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What do you do when baby won't settle in their cot or in arms?

(14 Posts)
FankEweVeryMuch Mon 08-Feb-16 21:27:16

Hello,

We're having a big of a nightmare here. My 4 month old will settle in his cot once at around 7pm. If he wakes or gets disturbed (it was my H rushing around trying to go to football this evening). He won't settle back in his cot or in my arms if I pick him up. He's exhausted and desperate to sleep and I just don't know what to do.

I've had to walk off for five minutes because I've been trying for an hour and a half now and I'm stressed out. Bringing him downstairs doesn't work, he cries, because he just needs to SLEEP.

Does anyone know of anything to help?

ThirtyNineWeeks Mon 08-Feb-16 21:30:00

The Sleepyhead has been our lifesaver. Amazon.

NoCapes Mon 08-Feb-16 21:30:57

Have you fed him?
My 3 month old is the same, if he's woken up within the first 30 mins or so after falling asleep he becomes the amazing unsettlable baby
A little top up feed usually does the trick eventually
Or if not just leave him, if he's not too upset just grumpy and unsettled I just leave him to thrash around his cot sometimes and he'll nod off by himself, or at least tire himself out enough to sleep soon after he's picked up

Yarpyarp Mon 08-Feb-16 21:33:40

Have this trouble too and usually resort to feeding..

LonerDave Mon 08-Feb-16 21:36:24

What times are you feeding ?

Google the 2-3-4 routine, worked WONDERS for me.

There are no miracles, however .... only 4months old is still very little, time & maturity helps with all of it.

Go through all the motions in your head, hunger? (Growth spurt & sleep regression at this age!) nappy? Cold/hot? ... Also try some white noise, this also worked wonders & one last thing .... You're doing a mighty fine job!

nottheop Mon 08-Feb-16 21:40:07

2-3-4 is usually from 6/7 months onwards, they tend to need more daytime sleep than that.

what's your daytime routine like? How to you settle to sleep at bedtime?

FankEweVeryMuch Mon 08-Feb-16 21:40:28

He has a sleepyhead which works like a dream if he sleeps. Thanks though, I recommend them to people too.

nocapes he seems to have stopped feeding to sleep but I did feed him just in case but it didn't work.

Thank you both for the suggestions though.

He's DC4 and they've all thrown up various sleep issues but the not being able to be rocked to sleep aspect of this little one is challenging. If he stays asleep though he is a good sleeper.

nottheop Mon 08-Feb-16 21:46:10

When my dc was 4 months, I put him down after milk and a cuddle. I'd leave him for 5 minutes then go back in and rub his bum (tummy sleeper), put the dummy back in and back out and he'd generally fall asleep then. He would take hours if I was cuddling him.

By 5 months I put him down and he went to sleep.

FankEweVeryMuch Mon 08-Feb-16 21:50:16

Sorry cross posted with a few posters.

Our very loose routine is-

He wakes around 8am, feed,
8.40 school run, nap, feed and awake time,
11.30 nursery run, nap, feed, awake
15.15 school run, nap, feed awake until evening.
I usually try and put him down around 6.30-7pm.

It's less ridged than that and he just feeds on demand really but usually straight after a nap.

He's wide awake now, he's like me and gets wired when overtired! He did just do a big vom all over my bed (where we are now lying together, calmly)

I'll google the 2-3-4 as that might be an idea for when he's a bit bigger.

Thanks for the support.

FankEweVeryMuch Mon 08-Feb-16 21:53:16

Forgot to say, at bedtime we come in my room, din lights. Put him into his sleeping bag, into the cot with his dummy and a muslin to fiddle with. He'll fall asleep beautifully but if he gets disturbed then that's when the trouble starts as he won't settle like he does initially.

HoneyHololulu Mon 08-Feb-16 22:24:10

Have you got a sling? The only thing GUARANTEED to get my ds off to sleep is the sling.

FifiFerusha Mon 08-Feb-16 22:54:08

Ditto white noise. .and how does he settles at bedtime? Possibly repeat bedtime routine for a while to re set him. Play gentle lullabys to distract him from being upset and eventually he may not wake up. Could he still be windy from bedtime feed?

It seems like picking him though might be disturbing him. Just a thought. .could you try shhh pat?

FATEdestiny Tue 09-Feb-16 14:29:35

8.40 school run, nap, feed and awake time,
11.30 nursery run, nap, feed, awake
15.15 school run, nap, feed awake until evening.
I usually try and put him down around 6.30-7pm.

I've got four children too. Love a busy household.

I don't think that would be enough daytime sleep for mine. Does depend on nights sleep though - is baby sleeping 6.30pm-8am without much awake time? That would explain less daytime sleeping since mind have usually had about 11-12h night time sleep (with one or two night feeds at this age).

I usually try for 60-80 mins awake time between naps. But manipulate this some-what to fit in with school runs. My youngest has never liked sleeping in pram/pushchair/carseat, so needs to be awake for the school runs.

Given your school/nursery timings, I would be trying to fit in extra naps

Nighttime - 8.00
9.00 - 9.45 (down to sleep as soon as we are back from school)
10.45 - 11.30 (woken for nursery run)
12.45 - 13.30
14.30 - 15.15 (woken for school run)
16.30 - 17.15
19.00 - Nighttime

These are not exact times, give or take times. My DD might have woken after 30 minutes rather than 45, or stayed awake for more like 75 mins rather than 60 mins. But I would have been aiming for more like 4 or 5 naps a day, 3 wouldn't have been enough.

ThirtyNineWeeks Tue 09-Feb-16 21:31:20

3 naps a day is perfect, but the longest nap (2.5 hrs) should be between 11.45 and 2.15. Afternoon nap from 4.15 - 5.00 and bed at 7.

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