now he has all his naps in the cot.

In a phrase we have to “Bore Him to Sleep”.
•Send his grandparents home. If you have a toddler, send him with them.
•Stick a note on the front door saying that you are out. .
•Go into his room, draw the blinds and make the light in the room dim. Put on some quiet, restful music; that’s for you, but babies do like a background of ‘family sounds’ rather than silence.
•Get the baby and take him into the room with you. Do NOT leave him on his own. He has no ‘off’ switch!
•Feed him on demand in the dim light, avoiding long periods of eye contact with him (Do not however do as one mother did, who said to me “I did as you said, Doctor, I haven’t looked at him all week…). Common sense here.
•Put him on your chest with his ear against your heartbeat and cuddle him until he settles. This reminds him of the sounds and feel of the womb. It may take some time. Be patient. Calm him.
•Then, wrap him firmly in a sheet. Wrap him with his back rounded and his limbs contained – this will also remind him of the containment of the womb and help him feel secure. He may want to have his arms free, but it is preferable to contain them.
•Place him in his cot. Pat him gently on the bottom at about 70 pats to the minute (mother’s heart rate) and just …

•If it helps, give him a dummy.
•If he gets upset (and he will), rewrap him and continue cuddling, patting or feeding. If you’re both going crazy, pick him up get someone else to cuddle him, and you take a break. Then put him in the cot again and pat him again.
•Continue this (hour after hour) until he settles. Do not leave the baby to cry, but you can leave the room when he finally sleeps.
•Generally the first 24 hours can be hell on wheels, but if you persevere, things will improve. He will eventually start to, as the psychologists say, ‘return to base’.
•By the second day he will be calmer. Do not take him out of the room, even though he appears improved. Give it another day, to be sure he loses some of his fatigue and stress.
•The more he sleeps, the less opportunity there is for him to be stimulated, and the more he will sleep. This is a good cycle, not a vicious one. When he’s calm and sleepy, you can return him to the living room.
•You then need to keep the activity and stimulation in his environment down to a level that he can handle.

1northernfairy Thu 14-Apr-16 10:54:13

She does have silent reflux (quite severely) and is on omeprazole which was a battle to get prescribed. We don't have an appointment to review medication for another 3 months, they say there isn't a clinic sooner and our GP's won't touch her prescriptions. I expect the omeprazole is still working as she screams less but doesn't help over night when she lies flat in bed with me (can't transfer her into raised cot as she wakes, can't bf her in raised head end cot).
She is also teething and developing (rolling). I tried dairy free briefly.

There is so many things that could be contributing and I'm not sure I'll pin down what it is. I just feel like crying! Everything is so trial and error and speculating what it could be and trying something different and ultimately still getting bugged all sleep with a very unhappy baby :-(

Sandsnake Thu 14-Apr-16 14:04:57

Hello! Replied to your DM (sorry it took a while, DS is having a bit of a 'don't put me down' day, to reply typed amid multiple renditions of The Grand Old Duke of York...).

dinodiva Thu 14-Apr-16 16:16:37

My DD (nearly 7 months) was a right co sleeping PITA too, although she had been in her cot on and off. I did some sleep training (Kim West - good night sleep tight) and coinciding with learning to roll it has made all the difference in the world. She sleeps really well on her tummy and will self settle quite happily. Before we started sleep training we walked miles with the buggy to get decent naps and to sort of reset her a bit. I've also got her to attach to a comforter which has also helped, she goes to sleep with her head on it or with a corner in her mouth.
flowers I feel your pain though. Cosleeping is great when it works but horrible with a whingy baby batting you all night.

Zaurak Thu 14-Apr-16 20:42:38

Oh god, you have one too! Ds is exactly the same and I am on my knees with exhaustion.

He just will not sleep. I've tried everything except cio and he will not stay asleep for more than twenty minutes. It is hellish.

If one more person says 'just pop him in a sling' I will cry

Zaurak Thu 14-Apr-16 20:43:55

Sorry that wasn't terribly helpful of me...

flowers anyway. I obviously have no suggestions but you're not alone....

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