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Why can't I settle my baby?

(8 Posts)
Packergator Fri 08-Jan-16 01:08:27

Seriously though; tether end approaching. DS is 4.5 months old and has always been an erratic sleeper at best. He's in a Snuzpod next to our bed. He went to sleep tonight at 9pm. When he started to stir I spent an hour (11.45-12.45) replacing his dummy, stroking his hand and cheek, sshing...he kept leg-thumping (this has only started up again the last week or so) and flailing his hands around his face, and eventually worked himself up and started crying- eyes still closed so not really awake- so I picked him up and tried rocking, bouncing, ssshing, patting...all the things you're supposed to do...he started just screaming louder and louder and clawing at my face, getting more and more worked up. In the end I stuck a bottle in his gob cos it's the only thing which shuts him up. Why the hell can't I comfort my own child!? This is happening more and more often. I know I need to stop relying on feeding him to settle but what else can I do? The alternative is just to leave him screaming for an indefinite period! He was sleeping SO WELL a week ago- 9-3am then 4-7/8am. Now he wakes around midnight, again at 3.30 (can usually settle) then 4/5am (needs feed) but the intervening hours are a cacophony of leg thumping- he bangs his feet down SO HARD it makes the entire bed shake- and face clawing, which makes keeping a dummy in, and my getting any sleep, virtually impossible. I just can't rock/cuddle/sssh him in the night. He just screams and screams until he's fed. How can I break this cycle??

beckslovestimmy Fri 08-Jan-16 01:12:20

I think around 4 months they have a growth spurt/sleep regression. I'd say if a feed settles him then he's hungry and needs it. He's still tiny and I'm sure this will be short lived. You could maybe try a dream feed when you go to bed yourself and see if that helps?

Packergator Fri 08-Jan-16 01:15:41

He's had his 4 month sleep regression, believe me! We were well and truly out the other side and I was so relieved when he started sleeping again...until now. I go to bed the same time as him (8pm) because it's the only chance I get of getting any sleep myself, the window between 9 and midnight when I can snatch a few hours of precious sleep before the inevitable early morning sleeplessness. As you can imagine, this is wonderful for mine and DHs relationship (not)...I can't remember when we had an evening together...but that's a whole other story!

bigfam Fri 08-Jan-16 01:18:51

flowers maybe the reason he will only settle when he is fed is because he's genuinely hungry? It's likely just a phase (got to love those wonder weeks!) so if you're finding it hard I'd do whatever makes it easier for you-feeding to sleep etc. Have you tried using a white noise app on your phone? You're not doing anything wrong either so don't feel bad.

Packergator Fri 08-Jan-16 01:23:53

Tried white noise; used to work when he was tiny, but not any more. I think he is genuinely hungry- he takes most of an 8oz bottle- but why!? Why's he suddenly so hungry at night? I've got the 'Wonder Weeks' app and he's not in a growth spurt at the moment- it's supposed to be a 'sunny' period (and, to his credit, he is marvellous in the daytime, such a happy, smiley content little chap I can just about forgive him for the sleeplessness) but he just seems to constantly bounce between 1 early morning feed and 2 full-on night feeds. Just as I get used to one thing he does something totally different!! I am dying from lack of sleep...(as I type, DH is snoring his head off next to me so, although DS has gone back to sleep now I don't stand a chance of doing the same...)

Packergator Fri 08-Jan-16 01:24:50

And, sorry, thank you for the flowers and the reassurance. Just terrified of making a rod for my own back and him becoming over dependent on night feeds, iyswim?

Packergator Fri 08-Jan-16 01:26:36

Am going to try and sleep now- might get an hour in if I knee DH in the balls before the 3am wake up...

Dinobab Fri 08-Jan-16 01:29:14

I guess if he's hungry then hes hungry, could be a grow the spurt? I used to give DS a bottle if he wouldn't settle in the night until he was 6 months ish and even then if he'd had less than usual in the day I'd give him a night feed if he wanted

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