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Hate idea of sleep training my toddler. What next?

(9 Posts)
Aussiegirl123 Mon 11-Jan-16 17:23:37

My l.o is 14 months. At 5 months we tried some gentle sleep to encourage better sleep habits. Between illness ans little progress we gave up and l.o. ended up in our bed for a further 6 months. At 11 months we decided exhaustion was too much and hired a sleep trainer. 6 weeks later we would put him down awake every night but he still cried for 10 min and woukd wake crying. More illness and teething and everything fell apart and we brought him back into our bed. Now we allow him to fall asleep in our arms, put him in his cot and shush him for early part of night. Any time after 12.30 am one of us sleeps with him in guest room. We are all getting an adequate amount of sleep at night but naps in day are hit and miss(these had improved after c.c.) I cant bare the idea of c.c. again and dont have energy for other methods. Did anyone just allow child to cosleep until older age (2/3 yrs) and have easy transition?

daisydalrymple Mon 11-Jan-16 20:18:20

Sorry no answers here, just to say I also have a 14 mo who co sleeps and am looking for ways to help him be happy going in his cot awake and fall asleep. Never managed to find that magic window to start putting down drowsy but awake- every single night he would just ping wide awake.

This is dc3, and the exhaustion is getting to me now, having to get them up for school every day, after broken nights sleep. Neither ds1 or dd were great sleepers until 18-24 mo, I think it's me sad I'm too mother bear / cave woman in my approach I think.

daisydalrymple Mon 11-Jan-16 20:20:56

Actually I can answer the last part of your question, ds1 and dd did continue to cosleep, but the point at which they came in got later and later. Ds1 would still regularly appear by our bedside, pillow in one hand, teddy in the other until 4 or so, but obviously not every night!!!

MaybeDoctor Mon 11-Jan-16 20:23:48

I did gradual retreat on my two year old son - it was lengthy but worked really well.

Buy this CD 'Lullaby' from Amazon, it has a blue/pink cover, wonderful slow, bluesy music and made everything so much easier.

Cavaradossi Mon 11-Jan-16 20:28:16

My three-year-old still co-sleeps, and while it's something we'll change in the next six months or a year, it's not a problem, and we all get a good night's sleep. My 'leave it till he's old enough to talk to about stuff' approach worked very well for toilet-training (clean and dry day and night inside 48 hours at 2.5) and the trauma-free relinquishing of his night-time dummy (overnight, just before 3rd birthday). I'm a big fan of doing what works for now, and figuring out how to change things if it becomes an issue later on.

Swirlingasong Mon 11-Jan-16 20:40:18

Yes, dc1 would always fall asleep with me, be put in cot or bed and would then regularly end up in our bed at some point during the night until about 3. This got rarer and rarer and by 4 only happened for the very occasional bad dream. If you are all getting enough sleep and are happy with how things are now, then just go with it.

Meht Mon 11-Jan-16 20:44:10

Toddler in with me still, I just go along with it. It means we both sleep well & I know it will stop one year day grin

Toounhappynow Mon 11-Jan-16 20:51:02

Ds2 co-slept until he was 4. To be honest, although I was totally against the idea and ds1 was a spectacular sleeper so I judged co-sleeping rather, ds2 co-slept from being a newborn. He was ill, just wanted to be cuddled and it held him upright as I slept with him chest to chest whilst I was propped up on pillows. Not recommended but the only way he would sleep. He went in his own cot sporadically, then into his own room. Nights were fucking terrible and sometime towards 1 yr, I started co-sleeping again. He would settle in his own cot (with me holding his hand) and when he woke he was straight in bed with us and we could all sleep again. Lasted until around 4 and he stopped gradually by himself. He shares a room with ds1 which helps and sometimes comes in bed with us but usually doesn't. I would do it again in an instant.

I was so sleep deprived and depressed and never had the energy to sleep train. It suited him and us. That is all that counts. He sleeps fine now.

AliceInHinterland Mon 11-Jan-16 20:56:32

I am happy with the idea of extended cosleeping but the reality of a wiggly toddler was less appealing. So we have done the sleep lady shuffle - there is crying involved but you know they are not scared, just protesting. But it is so hard to listen to your baby cry! Person who does not do the night wakings should give you a lie in if possible, and I would have a cut off at 4am, I'm just not capable after that. Good luck!

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