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Waking up screaming

(21 Posts)
wellsie Sun 23-May-04 15:07:18

DS is a bit of GF baby (don't hate me) but I'm finding that he is waking up screaming half way through his lunchtime nap and is very difficult to resettle, he sucks his thumb and is very good at going off to sleep, so why does he wake up in such a state - any suggestions??
Thanks

gothicmama Sun 23-May-04 15:18:32

It is possible he is having a day time version of night terrors or maybe just wakes himself up too quickly it is also possible he is having a bad dream - do not anything about GF except it is based on routine can you adjust his routine slightly and not settle him back down if it is difficult. maybe it is caused by too much lunch an dhe feels uncomfortable. Hope this ramble helps

gloworm Sun 23-May-04 16:36:32

our ds is waking up (half way through nap) crying at the moment. we lift him into the sofa, put a small blanket over him and he goes back to sleep for another hour. they seem to go through so many different phases.

wellsie Sun 23-May-04 16:55:05

Today I tried pushing him out in his pram to try and get him back off to sleep - no such luck, little monkey started crying again and then smiling so not sure what was bothering him, sometimes I feel like I don't understand him.
Also, once you go back in to resettle him it seems to make him worse and I know that if I brought him downstairs and lay him down he would be like he was in the pram.
Today the GF plan has gone out the window!!!

gothicmama Sun 23-May-04 17:02:18

Maybe he's not tired and needs some contact or stimulation not much help if you on GF or are you allowed to deviate a bit to allow for individual need of the baby.

wellsie Sun 23-May-04 20:20:14

I do change it a bit, especially on a Thursday when I have my postnatal group from 1-2pm. To be honest, although I'm glad of the advice I've got from GF, I wish I'd never started her routine. I feel like I'm stuck with it and worried that if I start doing things my way DS won't sleep through the night. In hindsight I think today might have been a little bit of tummyache.
Thanks for your advice, I'm desperately trying to be a bit more laid back about DS and sleep.

gothicmama Sun 23-May-04 20:37:09

Does he sleep ok at night - I would think that he does you could change day time routine a bit and see if it affect sleep it takes about 4-7 days for babies to learn new routine so if you tried something different for a couple of days it should not affect night time routine. I hope you manage to find a way to cope it is pos just a phase they have noe and then to worry us

wellsie Sun 23-May-04 20:50:46

He sleeps really well at night (touching lots of wood as I type!) Anything from between 10-13hrs, it's just I've got myself into this pattern in the day and it's like I'm addicted to it so when it all goes wrong I start freaking out. He went down fine tonight despite having a bad nap at lunchtime and nearly an hour this afternoon (which GF doesn't advocate) so I guess he'll sleep when he wants to, doesn't stop me stressing.
Thanks for your advice gothicmama

gothicmama Sun 23-May-04 20:52:51

That's ok I learnt from DD that I get attached to routines far more than she does

wellsie Sun 23-May-04 20:55:58

How true is that!!

bunnyrabbit Sun 23-May-04 22:27:36

Hi Wellsie,
This is a very common problem with the lunchtime nap. Does he wake up after about 45 mins? I had this problem too, and still do occasionally when we've been out of the pattern for a couple of days....

There is something about in in CLB,it's to do with sleep cycles. Babies enter a lighter sleep after about 45 mins. Some just turn over and go back to sleep, some (e.g. my angel) wake up and have to resettle themselves. There are many other threads on this subject here's one of them.

I find that if I leave him he will resettle unless he is teething or has a cold,in which case he finds it difficult to go back to sleep.. a bit like us really!!

BR

bunnyrabbit Mon 24-May-04 10:49:22

Oh and I also find that as long as he has the correct amount of sleep during the day, it really doesn't matter how/when he sleeps, he still sleeps well at night. So the extended afternoon nap will sort of balance out the short lunchtime nap.

I found I could play with the times quite a bit, so don't feel to restricted. Just try out some variations and if they don't work, go back to the book for a few days.

BR

wellsie Mon 24-May-04 11:01:11

Thanks Bunnyrabbit, will see how today goes.

nanette Tue 25-May-04 03:47:18

Wellsie...I read your message and felt relieved that I am not alone in my quest for dd's afternoon nap. I am hooked on GF routine and feel helpless when dd doesn't sleep on schedule. dd wakes up after only 1 hour. She can't settle herself and wakes up screaming but yet sleeps great at night. Just last night, I placed a piece of wood over her window to block out any light (the only part of the GF routine that I did not follow). She slept from 5:45 p.m. (because of the short nap she was exhausted and had to be put down early) until 7:10 and slept for 1h30 in the afternoon(some progress). Perhaps blocking out the light might help.

inkstigmata Tue 25-May-04 08:51:43

bunnyrabbit already linked the topic where I mentioned the exact same problem. It seems to be a lot more common than the CLBB implies. These days my dd2 who is 10 weeks will still wake up but just grumble on and off and often go back to sleep. Even if she gets only 1 hour at lunchtime I still find that the rest of the day and bedtime is fine as long as she fits in an extra catnap (can be no more than 15 mins) on the floor between 3 and 4. Worrying that it would throw the rest of the day out proved unfounded for us.

