I posted here a couple of weeks ago but am still really struggling. I just don't know what to do or where to turn.
My baby just will not settle into a pattern of any sorts at night. Every night is a lottery and I hate that I can't work out what is going on.
I go to bed at 8pm every night because I just can't know whether my daughter will have a good night (waking once at 2 to feed) or a bad night (waking at 10,12,2,3,4,5). If it's a good night, I've gone to bed too early so am sat awake even when she's gone back off to sleep.
I'm starting to really resent not having a life in the evenings and I just cry constantly when I'm awake in the night. I don't know what to do.
I've heard everything - she'll settle at 12 weeks, 11lbs is the magic weight, 4 and a half months she'll start to self soothe, when you start her on solids she'll sleep, she'll wear herself out once she's crawling. I used to have hope about getting to these milestones but now I just stop listening. Nothing changes.
I know I am coming across as very negative and defeated but that's how I feel. I'm so fucking tired and I'm so angry and sad at myself because it means I'm not enjoying my baby in the day anymore.
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ChannelFiftySeven · 12/03/2016 04:36
How old is she? My second was like this but now at 13months we have finally cracked it through a mix of less naps and a lot more food in the day esp the few hrs before bed.
Sorry you're finding it hard 
its awful when you're right in it.
She actually doesn't mind being fed. She loves food and seems to enjoy most things I give her. She will eat until she's turning her face away and reusing but then still has all her formula throughout the day as well! Maybe I will see about trying different foods / ways to feed her.
There are thicker milks over here but it has taken us an absolute age finding s formula that suits her so I don't really want to switch again.
Thank you for your suggestions. I'm sure I will feel more positive when it's day time. I just hate the relentlessness of the nights. I hate myself because I get so frustrated and almost resent my daughter. Then I well up and cry because I'm being so heartless and cruel. She's only tiny and doesn't know any different 
Does she get constipated easily Tha was a prob with ours when she was young?
She needed water top.ups to keep things moving and had to be very careful what foods we gave her. Still catches us out now tbh.
But mostly id get out without your baby and do something for yourself better still if you can have an evening with your partner.
Its a hard phase but eventually it ends and they start terrible twos 
Sorry I mean that she'll be very drowsy - eyes rolling, limbs limp etc - but at the last moment she kind of jolts herself awake and smiles. She so needs the sleep but just won't allow herself to, it seems.
She never liked being swaddled - I tried a lot when she was teeny. She doesn't like being tucked in blankets in the pram or anything either. She is always moving, always looking around, evaluating things. It exhausts me just watching her.
To make things even worse she fell off the bed this morning so I feel like even more of a terrible parent. She is fine but she bloody howled I know it's because I'm tired and not being as vigilant. Poor little mite - I just keep thinking how unlucky she is to have me as a mum.
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