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3wk old self settle?

(22 Posts)
MadAboutFourteen Sat 12-Mar-16 19:18:49

How can I get my 3wk old to self settle? She's been using a dummy but she spits it out and wakes regularly. She's not sleeping during the day at all. Should I persevere with the dummy or is there a better way? She seems tired but unable to drop off or do more than cat nap. She's hard to resettle at night too.

Whatdoidohelp Sat 12-Mar-16 19:20:21

At 3 weeks they are completely reliant on you! If she needs to be held to sleep you'll need to do it. 3 weeks is too early for self settling.

Kirriemuir Sat 12-Mar-16 19:21:09

She's 3 weeks old. Forget self settling. Cuddles and skin to skin. She's 3 weeks, she won't sleep all night.

My DS never slept for longer than 40 minutes twice a day even as a new born.

Lilipot15 Sat 12-Mar-16 19:21:21

You'll get a lot of advice on this in the sleep forum, but essentially, she is tiny (Google fourth trimester) and shouldn't be expected to self settle!!
Try naps in a sling / on you / in pram.
She's probably overtired and once you get some more sleep for her she'll hopefully become easier to settle, but please don't expect her to a self-settle!! My DD2 only just does this sometimes at 8 months.

JosiePye Sat 12-Mar-16 19:23:26

I wouldn't leave a 3 week old to self settle, it's much too young. Will she nap in a sling or pram, or if you rock her? Do you have others around who you could take turns to hold her with? At night, would you consider co-sleeping? It's the only way I could resettle one of my dds.

LittlePoot Sat 12-Mar-16 19:27:42

It definitely would be too early for me to leave a baby to learn to self settle, but there are other things you could try that might give comfort and help baby stay asleep. Ours liked being swaddled and that seemed to signal sleep time from quite early on. And warming the crib with a water bottle before putting him down drowsy/just asleep sometimes helped stop him jerking awake. Try not to let them get very tired before trying to get them to sleep - just a couple of yawns and its time for a nap. But don't expect too much from naps at this stage - they might not always be very long. It doesn't last forever though I promise. Just feels like it a bit at this stage.

CremeEggThief Sat 12-Mar-16 19:28:42

Far, far too young.

MadAboutFourteen Sat 12-Mar-16 19:28:59

Thanks all, if the advice is keep on, I'm happy with that. Just didn't want to screw her up! Will ask for thread to be moved to sleep smile

Zippidydoodah Sat 12-Mar-16 19:38:35

Good post by littlepoot re: keeping her asleep when trying to put her down. But she is THREE WEEKS OLD. hold her, in a sling if necessary, but she needs to be close to you. Are you breastfeeding? She might need to feed very frequently if so.

LovelyBranches Sat 12-Mar-16 19:49:12

Self settling at 3 weeks is impossible. You cannot spoil a baby, especially at this age. You wont get this time back, snuggle, love, enjoy.

Coconut0il Sat 12-Mar-16 19:56:27

Feed, cuddle, rock... 3 weeks is too little to self settle. Your DD will just want her Mummy. Google 4th trimester, it's an interesting read. You can't spoil a baby.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sat 12-Mar-16 19:58:55

I have twins - you can't rock them to sleep they had to sleep on their own - it is possible - I felt for those who have quads -

Wrap in a blanket - and put them in a slightly raised position - head higher than belly - they can do it!!

Horrible how everyone thinks this is wrong

MadAboutFourteen Sat 12-Mar-16 19:59:18

I'm expressing. I have help but not all the time. We swaddle (arms out) but this doesn't seem to help much. Will try hot water bottle, thanks.

I just wondered if I was making the problem worse with the dummy. As soon as it falls out she screams.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sat 12-Mar-16 20:02:28

Super glue?

OhShutUpThomas Sat 12-Mar-16 20:05:41

Expecting a 3 week old to self settle is cruel.
You need to be holding, feeding, and rocking if that's what they want. You will not be 'making a rod for your own back.'

And please don't ever put a hot water bottle anywhere near a baby!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sat 12-Mar-16 20:06:54

Mine liked the feel of a soft blanket in their cheeks - folded up - might help with the dummy

It might not be the dummy it might be heart burn - do you life her up - scream for 20 mins then try to lie down again - then scream again?

Keep her more upright after a feed/wind and the put a blanket under the mattress to be head above stomach

FifiFerusha Sun 13-Mar-16 07:29:21

I think at 3 weeks that it is too young. I was eager to help my DS to self settle but didn't start anything properly until 2 or 3 months and that was shh pat. The beginnings of independent sleep. I think it is better to learn your LOs needs and patterns of sleep because at that age if timings are wrong they will struggle to self settle anyway. Get good sleeping habits established by using a sling, a rock, a cuddle or a walk. Then think about self settling once you and your baby understand how and when they want to sleep. Bouncy chair may help. My DS took to that in the early days and it teaches them not to sleep on you. I think he even slept in it at night for the first three weeks. Also check out awake times for a 3 week old. I think it is as little as one hour.

Also don't worry about the dummy just perservere. Mine never took to them but most say they are a life saver. Good luck.

TreeSparrow Sun 13-Mar-16 17:03:51

As most others have said it's far too young to expect this. Fourth trimester all the way. She should be attached to you to feel calm. Tying to enforce separation will be extremely stressful for her at this age.

Murphyslaw21 Sun 13-Mar-16 17:08:13

No hot water bottle they can easily overheat a baby really dangerous

Swaddle arms in. You tube videos. Loads of suggestions for wriggly babies some don't like it but usually a minute or two later they are fine

3 weeks is too little to self settle

Murphyslaw21 Sun 13-Mar-16 17:26:43

Always say dummy when giving it to her. Even though too little to understand they do pick up on associating words at a few months.

I did this from about 6 weeks old. Always put dummy in Moses basket or cot in same place so now she rolls over and finds it. (Ok she now has 5 in cot at night) but she rolls around and knocks them on floor.

Zippidydoodah Sun 13-Mar-16 19:04:59

The hot water bottle is to warm up the Moses basket, not the bloody baby!! Ffs. It is removed before baby goes in. And worked an absolute treat for all three of mine. hmm

Murphyslaw21 Sun 13-Mar-16 19:28:51

Zippy that fine but did OP say that... NO so people are just making sure she is not putting it near baby.

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