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bedtime routine for 12 week old

(21 Posts)
nicg85 Sun 17-Jan-16 20:26:38

DD will be 12 weeks on Wednesday. Her bedtime is anything from 10.30pm to midnight. Last 2 nights it's been 1am!
When I say bedtime that means the time she goes down in her Moses basket and I spend a few hours before this feeding and letting her fall asleep on my chest. Once asleep on my chest I'll put her in MB but she is instantly awake so I pick her back up feed and settle on me.
I do this several times until she eventually stays asleep in her MB.
Should she be settling down to sleep much earlier than this or do I just go with what suits her as she's still so little?
She has a nap about 7.30/8pm for 30mins to an hour.
Do you think this is too late to nap and could this be why it takes me so long to settle her because she naps so late?
When I read on MN about sleep routines for babies same age as mine most mums seem to say their LO's could to bed 7/8pm so not sure if what I'm doing is wrong.
Once she does settle in MB she does sleep for 5-7 hours so she is good.
Think she may be starting to teeth as she is drooling lots and doing a funny thing with her mouth.
Does teething make babies clingy and affect their sleep?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks smile

Jesabel Sun 17-Jan-16 20:33:36

I would maybe aim for 10.30pm as a bedtime, you can always bring it forward as she gets older.

I'd make sure she's awake from her last proper nap by 8pm. Then start a bedtime routine about 10pm - bath, feed, maybe a song/story/massage then into bed. It'd be ideal if you could get her into bed without feeding to sleep, but if you can't don't worry about it.

Once you have a set bedtime routine and she's going to bed at the same time every night, you could try gradually moving it forward in 15 minute chunks until she's going at 8pm or whatever time suits you.

I'd also pick a "wake-up" time, say 7.30am, and try to get her up at the same time every day. Having a regular morning routine helps with a regular bedtime routine ime. Treat any wake ups before 7.30am as night waking and just feed quietly in the dark in bed.

FATEdestiny Sun 17-Jan-16 21:25:23

Baby should stay in the same room as you until 6 months old according to SIDS recommendations. This includes during the evenings.

Therefore it is reasonable to assume that at this age the baby's daytime will be the same as your daytime, say 7am to 10pm. So you take her upstairs into your bedroom when you go to bed and up until then continue the feeding, napping daytime structure.

Gradually she will start merging that late nap into her nights sleep and so will start that 7pm/8pm "nap", but wont wake up, just continue sleeping into nighttime. That happening marks the time to establish a childs bedtime separate to yours. Usually happens between 5 months and 7 months old.

nicg85 Sun 17-Jan-16 21:31:37

Thanks FATEdestiny. She always sleeps in our room at night and naps during the day in living room with me.
I don't expect her to have a proper routine for bed now but just wanted to make sure I'm not doing things wrong. I think as a first time mother I just question things and want to get it right.

Suzietwo Sun 17-Jan-16 21:38:36

There's no wrong or right. What you're doing is completely different to what I have done, but different is fine. If it works then don't worry.

StarSpotter Sun 17-Jan-16 21:38:51

You'll find that she just gets more tired in evenings and like earlier poster said, the 7pm sleep with just merge into a longer stretch. Just carry on doing what you're doing if it works and you'll find she'll make her own way. As for the going down in basket, she might just be trying to cluster feed a bit and load up. I pick my LO up and feed if she doesn't settle and carry on doing that until she eventually goes off as soon as she hits the basket. I feel your pain!

nicg85 Mon 18-Jan-16 03:08:39

She's been asleep on me since 9pm and it's now 3am. I've tried to put her in her Moses basket about 8 times but instantly wakes up. I'm so tired and don't know what to do. She's been like this for the last 3 nights now.

Jesabel Mon 18-Jan-16 08:13:20

Have you tried sleeping with her? Are you breastfeeding?

nicg85 Mon 18-Jan-16 09:39:37

Hi Jesabel. Yes I breastfeed and last night was the first time I let her sleep in our bed as I couldn't stay awake any longer. I didn't want to do this as letting her sleep with us means she's even less likely to sleep in her Moses basket but had no choice.
She woke at 6am for a feed and normally after this feed I can put her down pretty easily with no fuss so tried to put her in MB but nope not a chance! So she came back in bed with me and has just woken at 9.30.
What do you think about her sleeping with me?

FATEdestiny Mon 18-Jan-16 10:04:23

A swaddle makes baby easier to move without disturbing when asleep (or drowsy). A dummy will help too, sucking is naturally soothing (and distracting) to aid putting baby down.

