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Is this happening to anyone else and what to do I?!

(4 Posts)
Jessjane123 Tue 09-Feb-16 09:23:15

My baby has just turned 4 months this week and for the last 5 weeks his sleeping is TERRIBLE. A good night he wake at 12.00, 1.30,3.30,4.30,5.30 and up for the day at 6.30. On a bad night it's every 45 mins! He will sometimes self settle but most often I feed him back to sleep. Usually he has two proper night feeds and the rest is just a very quick snack. If I don't do this he simply won't go back to sleep!

He goes down brilliantly at 6.30. Self settles and sleeps really well till 12.00 ish. He is a very big baby (in 6-9 month clothes) and exclusively breast fed.
He naps every two hours for 30 min in the day (2hrs total in a day) but never more. If I want him to have a longer nap it has to be on me and I have to shove my boob in his mother the moment his begins to wake!!

He has had a bit of a cold- could it be this? But 5 weeks seems a long time.
He has red hot cheeks and very dribbly and chewy- could he be teathing?
Is he hungry by 12.00 but too tired to take a full feed late at night?
Is he ready for weaning? Can hold head and control hands.
Does he need me to resettle him? But he can do this, so why only sometimes?
Is it just a phase and I just have to wait?

Please help or at least tell me I am not alone and it will get better?!
I hid behind the garden shed yesterday and had a good cry, it's soooooooooooooo exhausting.

Ps should have said in these 5 weeks we have about 4 amazing blissful heavenly nights where he has woken only once but they feel like a distant memory now!

MrsH1989 Tue 09-Feb-16 10:30:35

There is a growth spurt at 4 months that generally results in sleep regression and cluster feeding. It will pass flowers

Cathster Tue 09-Feb-16 11:37:43

There are a lot of other users on the Sleep board going through the same thing - myself included. You'll see at least 3 other threads on the front page with similar experiences!

My DD has been doing this since 14 weeks, she is 20 weeks this week.

It IS getting better. Last night she was waking every 1.5-2 hours whereas a few days ago it was every 20-45 minutes.

The following helped -

- throwing out all attempts to put her down awake while she's going through this. I appreciate this isn't practical for everyone but I knew she needed her sleep and wasn't going to get it if I tried to teach her to self soothe. I'll sleep train her in a month or so. She used to occasionally be able to self soothe but can't at all at the moment. We will get back to it.
- reading up on Wonder Week 19. It describes her perfectly and has made me feel a lot less alone, understand I'm not doing anything wrong and that it will pass.
- feeding her if she wanted it. They do go through a big growth spurt at 4 months as well. Last week she was downing 7oz bottles every 2-3 hours. She's still having night feeds but not as many and taking less so think she's past that.

Does he take a dummy? That avoids us having to constantly feed her/rock her back to sleep.

You could try feeding more frequently in the day. That doesn't work for us but might help him go a bit longer at night.

I've been assured it will pass and it is just a phase - just hope it doesn't go on too much longer for you either! flowers

FATEdestiny Tue 09-Feb-16 12:22:01

He naps every two hours for 30 min in the day

Do you mean 2h awake, 30m sleep, 2h awake, 30m sleep... etc?
Or do you mean 90m awake, 30m sleep, 90m awake, 30m sleep... etc?

At 4 months old I would expect 60-80 minutes awake time between naps (which may well be short, 30-45m is normal at this age) to avoid over-tiredness. Generally not having enough sleep over the course of 24 hours could be a cause of unsettled nights. So you could try getting baby to sleep sooner in the daytime, less awake time between one nap and the next.

He goes down brilliantly at 6.30

What is currently happening at bedtime?

What happens to get baby to sleep a naptime?

Please help or at least tell me I am not alone and it will get better?!

Cold - 5w ongoing is too long for this to be down to a cold.
Teething - You cant medicate open-endedly. The teeth actually cutting through causes the significant distress.
Hunger - he could be. Try feeding very frequently through the daytime to calorie load. He could like sucking - try a dummy?
Weaning - Far too soon.
Settling - Always a good thing to get into the habit of trying to resettle
Phase - Life is a series of phases. We have to change to accommodate these changing needs.

You are not alone that sleep changes completely at 3 to 4 months old. This is a physiological change. Baby's calorific need significantly increase. In my experience I was feeding 25% more than the newborn phase.

Also sleep changes significantly. It stops being passive and becomes active. In the 3 months baby's sleep is like in the womb, a passive state. If all needs are met baby will sleep and baby will wake when a need (food, nappy etc) is not met. Sleep requires no thought or work, it is the default.

From 3-4 months old baby's sleep matures. It develops into cycles (similar to an adults sleep) with periods of deep sleep, light sleep and sometimes 'environment check' brief wakes between sleep cycles. Sleep is no lonher passive - it requires active work for baby to get to sleep and for baby to stay asleep during the lighter sleeping phases in the cycle.

Previously, the concept of "getting to sleep" was unknown to baby. Now starts the hard work. Developing ways of helping baby sleep can become all-consuming for a while.

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