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Completely confused. Don't know what to do!

(3 Posts)
Toomanyhyphons Tue 02-Feb-16 19:54:35

Ok this is going to be full of questions but I'm hoping that there is a magical answer and solution that doesn't involve winning the lottery or becoming a hermit!
DS2 is now 21 weeks. She's had horrendous reflux, been hospitalised with it and also has CMPI. It's all under control now but I think largely due to this she has never fallen into a steady sleeping pattern or even one that's kind of similar give or take the odd hour/half hour as for the first 4 months of her life she was terribly unsettled and we had to comfort her because of that and also so she didn't wake DS1. Some days now she naps really well, 1 1/2 to 2 hours twice in the day. Others she only naps for 30 mins 3 times or once a day. Some nights she gets up at 12am for a feed then back up at 4am or 5am. Some nights she will only get up at 1:30am then sleep till 8am or get up at 4/5am and sleep again till 8/9am. The only constant with her is she's exhausted by 7/8pm and goes straight down to sleep at that time. We always have the same nighttime routine of bath 6-6:30 then bed between 7-8pm and it just depends how her feeding has been if she gets a bottle just before or after her bath. Through the day I work at different times as I teach classes and she has to go to a crèche this is a Monday at 9:30 straight from the school run for an hour then a Tuesday at 12:30 for about an hour. We leave the house at 8:45am and 11:45am respectively for these classes which I think does interfere with her napping but I have to work and the crèche is my only childcare option! I read the sensational baby sleep plan which seems amazing but not something I can fit in as you need to spend a week at least at home getting it all in place and she reccomends you putting baby in their own room which again for me isn't something that fits as she will be sharing with DS1 who is 5 and has school so can't risk her being woken up through the night. She says if baby will be sharing a room to get the older child to stay elsewhere for a few days but that's not something I'm able to do either. I really don't see what else I can do short of becoming a hermit and not working, staying home so she can nap or winning the lottery and buying a bigger house with more bedrooms. Does anybody have any suggestions as to how I can get DS2 into a routine and sleeping through the night? Or at least just getting up once at roughly the same time through the night? I'm honestly to the end of my tether. I'm so frustrated that I can't make this work and I'm beginning to feel like she'll always be in the room not sleeping properly with me and DH. Please help! Oh and I've tried a dream feed but she either took it and then woke again later for another feed anyway or wouldn't take it and then would wake through the night once or twice again for feeds.

FATEdestiny Tue 02-Feb-16 21:00:53

If you want a routine, then just start routining and structuring your day and her sleep.

This is best done by following baby's lead, but there are some baby-led ways you can add structure and routine to your day. You could try EASY, which is a repeated pattern of events, repeated throughout the day.

E- Eat (full feed)
A - Awake/activity - at this age I would expect awake time of 60-80 minutes
S - Sleep (short naps are fine. Also fine if baby can manage to sleep longer)
Y - You time while baby sleeps

then baby wakes and you feed again and restart another EASY cycle. And so on...

By following EASY you can begin to predict when sleeps will be and as such manipulate them according to your day (for example make sleeps slightly earlier or later through the day) to allow for the creche visit.

Toomanyhyphons Mon 08-Feb-16 22:10:01

I've been doing this and the Alison Scott Wright method kind of mixed together and everything's going pretty well. I know have a baby that naps in the day and sleeps through the night. Hopefully I've cracked it!

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