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my 14 month old won't sleep!

(12 Posts)
Becca1818 Sun 10-Apr-16 19:56:09

My 14 month old ds has only ever slept through the night once and that was only after a night in hospital where he was awake all night!

I'm knackered!

He's waking up 2-4 times a night and the only thing I can do to settle him is to give him a bottle. These past few weeks he had ended up in bed with me and oh has ended up on the sofa!

What can I do? Am I doing something wrong? We're at the end of our tether.

Becca1818 Sun 10-Apr-16 19:57:31

Just to add, I can't do the cry it out method as I don't agree with it

Headlesshorseman Sun 10-Apr-16 19:59:45

Gradual withdrawal? I'm currently sat on my bed waiting for did to drop off, she's a year. Nice and gentle, not as hard on the ears :-)

Headlesshorseman Sun 10-Apr-16 20:00:49

And fwiw, she's my third, the first one just decided to sleep through at 15 months and the second was still in with us most night til 3 grin

InsaneDame Sun 10-Apr-16 20:08:04

If I were you I would start by stopping the bottles during the night, you might find this sorts out your problem.

Becca1818 Sun 10-Apr-16 20:48:19

@insanedame how do I do that? He screams the place down until he gets one

Buttwing Sun 10-Apr-16 21:02:12

My dc4 was like this he was waking two or three times a night and having a bottle each time sometimes 30 ounces of milk a night. I went to see my hv who was brilliant she pointed out that everything I settled him down for a sleep I gave him a bottle and this had become a sleep cue for him, ie it's what he did to get sleep.
I got rid of the bottle and did three nights of controlled crying (understand its not for you) that's all it took after 18 months of at least two wakes a night he now sleeps 7-7 and he's like a different child. The amount he is eating has massively increased too because obviously now he's not feeding all night he's hungry.

InsaneDame Mon 11-Apr-16 07:31:18

When I cut out night feeds at 10mo I just delayed the feeding time evey few nights. So the first night no feeding before 12am, I stuck to this for 3 nights then I would change it to no feeds before 12.30am for 3 days etc. So move the time by 30 minutes every 3 days. You might find if he wakes but then you manage to settle him without milk that be may sleep until a later time e.g 3am, in which case you can jump to no feeding until 3am as you know be can go until then. When I have mine a feed at 5am but be wasn't settling back to sleep I cut it out altogether. It may have been easier for me as mine wasn't particularly waking for milk (he continued to wake regularly until about 22mo) but you do need to work out a different way of comforting him - we used to leave our DS in his cot and pat bottom until he dropped off again.

TippetyTapWriter Mon 11-Apr-16 09:05:20

Hi, no answers I'm afraid but sympathies. My 11mo has never slept through the night. Normally wakes about 11pm, 1.30am, 5am. Sometimes the first one we can get him back to sleep, the other two he has a bottle. Can't think of any other way to settle him. In cot he just storms around crying, trying to stand up, ends up falling over and hitting his head etc. No idea how you can shush/pat a moving target!! If we try to rock him to sleep he fights us and tries to wriggle out of our arms, crying all the time. Naps are the same!

I don't know how to stop the night feeds. He drinks his bottle like he's starving then goes right back to sleep. It's just so easy compared to anything else. But I would love to be able to sleep for more than a few hours in a row!! He eats loads during the day too, as well as three bottles, so I don't see how he can actually be hungry at night!

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Good luck, know you're not alone!

Buttwing Mon 11-Apr-16 09:47:54

My DS used to drink his bottles like he hadn't been fed for a week! Try swapping the bottle for a sippy cup. When DS turned his nose up I knew he wasn't hungry and he was just sucking to get himself back to sleep. It was so easy to just give him a quick bottle to get him off to sleep because it was by far the quickest and easiest thing to do but after 18 months something had to change for me I couldn't keep getting up and I felt things were getting worse not better.
I felt like my other three children were suffering because I was exhausted all the time.

Becca1818 Mon 11-Apr-16 15:12:06

Thanks all.

It's so frustrating isn't it. I'm just that tired I can't be bothered to do anything else but give him a quick bottle and back to bed. I know that's the wrong attitude but for my sanity it's what I need to do. I'm back at work now and I'm not 100% sure how I'm functioning.

How me and oh still talk to each other is also beyond me.

Has anyone tried reducing the amount of milk rather than not giving any at all?

Purpleboa Mon 11-Apr-16 22:49:28

No advice but much sympathy. My DD is 9 months and also wakes a lot. I'm still breastfeeding her, despite my best efforts to get her off it (she refuses to take a bottle ). I know I need to stop feeding her at night, but like you say, it's just easier to do - especially when you're exhausted and don't want to wake the rest of the house up. Every day I resolve I will get tough at night...and every night it's the same story. Don't know what to do really!

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