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Think I must be doing something wrong?

(10 Posts)
ParisGellar Thu 03-Mar-16 11:55:13

DS is 9 months. Ebf as well as 3 good sized mashed meals a day plus a snack. He wakes between 7-8am. He has a bf, then porridge. We play for a bit then he naps between 10-11 (depending what time he's woken up) for two hours. Then lunch, another 3 hours of play then another nap, usually about 1 hour. He wakes about 3-4ish. Then we play, he has dinner at 5ish, a bath about 7ish, books and bf to sleep. There's a few more bfs in the day but not at set times, just on demand. This routine gets him to sleep by about 9pm. He won't go asleep til that time. The trouble is, lately he's been up every 1-2 hours over night. He naps for longer in the day than he has chunks of sleep overnight and I don't understand why. Only boob settles him. Can anyone take a look at our routine and please let me know if I'm doing something wrong? He wakes and is crying, not just fussing. We've given calpol as I thought it was his teeth but doesn't seem to help. He feeds to sleep downstairs while TV is on low and lights off, should I be upstairs in quiet and dark of a night? Try moving bath time etc earlier? I'm scared of him going to bed earlier than me and I miss that first initial chunk of sleep and I have a really awful disturbed night although I'm having those already so I don't know what I'm worried about. He sleeps in a sleepyhead in the chicco next to me side car cot. Thanks for your help

ParisGellar Thu 03-Mar-16 11:55:38

SO sorry for wall of text. Note to self: paragraphs are your friend...

tinymeteor Thu 03-Mar-16 23:40:18

First of all, you're not doing anything wrong, there is no one right answer on this stuff. Sounds like you have a nice routine going.

Night waking at that age is normal, and there may be some separation anxiety going on. All you can do is offer gentle comfort while helping him learn to self settle. I'd focus on building some new bedtime routines that take you towards where you want to end up. Some would say you have to break the feed-to-sleep habit but personally I think that gets overstated. It's more about introducing some other sleep cues so the feeding isn't his only sleep association. I'd stay upstairs after bath time, read familiar stories, talk about your day, say good night to teddies, whatever suits you. Just make it consistent and do it in the room he sleeps in.

It won't change overnight (as it were), especially at 9 months when they are developing at lightning speed, but over time it will all add up. Good luck

Purpleboa Fri 04-Mar-16 07:10:14

No advice sorry! Your situation sounds similar to mine, as does your routine. My 8 month DD (ebf too) also wakes a lot during the night. She's going through a lot of developmental changes and teething. I've tried moving bedtime earlier, increasing/dropping naps but made no difference!

I'm going to start keeping a food and sleep diary, but I think she's just going a stage. For you it could be the 9 month regression - apparently that's a pretty bad one. Not very reassuring sorry, but at least you know there's a reason for it and it will pass!

Good luck, it's so hard isn't it? You doubt everything you do but it really isn't you, it's just how our babies are...

ParisGellar Fri 04-Mar-16 19:32:59

Thanks tiny. I'm doing all I can not to show it but the waking makes me really angry, it's awful. I've downloaded a white noise app and used it last night and it seemed to go ok! Thanks for your help.

Hi purple, thanks for the solidarity! It is very hard. Poor ds is such a happy little soul and I'm getting annoyed with him for just needing some comfort over night :-(. This too shall pass eh?!

LovelyWeatherForDucks Sat 05-Mar-16 21:17:56

My almost 8 month old has similar nights a few times a week...I now suspect it's due to windy/uncomfy tummy/constipation....maybe from lying still for all that time or the frequent feeds...anyway I have been making sure he has plenty of water in the day and something like prunes each day to keep everything moving, and it seems to be improving things.

Nan0second Sun 06-Mar-16 17:52:05

If this is every night, it's likely that baby has developed an object permanence issue (which is a normal developmental stage). This means that when they awake at the end of each sleep cycle, they don't like it if things are not exactly the same as when they went to sleep.

I found this link really helpful in explaining things:

Anyway if you want to teach baby to go to sleep in the cot and stay asleep then you could consider joining us on the "what worked for me" thread in sleep. Controlled crying would work quicker but this is an option that can really help in a short period of time.
If that's not helpful to you, feel free to ignore (but it's changed our lives here and my 9 month old now wakes 0-2 X a night instead of 6...)

ParisGellar Mon 07-Mar-16 16:17:44

It's been a lot better the last few nights. He's been waking 2-3 times and sometimes just wants cuddles not feeds. I have no interest in controlled crying/CIO methods. Thanks!

Nan0second Mon 07-Mar-16 19:01:01

Just to clarify that the thread is neither CC or CIO - realised on reading back that it sounded that way! X

ParisGellar Mon 07-Mar-16 20:15:41

Oh brill I'll bob over to the thread and see! Thanks x

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