3.5 weeks baby not sleeping enough

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Ds1 3.5 weeks old, he's having a lot of pains / wind which is waking him up, infacol is helping but not solving it. Suspect he might have reflux as he's also being frequently sick. Midwife / hv just said it was normal but I'm going to take him to dr as I'm worried he's not getting enough rest.

Last night he slept almost 3 hrs, awake for 1.5, slept 1.5, awake 1 hr then sort of slept fitfully for 1, waking up yelping and settling back. We got up around 5.30 and so far today he's had about 4 30-45 min sleeps and that's it, some 10-15 min dozes when eating etc but no proper sleep.

Making things worse is he will only fall asleep when being fed or occasionally being rocked, and will wake up as soon as transferred to cot / bouncer / sleepyhead / anywhere but arms. He's currently asleep and I'm holding him, which is the longest stretch today ( 45 mins, then awake 20, now sleeping another 45 min).

So my questions!

Should I prioritise letting him sleep or waking him to feed? Feeding hasn't been consistent either but last fed almost 2 hrs ago. Also thinking about through the night.

How soon should I be working on breaking the habit of only sleeping being held? If I'm lucky I can get him to settle in cot overnight but it takes a lot of holding before he's fully asleep first.

Also, does this sound normal for a newborn or should I be (more) worried?

[Artandco]

That sounds normal for a 3 week old

I would wake in the day though if they haven't fed for 3 hrs as otherwise they won't get enough food during the day making nights even worse.

I just bought a wrap sling, wrapped them in it on Dh or myself at that age and left them in there most the day at that age. They then just napped whenever as already on us. Meant we could get on with whatever a snot stuck in one place

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Thanks - I've got a sling but not used it yet, had emcs and scar opened up last week so still taking it easy, hopefully will start with it this weekend. My back is killing me already carrying him ...!

He's still sleeping but I will wake him for food and bath at the 3 hr point. Hopefully he'll be tired enough to go into cot quickly afterwards ...

This 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing would be great if I could put him down!

[MadgeMak]

Google the fourth trimester. They do tend to want to be held a lot at this age. It's tough but once you feel physically able to I would strongly recommend a decent sling too, mine practically lived in the sling for the first few months and then happily settled in his cot once he was ready without issue.

[MadgeMak]

Also if he does has reflux as you suspect, using a sling is ideal as you can keep him upright after feeds and at least be hands free to make yourself a cup of tea. This too will pass!

[Artandco]

What kind of sling do you have? A wrap sling up high shouldn't go anywhere near scar. Look up baby k'tan sling for an idea of the type I mean.

[hebs72]

I've asked myself exactly the same questions, with our now 6-week old. I'm in the same boat, as she won't sleep unless she's in someone's arms, and also has reflux - keeping her upright for up to an hour after a night feed is killing me, sleep-wise.

I also had a C-section, but she's currently fast asleep in a sling on my chest - we have the Caboo - and it's nowhere near my scar. However, I'm lucky in that I've healed fast, so appreciate it's different for everyone.

With regards to the reflux thing, we also thought it was colic/wind to start with, and were giving Infacol and sometimes gripe water. That actually seemed to make everything worse, so we've stopped using it completely. We do baby colic massage, which seems to help, and she's now on Gaviscon, which is a whole different topic. But, I'd go with keeping your LO as close to you as possible, and accept that he's not going to sleep on his own yet (although a Sleepyhead is very useful for putting them down near you, if you need to be doing other things - like going to the loo! ). I'm finally accepting the fourth trimester thing, and finding out that I can exist on 4 hours sleep a night..... sometimes.