With dd1 it also took at least 2 months longer for her to take the lunchtime nap in full, long after she was doing everything else according to GF routines.

strangerthanfiction Tue 25-May-04 12:00:44

wellsie I think there's a bit of a problem in following a schedule like GF too obsessively. Some babies just do do things a bit differently and the key is to go with them as much as possible. I'm not really for or against GF and read her with a lot of interest when dd was smaller (now 19 months) and took up a lot of her ideas. But dd never at that age did a short morning nap and a long afternoon one, she did 3 45 min naps and a good 12 hour night and that suited her. She was always tired after about 3 hours awake so it wasn't worth pushing it. Gradually she dropped the 3rd nap at around 8 or 9 months (later than GF suggests I think) and her 2 naps both got longer, about 1.5 hours each then I cut the morning one and it was hell for a while but she now sleeps 2 hours in the afternoon. All this time none of the changes in her naps affected her nighttime sleep. If you can, and I know it's easier said than done if you're someone who likes to be 'in control', relax about it and follow what your ds seems to need. Sometimes a good 45 min. nap is more refreshing than a heavy or restless 1.5 hours.

wellsie Tue 25-May-04 13:32:15

Thanks everyone, I really do feel like I'm trapped with GF, perhaps it's because I haven't a clue when it comes to babies that I put my trust in books. Today's lunchtime nap is all over the place at the mo. We went out this morning so he fell asleep in the pram on the way back home, trouble is he then woke up as soon as I got him in the house. Decided to put him on his play mat and he was happy for 20mins then started crying so have now taken him to bed where, after 15mins, he is now asleep. Not sure how long he'll sleep for as he was not happy when he went to bed so this normally means screaming in 30mins!
I give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

strangerthanfiction Wed 26-May-04 11:39:06

wellsie, I'm exactly the same really re. books. Dd is my first, I have a tiny family and no friends with kids so hadn't ever even held a baby before dd was born. I read anything and everything and post on mumsnet far too much! But now I'm a bit further down the line with things I am learning to relax a bit more and think I just can't understand and / or control things. I used to fret about sleep and naps just like you're doing and it is harder when they're smaller as when they're tired they'll cry whereas it's easier to stretch them out a bit with distractions when they're a bit older.

Keep us posted!

eclaire Thu 27-May-04 03:19:56

Hi,
How old is your DS? My ds is nearly 6 months and still some days has only 1hr sleep at lunchtime but seems to cope with this and still goes to bed at 7pm easily. Other days he will have 2hrs to 1.5hrs (probably once/twice a week) and that has just been happening last couple of weeks.
He seems to need less sleep then she recommends which at the start use to stress me a little as my Dd is the opposite and needed more sleep so I was expecting him to sleep more not less.
I found that I would give him a little extra nap in the afternoon and that was till he was about 4 months or so and then he didn't want a nap at all.

Some things I found out along the way is that he has lots of wind some days and burping him before putting to bed helped ( I think that causes him to wake screaming sometimes when he was little and lots of times he has some wind before I settle him to bed), taking him out to the park for a swing and slide with his big sister or to the shops after his morning nap helps so he gets some fresh air. The days we wakes early I just pick him up on my shoulder for a little cuddle for 1/2hr before his 2pm feed and let him rest there for a bit. Also it seems he easily handles being up for 2.5 - 3hrs and not be tired despite what a few books indicate. I put him down at 12.30pm since about 4 months so that he would at least have a sleep of 1hr 12.30 - 1.30 and thats all he needed as he easily lasts till 12.30 and doesn't give the tired signs.

I have been using GF loosily to for both my children and my DD needed more sleep then she said and use to have 1.5hrs am, 2.5hrs pm and 1hr late pm until she was 6months and still slept from 7.30 till 6.30am. Then at 6 mths she still had about 3.5 - 4hrs sleep per day broken up to a morning and afternon sleep and slept all night.
I found that dd was giving the tired signs way earlier and couldn't last out till what GF said she should stay up to so I would put her to bed. Maybe this is the case for you as if they get overtired then they will also sleep shorter sleeps as well.

The best thing is to follow her ideas but not get to stuck on them instead have a plan I like to follow of feed/play and wake routine which is very similiar to her ideas. Also going out a few mornings a week to playgroups etc but not all the time so they don't get overtired is fine as long as they catch up the sleep at other days. We all go to playcentre 2 mornings a week and Ds some days will end up not sleeping there and only sleep 1hr (at lunchtime) all day and not be crabby about that even though I know dd would have been.

Also a book healthly sleep habits, happy child I read early on indicated that 1hr sleep 3x a day is fine until 9 months and then shouldn't have a late pm sleep after 9months. Also it indicated that 5months onwards is when that children will start to develop good naptimes in the aftenoon and between 3-4months they develop a morning nap.Anyway it has some good ideas and you might find it helpful to read. Hope that helps sorry about the rambling!!

wellsie Thu 27-May-04 19:26:51

Hi all
DS woke up screaming yesterday & today but I think I know why - He's dreaming! He makes these funny "ohhh" noises whilst asleep and then this develops into a cry and then a scream. I watched him and his eyes are closed the whole time. I left him to settle himself - took 15mins, which I felt pretty bad about. Do you think I should have rescued him from his nightmare or am I right to let him work it out??
Thanks
Wellsie

gothicmama Thu 27-May-04 19:27:56

Best to let him work it out dreams can help the mind work things out

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