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What the fuck is wrong with my baby?

(15 Posts)
SheilaTakeABow Fri 26-Feb-16 09:51:18

DS2 is nine months next week. He's never been a great sleeper, still waking a couple of times a night for feeding, and that's fine. He's a baby, I know plenty don't sleep, I'm not expecting miracles.

BUT... for the past week he's been going down at 7.30pm, waking for a feed about 11pm and then from midnight til 3am, all hell breaks loose. He screams in his cot, if he's picked up, if we stroke him. The only thing to settle him is a boob, even though he doesn't drink much. And then he wakes up yelling as soon as it's removed.

If we don't give him a boob, he screams blue murder. It actually seems like he's on something, buzzing is the word that comes to mind, manic. Last night DH sat doing PUPD, stroking him and shushing him for an hour in his cot and he still screamed til I got my boobs out. Once he was calm he crawled around our bed like a tranquilised bear before eventually collapsing in a stupor at 3am.

He can settle himself although is generally fed to sleep. He naps pretty well in the day, if we're in he'll do an hour and 45 minutes in his cot but i can't do this in the afternoons because of the school run. I try not to let him sleep past 4pm.

We have a consistent bedtime routine and he goes down fine. We're weaning and on three meals a day with breastfeeding on top.

He started crawling at the weekend, which I know affects sleep, but I thought once he'd mastered it he'd settle down. Still no teeth but has had all the signs for ages now.

Anyone have any words of wisdom? I feel sick with exhaustion, DH is brilliant but even when he gets up with him I can't sleep through the screaming. I know the boob addiction is probably part of the problem but he just won't settle without it.

DesertOrDessert Fri 26-Feb-16 16:41:36

The only way we got through this with DS1 was to make a "bed" from spare duvets and blankets on the floor next to his cot. He would calm down if I was dozing on his floor, with a hand through the cot bars. But he wasn't after boob, just company.

So, from what you've written, would boob as soon as he wakes, and then cot with you nearby work?

Good luck, hope you sort it soon. It's touture.

IHeartKingThistle Fri 26-Feb-16 16:46:07

It probably is the crawling. Being active is a lot to get used to for them!

Sounds horrible though. But you know, you are allowed to stop feeding him at night, he's old enough to do without. I stopped giving milk at night way before that. But feel free to ignore that if that's not the way you want to go!

WutheringFrights Fri 26-Feb-16 16:48:36

I stopped nightfeeds about this time and he stopped waking up in the night..eventually...
I tried sleeping in with him but apparently the fact that I snore so loudly I can wake myself up isn't so good for a sleeping baby...

madwomanbackintheattic Fri 26-Feb-16 16:52:48

Mine did that until I stopped bf. Every two hours or would go ballistic until he got what he wanted. As soon as he realised the milk tap had been turned off, he slept through. Two days after I went cold turkey. He was about 10.5 mos. I'm sure that ascribing intent and deliberate manipulation to get what you want to a 10 mo is bonkers, but that's what it felt like lol. In any case, once he realised that I had no intention of feeding him again he didn't bother to wake up and try it on... grin
<not suggesting you turn off the tap. Just relaying my experience>

SheilaTakeABow Fri 26-Feb-16 19:04:25

Thanks everyone. You're all right, the feeding is the main problem I feel and I'm happy, keen even, to stop night feeds, but DS has other ideas. He will literally scream until he gets it - an hour last night, and I'm so worried about disturbing DS1. And then even when he gets what he wants he still carries on like he's had five espressos.

Hmm, all we can do is keep trying I suppose. DS1 slept through by four, so only a few more years grin

RandomMess Fri 26-Feb-16 19:13:01

I would say the way to tackle is stop letting him to feed asleep at nap and bed time, just to stop that association. I just think at those times of day you are more able to cope with PUPD etc then you are at 3am or 2 hourly!!!

You may need to get DH to take time off to go through it so you literally can't feed him to sleep during the day and evening (but still at night so you all stay sane?).

Depends if you are happy to night feed for a long time to come etc.

Nan0second Fri 26-Feb-16 20:08:37

The only way things improved for us was to put down in the cot awake and teach to self settle. DD not a great sleeper but this meant 1-2 wake ups instead of 5-6!

Ringadingdingdong22 Fri 26-Feb-16 20:13:02

I bet there will be tooth appearing soon. DS2 is generally a good sleeper but a week or two before a new tooth arrives his sleep goes a bit haywire. Also the crawling and brain development can make them a bit wired at night. It'll probably settle down again soon. I would try and cut out the boob though, but appreciate at 3am you just want to get him and you back to sleep as quickly as possible.

Purpleboa Fri 26-Feb-16 22:54:50

Haven't a clue. My DD is just turned 8 months, started to crawl last week and her sleep is just a disaster. We don't even get that initial stretch anymore. I co sleep most of the night because it's the only way to get us some sleep, have done this for the past two months. It's all a fucking mess.

I can only wish that giving up night weaning was as easy for us as some posters suggest! My DD also screams the place down if boob isn't forthcoming. She's massively strong willed. As for self settling!! laughs maniacally

SheilaTakeABow Sat 27-Feb-16 09:45:24

Oh Purple, I do feel your pain. I know, I know, I know that night feeding is a massive part of the problem, but he simply will not settle without it, the screaming just escalates to the point where he's so hysterical he's either going to make himself sick or just never go back to sleep. There is so much pressure to breastfeed, and I'm glad I did as there have been so many advantages, but nobody tells you at the start how bloody difficult it will be to stop or even cut down - it's like baby crack.

We "gave in" last night and brought him in our bed at first wake up so I could immediately soothe him when he started getting het up - it worked in that we've all had some sleep, and he didn't have the massive three-hour party session, but he still woke with his "feed me" cry at 1am and up for the day at 5.30am.

And I know it'll get better, but bloody hell, it just feels like a constant regression at the moment

Didiusfalco Sat 27-Feb-16 09:52:43

Yes! Have a nearly 9 month old and having exactly the same problem with multiple waking and hitting the roof without breastfeeding. Just don't know how to cut back and keep my sanity. Not helped by the fact she doesn't want to eat food. Much sympathy to you sheila and purple (but no useful advice!)

dhanariya Wed 02-Mar-16 14:36:26

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HariboFrenzy Wed 02-Mar-16 21:52:20

I suspect it might be teeth. I've read somewhere that when they're in pain there is higher levels of adrenaline in their system which will disrupt sleep. The sucking motion of breastfeeding can relieve teething pain too.

We've been having a similar time since just after christmas as 5 teeth have come through in that time with more on the way plus a constant cold with an ear infection just for good measure hmm

By chance this week, he had his tea early at 4pm and then was asleep by 6.30. I woke him up at 11.30 as my boobs were lumpy and hard, then he slept through until 6am!!!!

I think he was going to bed too late, too close to his tea and I was giving him too much. Whether it's a fluke or because he's still ill, I don't know. But three nights so far touch wood

Sootica Wed 02-Mar-16 22:01:45

Oh dear god my Dd2 did this around 12 months and nearly sent me an early grave in the process. I think it's linked to over tiredness / big developmental jump but fuck me it was horrendous. It went away eventually (maybe a month? Sorry) and I have blocked out the period so don't know how/why/when it stopped. She would just SCREAM and NOTHING would comfort her.
You could still get medised then for babies so I resorted to that on a couple of occasions when I thought she might be screaming in pain and on occasion left her to cry while I rocked in a corner whimpering.

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