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What is a good age to get your baby out of bed sharing?

(17 Posts)
MYA2016 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:03:14

My 9 week old has been bed sharing since he was a week old, when we gave up trying to get him on his own as he was just not having any of it (day time and night time he always falls asleep on us no matter what we've tried. We have tried the snuzpod, sleepy head, swaddling, white noise, warming with hot water bottle, putting in my breast pads, rocking him to sleep, feeding him to sleep, dummy, putting him down half an hour into his sleep. You name it.) We still try him at least once a week but he just instantly wakes up and cries, and will not settle again until we have him in with us.
Anyway I'm just curious as to what age your baby stopped bed sharing, and how did you get them out if it?
Is it something we should be regularly encouraging? Or will he let us know when it's time?
I'd appreciate any advise as I don't want to miss the window of opportunity

Sootica Fri 18-Mar-16 19:06:55

Er no advice OP unless you want to share to 16m, 12m and 9m. I did manage it make it a little earlier with each DC.....

Freezingwinter Fri 18-Mar-16 19:09:06

I still share with my 13 month old. Some babies just love being nearby!

WowOoo Fri 18-Mar-16 19:15:39

I got mine out of my bed with a battle of wills when he was three. It didn't fully work until he was just four. I had to bribe him with a huge treat!

I liked it and we have a massive bed. I miss those days. Not the best person to advise. I suppose you just need to keep at it and try to get them sleepy in their own bed. So when he wakes up he knows where he is.

lenibose Fri 18-Mar-16 19:22:31

At around 8 months I taught him to fall asleep independently but in my bed. Then put him in a cot next to me, at 12 months. Cried for 10 mins the first day but was fine afterwards. He then stayed in our room in a cot at the foot of our bed till he was 3 (logistical issues) and then transferred seamlessly to his own room.

DraggingItOut Fri 18-Mar-16 19:25:54

Same situation as you OP but my baby is five months. Also tried everything. She will settle for short periods in the cot but then will not go back down after a feed. Forever hopeful, I try every night in the vain hope it will work one day! I do like it but am now getting worried about her rolling as she gets bigger and quite often wake up in a panic that I have rolled on to her or something. My older DC still gets in bed with us in the night, but didn't co-sleep as a young baby.
I suppose embracing it has made me less anxious as I know for certain she will settle on the bed, so although I do try her in the cot, I don't get worked up if she won't settle.

Nan0second Fri 18-Mar-16 19:28:00

About 18 weeks or so. Cot was full size next to our bed with one side removed - like a giant co-sleeper. (Sleepyhead inside so she wasn't lost). I tried to put her down in the cot every night after at least one feed and gradually things got so she was mostly sleeping in there!

ftmsoon Fri 18-Mar-16 19:28:01

About 7months, we started putting DD to sleep in the cot in her own room, but feeding to sleep with a careful transfer! Several times a night!
At 23 months, she still ends up in our bed 4-5 nights a week, but goes down in her cot.

stargirl1701 Fri 18-Mar-16 19:30:29

I would think around puberty, OP. You have a while yet.

TeaPleaseLouise Fri 18-Mar-16 19:37:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BingoBonkers Fri 18-Mar-16 19:40:11

I don't think there is a window. Think it happens when it happens. 3.5 yo comes in most nights at some point. We all go back to sleep quicker that way than trying to return the child to own bed.

Have you tried a Bednest?

MYA2016 Fri 18-Mar-16 20:14:36

Can I ask what you all do if you have to spend a night away? For instance, we're going to stay with family next month and I have no idea what their mattress is like (ours is firm). Also does this mean you can never spend a night apart from your little one?

MYA2016 Fri 18-Mar-16 20:15:29

Bingo I think the bednest is like the snuzpod isn't it?

Coconut0il Fri 18-Mar-16 20:19:34

DP worked nights when DS1 was small so he slept in with me till he was 3blush Actually really missed him when he went into his own bed.
DS2 is 7 months and in with us, no rush to get him out, we have a big bed and everyone sleeps better this way! He does have his cot next to the bed and last night was the first night I moved him across.. awake in 10 minutes.

scepticalexpat Fri 18-Mar-16 20:24:42

We managed to gradually move ours from sharing our bed to the cosleeper cot to a cot in another room from 6-8 months. It was quite a slog but we got there!

DraggingItOut Fri 18-Mar-16 20:30:02

mya2016 When away I've just done the same as I do at home... And chucked DH into a spare bed if it's a double as used to a big bed at home!

Junosmum Sat 19-Mar-16 22:44:53

OP, I could have written your post. DS is 11 weeks, we've tried everything you have. Last week, for no apparent reason he started spending from 10pm, when we went upstairs, until his 5am feed (he also fed at 1ish and 3ish) in his sleepyhead/ snuzpod combo. Don't know how or why. We just try putting him down every night after his 10pm feed. Then this week he has refused to go down in his own bed again. During the day he will only seep on someone. I don't like bed sharing, I don't sleep as well. Probably as DS spends the night with his nose pressed against my boob- I can't move and I get sore hips and a dead arm. All I can say is take it one night at a time and keep trying.

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