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Please help me have a night out in July!!

(13 Posts)
peardroplets Fri 11-Mar-16 09:33:31

Ok so this sounds a bit ridiculous but I haven't been out since my baby was born nearly eight months ago. I breastfeed her to sleep - she doesn't self settle and will usually wake up at any point between 30 minutes to three hours of going back to sleep at which point I bf her back to sleep again. It is not exactly the Gina Ford school of parenting but it works fine for us, although I would quite like to get out of always breastfeeding but only when we have another option which doesn't involve her crying.

It's my DH's 40th in July and we would like to go for a night out. But at this point I can't visualise leaving her with anyone as she cries herself hysterical if anyone but me tries to settle her - even DH can't do it.

So my question is how can I, in the most gentle and non-crying way possible, work towards this mythical quest of having a nice evening out and leave her with a kind auntie...

I have read Elizabeth Pantley's book and tried the pull off thing but even though she does sometimes doze off a few seconds after pulling off, it doesn't seem to really have made much difference.

Skiptonlass Fri 11-Mar-16 15:38:33

Hmm... How often does she feed in the day? Say it's every three hours. If she wakes before three hours, she gets dh and a sippy cup of water.

Does she have a comfort item? of not then get one and put it between you as you feed. Pull off a bit and gently Bung a paw in her mouth...

Skiptonlass Fri 11-Mar-16 15:45:07

Sorry ds whacked the phone and it posted...

So with the comfort item, kind of snuggle it when you feed, get them to cuddle it as they feed, pull off, put a paw/ear in their mouth, then feed a bit more. Gradually increase the time spent chewing/cuddling the bunny or whatever and less time feeding. Bunny can then live in the cot and she's got something to hold and mouth when she wakes to soothe her.

CornishDoll82 Fri 11-Mar-16 17:42:00

Simplest option would probably be to express and someone else could feed her a bottle.

Otherwise the only option is going to be trying the long road of getting her to self settle...

peardroplets Fri 11-Mar-16 17:43:00

So grateful for your reply and very practical advice. I'm feeding her as we speak with a floppy bunny comforter wedged in between us so I will definitely follow this. I tried introducing it a few months ago but she didn't seem interested but I have noticed her playing with it a bit more recently so maybe she is ready for it now.

peardroplets Fri 11-Mar-16 17:47:11

Cornish she has never taken a bottle but drinks from a sippy cup. I wonder if a cup of milk would actually put her to sleep as it's the comfort of bf she wants I think and that is all that will settle her. Might try it with some formula if I'm desperate as I never got on with expressing.

PotteringAlong Fri 11-Mar-16 17:49:32

Is she ok if you're not there? Mine would want to be fed if I was there and wouldn't settle without but we're fine with a bottle / sippy cup if they knew I wasn't there.

trilbydoll Fri 11-Mar-16 17:55:41

How does she sleep in the day? Would pushchair / car work?

DD2 can settle herself but my PIL can't bear to let her cry. So if it's just one night your babysitter could take their approach - either walk her in the pram, or give up and let her watch nursery rhyme videos on the iPad. It's not ideal but for one night it doesn't matter.

By then she'll be bigger so might have stopped that first wake up at least as well.

peardroplets Fri 11-Mar-16 19:05:35

I have never left her with anyone else to settle as she gets so upset when dh tries to but then again it may be different if I'm not there. I think I probably just have to bite the bullet and go out and leave a sippy cup of formula with my dh just to see how she reacts. Yes she does sleep in the buggy so there is always that option I guess. And who knows she might have mastered putting herself to sleep by then...I live in hope.

PotteringAlong Fri 11-Mar-16 20:11:19

Give it a go and go out. Worst case scenario you're gone for a few hours and can feed her when you get back. Best case scenario she sleeps like a dream!

Purpleboa Fri 11-Mar-16 21:47:32

Following this with great interest! I'm in exactly the same boat OP. DD 8 months, ebf, fed to sleep, only I can do nights. I have a wedding in May that requires an overnight stay so she'll be left with DH. Then in June I have a work con that I HAVE to stay over for.

I am desperately trying to get her to take a bottle but I think that ship had sailed. She does take formula in a cup so I think that's the road we're going down...

Love the comfort toy suggestion!

Good luck to us both!

Purpleboa Fri 11-Mar-16 21:48:18

Work conference that should read!

Coconut0il Sat 12-Mar-16 00:48:12

DS2 is 6 months, I bf him to sleep in bed with me. DP has no chance of getting DS to settle upstairs. I've been out about 5 times since DS was born and DP usually gives him a drink in a sippy cup, he won't take a bottle, and either swings him in the car seat or pushes him back and forth in the pushchair. Neither is ideal but for 1 night a month it's ok for us.

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