Wits end - cc ing?

[Zaurak]

I haven't slept at all for three days. My son is five months and I thought we'd got through the four month regression but now he is waking up every 45 minutes and screaming.

I've been picking him up and putting him down but as soon as he hits the bed he's screaming again.

I cannot cope any more. I've had five months of surviving on two hours a night but this is too much. I am frankly suicidal.

He doesn't normally cry - I've just left him for two minutes , he's been sick and is punching himself in the head. I've fed him back to sleep but in 45 minutes it will all start again.

I know with cc you're supposed to leave it a little longer each time but really? Even if they're that upset? How long do you do it for? All night if needed?

[Littlemissjt]

Could he be struggling with teething or anything? My 6 month old is being a terrible sleeper just now and it's due to teething. I caved at 5 am after being up every two hours and brought him into bed with me. Not ideal, and not something I want to get in habit of but he slept for 3.5hours after that and it meant I got a bit more sleep. Might be an idea to help you.
You have my sympathy!

[Zaurak]

He's been teething since Xmas but nothing's through. I do have him in bed with me if he won't settle after a few hours... It doesn't make much difference to the waking and screaming, it just means I don't have to pull him out of the cot.

[ShutUpLegs]

We cracked at 5 months with DD2 and used this. I felt more comfortable with than more traditional CC methods - although I wouldn't call this CC per se either. (Caveat - this was 6 years ago!)

You do what you need to do imo. And this method didn't leave any of us traumatised.

[ShutUpLegs]

SOrry - it is a form of CC but not CIO. I worded that porevious post badly.

[puft]

I really feel for you, sorry. Cc is brutal and despite what they say I'm sure it doesn't work for all children. 5 months is still v young, I'd be inclined to do whatever you can to get yourself some rest, if that means bringing him into bed at least you're comfortable for 45 minutes and can sleep as soon as he does.
Good luck, I hope it passes soon.
Do you have a partner or parents or anyone you can ask to take him out for a few hours during the day so you can rest?

[Zaurak]

I live abroad. No friends here, no family and dh is away (again) for work.

I don't think I can do cc. I have memories of being left alone to cry at night as a child and I still have sleep issues.

I'm now so wound up even when he falls asleep I can't sleep because I'm so on edge waiting for him to wake. I haven't slept for three days and I feel very bad.

[FraterculaArctica]

Posted on your other thread. I also had the terrible insomnia and the no sleep for 3 days. I don't know what postnatal mental health support is like where you are but you might be able to get some help from that area for your own sleep. I took amitryptiline from when DS was 10 weeks old to treat my insomnia. It didn't help his sleep problems but at least it meant I could sleep when he did (if only in 1 hour bursts). Do PM me if you want.

[ChasingPavements]

I did a gentle method of CC when DD was 5 months old. I was absolutely exhausted and at my wits' end, I just couldn't have gone on with it - something was going to break and I was genuinely scared. It took 3 days and it worked. It was almost like she needed to learn how to get herself to sleep. I don't regret it at all. DD is now a fully functionally, emotionally intelligent child of 9 years old. I didn't break her, I didn't do her any long-lasting damage. But I did give myself the chance to get some much needed sleep.

[Buckinbronco]

It probably won't work for you now. We had the same thing- punching himself in the head and smacking his head against the cot. They can't be left doing that.

However we did it 4 months later (sorry!) and it worked a treat.

Can you bring him into bed with you? If he wants cuddles that could solve your problems

[jazzandh]

At one point my DS2 used to hit his head against the mattress as an attempt to get to sleep.

Eventually I twigged that he really wanted to sleep on his front - he hated being on his back..and he was much more settled once I turned him over.

[Gracey79]

If it's every 45 mins I know people say it's sleep cycle but it really could be teeth, I would try powder or calpol and see if you at least get a longer stretch

[puft]

I think it's really important that you take it easy on yourself. Do whatever makes your baby comfy and doesn't stress you out in the short term. You can always try sleep training again in a week or two weeks or two months but don't persevere with something that is making you miserable.

[Purpleboa]

That sounds awful. You have my absolute heart felt sympathy OP. I feel for you so much.

Agree with puft. When we are this tired, it's hard not to stress about it all and what we should be doing. I too have been stressing about whether to do CC. And it doesn't help that there's a plethora of opinions out there, for and against!

I think go with your gut instinct on this one. My DD is 8 months and I still don't feel the time is right for sleep training. She's progressing so fast, I think things are still very new and scary for her. I think if we're still here at 10 months (I go back to work when she's 11 months) I'll reconsider. God it's so hard though.

I'm worried about how desperate you sound though, and the fact you've mentioned suicidal thoughts. Could you possibly hire a nanny for just a day a week or a morning? Just so you can get some sleep? Please reach out to your health visitor and GP and be honest about how you are feeling. I was put in touch with a lot of services when I told them how bad it was, and am getting counselling to help me deal with it all.

and kind thoughts for you. This WILL pass, even if it doesn't feel like it...

[dinodiva]

My DD (5.5 months) is doing exactly the same thing so I'm cosleeping. It's not something I ever wanted to do, but she falls fast asleep as soon as she's in bed next to me and it got to the point when we both just needed to sleep.

I'm happy to do just what works for now. She's going to bed every night in her cot so I hope at some point she'll sleep in it for longer than 45 minutes.

[Zaurak]

I honestly wouldn't know how to hire a nanny here and it'd be prohibitive cost wise.

It'll get better once dh is back (early hours of Saturday if on time)

I feel like such a failure. I don't have to work for a year, just look after a baby. Literally billions of women manage just fine.

[puft]

Oh honestly you are anything but a failure!
For most people parenting a baby is hard work and your emotions are all over the shop (or mine were at least). And when you're not getting any sleep and you have a screamer it's really hard going.
But the important thing is it's just for now. It'll pass.
Look after yourself

[ChasingPavements]

You are not a failure Zaurak. You are a knackered mother, who is completely sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason you know!

Be kind to yourself - I really hope that you manage to get some rest to recharge your batteries a little.

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

Maybe consider a sleep consultant - though most won't do anything until 6 months - most UK based ones work via email/phone/Skype so being abroad shouldn't matter. (PM me if you want me to dig out the approach we were given...)

My first DS slept in 45 minutes chunks for the first 8 months of his life , I feel your pain, frustration, dreading the next wake up and next nap time - ended up with PND after all that which I fully attribute to the sleep related stress...despite feeling like hell I found walking and fresh air made me feel a bit more human and keeping up a routine of baby classes / coffee with friends etc.