At the end of my tether, please help

(16 Posts)
Mrsbrightside123 Tue 19-Jan-16 12:07:48

I really need advice, tips, stories ANYTHING to even just show me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel ready to just run away sad

My baby is 6 months old
Severe silent reflux diagnosed st 2 months
Managed with infant gaviscon and omeprazole
Teething really badly for three weeks but no teeth
Had his first cold two weeks ago

He's never been a great sleeper, but prior to the cold and teething he was down at seven, up at one for 4oz then back up at 5 - and I'd try resettle him till 6.

Now he's had his bath, massage and story by half six, yawning and rubbing his eyes and has 5oz. He goes into his cot, has his dummy and snuggles his rabbit and falls asleep. Then wakes ten minutes later screaming blue murder. When we get him down its for an hour at a time if we are lucky, and he's wide awake talking and smiling when he wakes. I'm exhausted and dint know what to do.

I need to change his nappy twice per night or he wets through, no matter what bloody brand I try so that wakes him up even more. His day time naps used to be great but now it's 40 mins at a push twice a day.

I've got a mobile, star light show, white noise, room temp monitor, grobags, and I literally do not know what else to do. We even put him in his own room but it's made no difference.
Please god someone help before I end up hiding in a cupboard and crying and crying

Shadow1986 Tue 19-Jan-16 12:12:48

I recently heard it's a good idea to give their bottle before bath, and put them down awake when they are at the rubbing eye stage after bath...this stops them associating being full and sucking on a bottle to get sleepy. It would also help give milk chance to settle before lying down which I know can be a problem as my son had reflux.

Sounds good in theory, but I wonder whether mine would have just fallen asleep before bath then! Anyway I'm going to try it on my next one...any things worth a try isn't it.

FifiFerusha Tue 19-Jan-16 20:21:03

I really feel for you. Sounds like you are trying very hard for your LO. He sounds very OT. Easy to say but hard to solve. Think my DS is OT a lot too.

Where would he nap the best during the day, pram, bouncer chair, on you. . I am thinking try whatever means you can to sort out the daytime sleep and this would help his night time sleep. Has he been on solids long? Could it be discomfort? Just throwing things out there and kind of bumping your thread to hope someone more experienced can come along and help. Hugs x x

Ps also wondering why his nappy is so wet too. Does it leak? Call me mean but my DS tends to have a wet nappy through the night but I don't change it unless it is dirty. He manages and no rash. Changing seems to disturb him more. Putting a nappy one size up for nights( whichever brand) can help as it will take in more.

GenevaMaybe Tue 19-Jan-16 20:22:45

Agree. Put a big nappy on him so you don't have the disturbance of changes in the night.
Is he on the right dose of meds?

RandomMess Tue 19-Jan-16 20:25:25

Oh dear, huge hugs flowers

His med may need upping.

My one with silent reflux, every tooth was utter hell!! I gave teething granules to help neutralise the increase in tummy acid it seemed to cause, anbesol rubbed on the gums.

She is 12 now, the horror of her first year or so hasn't left...

ZappDingbat Tue 19-Jan-16 20:38:50

Sounds to me like he needs a medication increase, has he grown a lot since his last dose increase?
Also have you started weaning him? I found that weaning caused more grief which was at odds with all reflux advice given. Some foods I believed to be non acidic would cause hours of crying.

Teething also affected my lo's pain. I agree with pp who suggested the granules. I found them really helpful. And gripe water can be good too for breakthrough pain. It warms the stomach (kinda like a shot of alcohol), neutralises the acid and also helps them to bring up any wind.

For the really wet nappies, i remember at one point I used to fold an old flannel in half and line the nappy with it to increase the absorbancy. It really helped. Obvs I kept this flannels just for that purpose and got rid one they were Weeing less during the night.

Speak to your gp/paediatrician. There is no reason why your baby should be in pain. You will need a recent weight, and they should then adjust meds dosage. There are also other meds that can help so if an increase isn't enough, keep shouting.

I feel for you, two of mine had severe silent reflux. It really is hell. My third was a model baby and I couldn't believe how easy it was. Mine are big strapping young adults now, and they still love to hear tales of how hard they were to manage with the reflux. It's always discussed with the clause of"it wasn't you that made it hard, it was the reflux." Although before diagnosis I was sure my baby hated me and I was a crap Mum. Remember its not you, or your baby, its the reflux.

Mrsbrightside123 Tue 19-Jan-16 20:48:31

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it.

We tried to give him his bottle before the bath but he wouldn't have it - super stubborn!

