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What the hell is bedtime for a new baby?

(15 Posts)
ammature Mon 07-Mar-16 00:15:59

I have a 3 and a half week old BF baby, he is great very placid and fairly ok at sleeping. I want to help him sleep well as often I feel he needs our help to settle- of course. When I read about sleep habits for babies books refer to naps and bedtime. This is rather confusing as I thought baby slept where we sleep so for example this evening he fell asleep about 8-11pm I was downstairs so he went into his Moses in the living room. When he woke we took him to bed which is our bedroom so he is essentially with us all the time. I am not suggesting sleep training or anything mad like that at this stage but more looking to start how we mean to go on. So should I be starting a bed time routine? And what time is bed time? And do I do this in our bedroom and use a Moniter? I was thinking bath and gro bag on after nappy plus a breastfeed would be reasonable then cuddles to sleep. Last few nights he has not liked being put back to sleep in his cot I think he just wants to be in our arms so I am trying warming cot tonight. Thanks for your advice

ammature Mon 07-Mar-16 09:32:54

Anyone ?

fluffypenguinbelly Mon 07-Mar-16 09:45:55

I didn't bother to be honest. The SIDS guidelines say that they should sleep with others in the room until six months so that's what I did. He stayed downstairs with us until we went to bed.

LadyStark Mon 07-Mar-16 09:47:40

I wouldn't do anything differently yet, we started a bedtime routine about three months when she started falling properly asleep between 7-8pm. They need to be with you when they are so small and SIDS advice is keep them in same room as you for all sleeps.

Gillian1980 Mon 07-Mar-16 09:49:30

With DD we didn't do "bedtime" until about 10 weeks, which is when she really had day and night differentiate and was sleeping longer blocks. I just didn't see the point before that.

Up until then we just kept her with us downstairs until we went to bed, usually cuddling her all evening and feeding on demand. We'd change her into sleep suit and growbag when we went up to bed.

DD suddenly started sleeping bigger blocks at about 10 weeks but she would not settle before 1am for anything! So we just went along with it.
A couple of weeks later she suddenly changed it to 11pm, then a couple of weeks later to 8.30pm, now its been 7pm for quite a long while.

Once we had an established time she was ready to sleep we put the bedtime routine in around it. Just lullaby, last feed, change nappy and PJs.

She went into her own room at 13 weeks ish as she was sleeping through but our snoring was disturbing her too much.

BertrandRussell Mon 07-Mar-16 09:50:13

Please don't set up unrealistic expectations for yourself. He's far too little for any sort of routine yet. Just follow him- feed him when he's hungry, let him sleep when he sleeps. He will start to show a pattern at some stage- but not yet.

For now, do whatever gets the most people the most sleep!

Rodent01 Mon 07-Mar-16 09:52:21

Anything went until 8 weeks, then did bath at 6.30ish, fed at about 7/7.30ish and she went to sleep in her basket in our room with the monitor on and we would then creep in to go to bed and she'd wake about 2/3 for a feed then sleep till the morning.

I was lucky, she was a good sleeper and still is.

Moses basket was always upstairs in our room, daytime naps were in carrycot pram in living room. I felt the need to distinguish the two - not sure why, but it felt right!

Annarose2014 Mon 07-Mar-16 09:53:32

Ours stayed down with us till about 11pm in the Moses basket.

Then at 9 weeks he suddenly started getting very cranky at 7 pm and after a few days of confusion we twigged that he wanted to be in the dark. So we had to buy a video monitor very quickly!

After that I put him upstairs when he was dozy around 7. and watched the monitor obsessively

I think he still woke up at 11 for a feed but he was happier up there.

middlings Mon 07-Mar-16 09:54:20

If he wants to be held, and it doesn't bother you, then hold him. I needed a break occasionally and used to hand them over the DH. DD1 settled into a bedtime routine at 5 weeks but in hindsight I spent far to much time trying to get DD2 to do the same thing. I eventually relaxed and she and I co-slept for six months with DH taking the early part of the evening to give me a bit of a break.

Now she's 2.5 and I get "don't KISS me Mummy" when I try to grin.

Congratulations on your baby. flowers

CornishDoll82 Mon 07-Mar-16 10:07:31

I found this all very confusing!!

From about 6 weeks we did an evening routine like you suggest to help get sleep associations going. This then involved us staying in the bedroom in the evening so we were in the same room but baby was in cot. To be honest it wasn't easy, we watched TV quietly and read, but we do have an amazing sleeping baby who's never had any issues sleeping in her cot and I do think that's part of the reason.

At about 3 months we started going downstairs in the evening as it just wasn't possible to sit there quietly enough for her. We had a breathing monitor for more reassurance.

ammature Mon 07-Mar-16 11:42:47

Ok thanks all sounds like the concensious is it's too early to do anything which I'm fine with I do t have any problems holding and cuddling him to sleep etc I just wanted to create some good sleep associations for him but seems like his natural rythem will become clear in time wink

katienana Mon 07-Mar-16 12:43:14

Baby just went to bed when I did. I can't honestly remember when I started trying to put him down on his own. ..about 6 months maybe? Never worked really get would sleep 40 minutes max which was just enough time to eat! Then we'd just all get into bed and snuggle and watch something on the ipad which he could sleep through. He went in own room at 1.

Battleshiphips2 Mon 07-Mar-16 13:22:36

My 2 and a half week old laughs in the face of bedtime hmm grin We kept our first in whatever room we were in until he was around 6 months then started a proper bedtime. Will do the same with this one.

middlings Mon 07-Mar-16 16:45:13

Battleships I remember someone asking me when DD2 was 16 weeks whether or not she was in a routine. I said that she HAD a routine but to describe her as IN it was an exaggeration. She laughed in the face of anything I tried until she was seven months and laughs at most of it still. The universe decided I clearly needed a boot in the arse after being more than a little smug about the wonderfulness of DD1's routine!!

HMB85 Sat 12-Mar-16 14:12:05

Our 5month old still doesn't have a set routine, she sleeps quite well and will have naps during the day and early evening in a Moses basket in the front room, I do try and have her changed into her bed clothes for anything between 6-8, then she comes to bed with us has her last feed of the night from anything between 10-12 then she goes down in her cot in our room and sleeps straight for 6-8 hours and then will go down for anther 2 after that. I have considered putting her up into her cot earlier in the evening, but she does still have some awake time during the evening and does get a bit grizzly, at the moment this works for us, so my thinking on it all is what's the point in trying to enforce a routine when what we are doing works for us at the moment, go with whatever suits you smile. When our little one was a couple of weeks old people were talking to me about getting her into a routine, the whole thing panicked me, I couldn't have got her into a routine. Good luck and congratulations on the new arrival smile

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