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should I start teaching my 12 week old to self settle?

(11 Posts)
nicg85 Mon 25-Jan-16 20:53:07

From birth she has always relied on me to get her to sleep. Up to being 10 weeks old she would fall asleep on the boob. For the last few weeks she has still being awake after her feed so I rock her to sleep and then put her down. This is the same for all daytime naps and night time.
Do you think now is a good time to start teaching her to self settle?
If so any tips on what worked well for you?

Muskateersmummy Mon 25-Jan-16 20:54:04

She's still very tiny. Enjoy sleepy cuddles xx

cheerfullysleepless Mon 25-Jan-16 20:54:42

Watching this as in same boat...

Fruityflapjack Mon 25-Jan-16 20:59:58

I used to sit next to her, hand on her chest whilst she went to sleep. Over time I withdrew the hand and then gradually withdrew me. After a few weeks I could pop her down and leave and away she would go to sleep on her own.

I needed to have me back, for my sanity, so it was quite important for me to get her to settle without needing me. If your happy with her falling asleep on you etc then carry on for as long as you feel it's right for you guys.

Good luck either way smile

nicg85 Mon 25-Jan-16 21:01:55

I'm quite happy to carry on doing what I'm doing but HV came on Friday and said I should start now.
Do some babies start self settling without actually being taught?
My friend said she never taught her dd she just started going to sleep on her own when she went in her cot at 7 months.

nicg85 Mon 25-Jan-16 21:04:44

Thanks Fruity. Don't get me wrong it would be nice to just put her down awake and then I could get more jobs done! It would also reduce my back ache not rocking her to sleep all the time confused

Muskateersmummy Mon 25-Jan-16 21:06:28

I think they do learn to do it in their own time. My dd settles herself off at bedtime. (Doesn't in the middle of the night but that's a different story! ) xx

Fruityflapjack Mon 25-Jan-16 21:08:52

There is the 4th trimester theory which helped me to get my head around this kind of thing. The magic 12 week thing is a bit of a turning point I believe so yes, in that respect if helping your child to self settle is something you want to do, now is OK to do so I think.

I don't know about babies self settling. My DD did very well at night time from pretty much day one. Day time naps were another thing entirely! I think though that this gave me the confidence in her, I knew that she could do it IYSWIM?

Often she would be crying because she was actually over tired and over stimulated and me rocking her was actually counter whole hand on tummy thing came about during one particularly trying day when I knew she needed to nap but all my previous successful tricks weren't working. I just lay her on our bed next to me because I was at such a loss and cuddling made her cry even harder. I placed my hand on her tummy and she seemed to calm and eventually stopped crying and went to sleep. I tried it again the next nap time and it worked!

Fruityflapjack Mon 25-Jan-16 21:10:24

Oh OP, I know exactly what you mean about wanting a bit of time. Babies are fantabulous, but Lordy, it is nice to be unencumbered for half an hour!

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Mon 25-Jan-16 21:11:40

HVs are idiots about this stuff IME. They feel they have to suggest 'something' otherwise they aren't doing their job. Whereas what they should say is 'you are going a great job, carry on' and then leave.

I wouldn't have left either of mine to settle themselves so young.

Pyjamaramadrama Tue 26-Jan-16 09:48:11

I don't think it hurts to try but it may well not work and too young to do cc or anything.

You could certainly start a bit of a bedtime routine, bath and feed has worked wonders for both of mine for getting them down at night it took time but eventually they seemed associate this little routine with sleep.

Ime if you want the baby to sleep without you they need another comforter such as a dummy, their thumb or a teddy.

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