He sleeps in his cot in the day, would definitely sleep better in with me, I was worried of starting a 'habit' as he was in with me when he has his cold. I take him up as soon as he starts rubbing his eyes - or if it gets to two hours he's been awake. I try so hard not to miss his tired signs sad

The nappy thing does my head in. He's on nappies a size up from what he 'should' be but still they leak. I think it's because he's a really wriggly baby and a side sleeper. If I had this problem before a higher size helped but that's when he was still on his back. I used to leave him through the night but have to change now as it happens nearly every night if I don't. Even tried pull ups!!

He's been on solids for breakfast for months, advised by paed - we mix his meds into puree. He's been on two meals per day for about a momtj, and we've tried blw the last two weeks? Maybe that's an issue? Just fruit and toast really....

His dose is quite high at a pill and a half per day, doc said we can go up to two... Should I look at that?

Thank you so much for advice, I was in tears earlier so I really appreciate it xxx

GiraffesAndButterflies Tue 19-Jan-16 20:51:13

Things that helped us were making sure DD was lying on her front AND having the head of the bed elevated (either alone had no effect) and co-sleeping.

flowers

nottheop Tue 19-Jan-16 20:52:11

What is your daytime routine like?
How's the weaning going?
Echoing pp go up a nappy size or 2.
Offer ibuprofen.

From what I understand he goes down awake which is great for his age. Good job mama!! The frequent waking just as they've gone down is often overtiredness so I'd try to get more daytime sleep or an earlier bedtime or a combination of both.

My favoured bedtime routine is;

Bath if needed
Pjs & milk downstairs
Brush teeth if they have any
grobag
Book - the same one
cuddle
put down awake

at this point I would keep lights off and settle in the cot for any wakings. Minimal talking just a quiet 'it's okay, sleep time now'

for any wakings give 5 minutes before rushing in to allow themselves to resettle on their own

For the room I'd go for a blackout blind and a nightlight.

CocktailQueen Tue 19-Jan-16 20:53:17

My dneice had v bad reflux and her cot was always up at one end so she slept on a slope - if she lay flat the acid would come back up and would be v sore. Is your ds's cot head tilted?

Also, my dsis used to hold dn upright for ages after the last feed to let the milk go down, otherwise the acid would come back up...

Also, regular appts to make sure your DS is getting the maximum dose of meds. He might need some more - domperidone?

Hugs to you. It was an awful time for my sister.

waitingforsomething Tue 19-Jan-16 20:55:06

Hi op poor you- my DD1 was a bit like this. He is self soothing which is a great start; it sounds mad but is it possible he's overtired? I had to put DD to bed for 6pm because of this; it made a huge difference and we pushed back to 6.30/7 after she was 1.
Front sleeping from 6mo also helped her - i know it isn't advised but if he can roll and choose his own position it might work.
Are you still winding after his evening bottle? I had to get a good burp out of DD before she could settle without waking up crying

gotellitonthemountain Tue 19-Jan-16 21:02:05

My nephew needed booster pads at nighttime (like large sanitary towels, sit inside the nappy).....

Diggum Tue 19-Jan-16 21:12:15

I was going to suggest putting a size up nappy on over his normal nappy at night but maybe he'd be way overpadded that way!

Agree with suggestions to up the dose of meds.

Also, just do whatever you can to get the daytime naps longer- even if that means holding him for them. Sleep really does beget sleep. I either go for long walks with my now 21 month old for her single daily nap, or I BF her and then just hold her (with phone in one hand for MN!) and she sleeps for 2 hours usually, having been an arch catnapper before. She'll go down without props at nighttime and fall asleep on her own.

She didn't sleep through till 11 months or so and she had no medical issues. I thought it would never happen, but then one miraculous day it did!

You WILL get through this. flowerswine

Frustratedmummy79 Tue 19-Jan-16 21:39:26

Re: the nappy - we had this problem with our little one and I went up 2 and 3 sizes which stopped any leakage. I just did them up as tightly as I could. You actually need the increased absorbency that the larger sizes offer, don't worry too much about them looking too big

AlexTaylor17 Wed 20-Jan-16 11:51:54

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mrsbrightside123 Thu 21-Jan-16 20:08:00

Thank you all for your kind words and help - apologise for my late reply, things have gotten a lot worse. I have taken your advice and let him sleep on me, drove for hours in the car and brought him in with me at night to let him sleep some. I have noticed his reflux symptoms come back with a vengeance today so will be upping his meds and hope this helps. Thank god for you people or that wouldn't even have come into my head. I'd be jumping out the window. Thank you so much xxx

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