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Help me spot tired cues and stop the crying!

(15 Posts)
graysor Mon 14-Mar-16 09:22:06

I am completely hopeless at spotting tired sleepy cues from my 13.5 mo dd. What should I be looking for? I know yawns are a late sign, but what else is there? I never seem to see the avoiding eye contact and staring into space. But maybe I'm just not paying enough attention? Any tips? Anything else I'm missing?

At the moment I try to make sure we start going down for a nap after about an hour and fifteen minutes awake time. The problem is that as soon as I start doing the nap routine she starts crying (full on wailing, rigid arms and legs etc). And then seems to be inconsolable for a good 30 mins or so.

Is this because she is overtired? How can I stop her crying and get her calm enough to put down for her nap? Holding, rocking, swaying, singing, shushing all seem to have no effect. She won't have a dummy, despite lots of trying.

Help!

museumum Mon 14-Mar-16 09:24:52

I can't remember it now (ds is2.5 it goes by in a flash) but I liked the 90min sleep solution or whatever it was called. Good book. Saved my sanity.
Have you tried waiting another 15min till the magic 90 mins?

strawberrypenguin Mon 14-Mar-16 09:26:54

Thing is tired cues are different for every child. For example my DS gets bright red ears when he's tired but that's just him! He also 'flits' and won't settle doing any one thing for more than a minute or two.
Unfortunately you just need to 'learn' your child.

LucyLocketLostHerPocket Mon 14-Mar-16 09:29:47

Don't want to be the bearer of bad news but two of mine had dropped all day time sleeps unless we were out in the car by the age of 12 months.

Other than that rubbing eyes and tugging ears were sure fire signs.

northdownmummy Mon 14-Mar-16 09:33:33

Could you possibly be trying to
Put her down too soon. My DD is almost 5 months and 2 - 2.5 hrs awake time is about right for her. Is have thought at 13 months your SD would have dropped to just 2 naps a day. So much longer awake

lightgreenglass Mon 14-Mar-16 09:38:04

You mean 13.5 weeks?

If so, at that age for mine, an hour and 15 mins of awake time was too much. I would aim for less awake time so she is calm when you put them down and then leave her to it. There's no harm in her being in her cot staring into space for 10-15 mins if she's not there yet. Mine used to take about 15 mins to nod off. Now it's a different story and going through the dreaded separation anxiety phase.

If she is 13.5 months - then she needs to be awake for much longer!

BathshebaDarkstone Mon 14-Mar-16 09:50:17

At 13 months DD went through a phase of taking an hour to fall asleep during the day. She used to throw out all toys and bedding then crash out on a bare mattress!

graysor Mon 14-Mar-16 10:02:03

Sorry, yes light green I mean 13.5 Weeks not months!

graysor Mon 14-Mar-16 10:07:38

OK, so I should try putting her down after an hour awake, regardless of tired cues (that I might not be recognising)?

She just starts crying if I put her down awake though. She won't just lie there quietly, even if I try shush pat.

Gillian1980 Mon 14-Mar-16 13:53:45

Will she nap if you don't put her down?

My DD is 7 months and sleeps in her cot at night but will only nap on me, or in car or pram if we're out. Won't nap at all if I put her down - typing one handed now as she's napping in my other arm!

Diddlydokey Mon 14-Mar-16 14:01:57

I was so confused at 13.5 months! I was thinking - just put her down at 11.30 for 2 hours plus and watch a film <yearns>

I used this chart when DS was younger. He had no sleep cues until he was overtired so I just watched the clock www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html

I used to take DS upstairs to his room, close the curtains, change his nappy and put him in his sleeping bag. I'd then put him down and leave him to it. If he was crying after a few/5 minutes, I'd go back in and rub his tummy, reinsert the dummy and shh him. I'd keep him in his cot. I'd leave after a minute or so and then go back and do the same if still crying in a few minutes.

I was happy with this level of crying because he was usually asleep by 10 minutes which was less crying than rocking etc where he'd just scream.

almostthirty Mon 14-Mar-16 14:03:36

Both my dc get really hot hands when they're tired. That's the only signal they give.

graysor Mon 14-Mar-16 15:57:41

Gillian - she will nap in the sling, and occasionally the buggy. And sometimes this is fine. But it's getting exhausting carrying her for hours every day.

Diddly - according to the chart she should be awake for between one hour and one hour 45. So I think aiming for 1 hour 15 is probably about right, especially as I can't spot any cues! Does your ds start crying as soon as you put him down? My Dd does so I'm reluctant to let her cry like that for 5 mins. Although maybe it's worth a try, as holding her doesn't seem to stop her.

Diddlydokey Mon 14-Mar-16 17:16:14

He would cry as soon as I wasn't holding him usually but once he was used to it he stopped crying very quickly. It's a very personal decision but ds basically went to sleep much better if left alone.

lightgreenglass Mon 14-Mar-16 21:49:30

I did/do the same as Diddly. My eldest would only ever nap on me or his father, but like a dream for his childminder. Anyway, he's 2.5 now and it's a PITA to get him to have a nap, he has to still be on one of us or on the brink of exhausation so I wish I had done the same for him what I've done with DS2.

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