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Too exhausted to have more DC?

(7 Posts)
FeelToBeFree Thu 28-Jan-16 21:13:10

I always dreamt of a family of four, but I can't take the sleep depreciation.

I have a six month old and a 2.5 year old. The eldest sleeps through perhaps once a week. Currently the baby is sick so I haven't had a block of sleep more than 2 hours long in a fortnight, and even that isn't a given.

If I get five hours total a night I think I am doing well.

I haven't slept properly for nearly three years. I feel like I am losing my mind with exhaustion. I can't remember anything, I cry at everything. I have no energy to exercise or socialise.

I adore my children and feel so so lucky to have them, but I don't think I can do this again.

I would love to have more children but I couldn't cope with another baby, and that makes me so sad.

Has anyone else felt like this? I feel like such a failure.

FeelToBeFree Thu 28-Jan-16 21:13:54

Sleep deprivation not depreciation...

Thebookswereherfriends Thu 28-Jan-16 21:17:04

How old are you? If you want more children why not just leave a bigger gap between now and the next one? The little ones you have now will probably sleep eventually, but certainly it could be another 18 months before your youngest is sleeping well.
I only have one, she's 3 yrs and I would like another, but will wait until she's nearly at school, then I'll have chunks of the day when I only have one child at a time to cope with.

FATEdestiny Thu 28-Jan-16 22:00:31

Bigger age gaps might be your answer.

My plan was always to have two babies close together (a year apart), wait 5 years and then have another two babies a year apart. Two pairs of children.

Age gap between DC1 and DC2 was 14 months, as planned. I swiftly realised how damn hard work short age gaps were.

DC3 came along 4 years later and that was a nice age gap - one at school and one at nursery every morning. No chance I would put myself through two toddlers again.

DC4 was 5 years late and it has been lovely - all other 3 are at school so can focus on baby all day and nap when I need to.

FeelToBeFree Thu 28-Jan-16 22:08:19

You might be right, but I am not sure time is on our side. I am 35 and DH is 46, he is already worried about being too old, I think if I wait four years he'll have a point...

Also there is a part of me that worries once I am out of this stage I will be too relieved to go back to it.

But I think it ten years time I will look back and regret only having two.

Not that I am over thinking or anything...

ThomasRichard Thu 28-Jan-16 22:11:54

I wanted 4 but I've stopped at 2. I've found that I really don't like the relentlessness of the baby/toddler/pre-school stage and now that my younger one is coming to the end of it (3) I can't imagine putting myself through that again.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 28-Jan-16 22:13:02

Give it another year - a 6mo is so tiring!

We just have 2 dc and Dh was 48 when dd2 was born. He found it so tiring and is still tired now they are 2 and 4. I am 10 years younger than him and not so knackered. We couldn't consider any more dc. age is definitely a factor.

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