Also, being over-tired makes it harder to put baby down. Try to ensure she's not awake too long between naps - ideally 60-80 minutes awake time between naps all day right through until bedtime.

Plus plenty of regular big, full feeds through the daytime.

freshcruch Mon 18-Jan-16 10:07:43

At this age and for quite a bit older I had no routine.

My babies would breastfeed in the evening, fall asleep on me then we would both tumble into bed together when I was ready.

Co sleeping is a joy.

FATEdestiny Mon 18-Jan-16 10:07:45

What do you think about her sleeping with me?

As long as you understand about safe co-sleeping, it's fine. The factsheet link at bottom on the page) on this website is very useful:

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bedsharing

Have you considered removing one side off your cot and butting the 3-sided cot up to your bed?

Suzietwo Mon 18-Jan-16 10:30:56

personally, i wouldnt let her fall asleep on me in the evening.

nicg85 Mon 18-Jan-16 10:50:08

Her cot is huge and wouldn't even fit in our room. I think I will try the swaddling whilst feeding and then putting her down see if that works.
We've never tried her with a dummy. Would you lay her in Moses basket first and then put dummy in or put dummy in before she falls asleep on me?
She has never self settled and always falls asleep on me first. Another issue I know but will wait til she is older to teach her to self settle.
I'm dreading bedtime! confused

SkiptonLass2 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:08:13

Ds started giving pretty clear signal that he wanted to sleep in the evenings at about 10 weeks. Before that we'd been keeping him down with us in the evenings, but over a week or two he got really grouchy and was giving 'tired' signals much earlier.

We started a routine of bath, pjs, feed, bed at the later one then brought it forward to about 7pm over a week or so. He really seemed so much happier with it - he's obviously a morning person like me!

He now goes down about 7:30 ish although I'm flexible if he's unsettled. He's not grouchy in the evenings any more which is good.

All babies are different and he was obviously ready for it. We have a video monitor and I keep a good eye on him. He semi- wakes every now and then, flaps around s bit and hoes back to sleep. If he wakes properly I go in straight away and resettle him.
I know advice is all naps in same room but it wasn't working for him or us. He's in a crib next to our bed and sleeping very well in it.

SkiptonLass2 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:12:22

For the self settling I find if I wait till he's asleep and move him, he wakes up and is pissed off. If I get him at that 'awake but eyes rolling ' stage and gently transferr him he will self settle 90% of the time.

If he needs to suck, gently switch the nipple for a dummy once he's just casually suckling then once he's sleepy pop him in the cot.

Keep persevering, and eventually it'll work.

FATEdestiny Mon 18-Jan-16 12:16:51

Would you lay her in Moses basket first and then put dummy in or put dummy in before she falls asleep on me?

Exactly as SkiptonLass2 described above. Whip nipple out and dummy in once getting to that drowsy-but-not-yet-asleep phase.

Some babies take to this immediately. Others need some perseverance. Dummies are definitely worth it though, the ultimate in no-crying independent sleep inducer.

StarSpotter Mon 18-Jan-16 12:26:28

I should have said that I did, and still do, let my LO sleep on top of my bed in sleep bag if she won't settle. I make sure area around her is clear and no chance of her going under covers. They like being close. It won't last forever!

nicg85 Mon 18-Jan-16 13:35:30

When she has her 7/8pm nap I always thought it was too early to take her to bed but think I'm going to try settle her upstairs in our bedroom at that time.
I'm also going to try swaddle her whilst feeding to see if that works.
Going to put a hot water bottle in her Moses basket too before I put her down.
If this doesn't work I'll try the dummy.
I don't know why but husband is against dummies.
When you give your little ones a dummy for bed do they keep it in their mouth all night or does it fall out when they fall asleep?

StarSpotter Mon 18-Jan-16 17:28:47

I started doing that - settling upstairs early and then advanced from being able to go downstairs for ten mins, to a bit longer. Mostly I just stay upstairs with the telly on low. Not sure on dummies, I've not used them but know they can be a godsend for babies that just want to be sucking all night. Babies that are overtired are harder to settle so definitely worth trying to get things sorted earlier. Sleep breeds sleep.

nicg85 Mon 18-Jan-16 17:45:18

Yes I'm going to settle her upstairs about 8pm tonight. Well I'll try anyway. DH goes to bed at 8 as he's up at 4.30 so I don't mind going to bed at same time. I've been and bought her a little hot water bottle to warm her basket.
I'm not going to try a dummy yet, maybe an option as a last resort. She doesn't use my nipple for comfort really. Once she's fed she will pull off and fall asleep with her head resting on my boob so I don't think dummy will help.

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