bed time for sharing siblings.

[BusyCee]

Oh FFS

We have 3 DCs. Infant dd who currently sleeps in our room and 2 DSs, 5 and 2.5. We only have 3 rooms. One for us, a box roo nursery for Dd (which she doesn't yet sleep in, but does have the cot in, and no room for any other furniture) and a single sized room with bunk beds for the boys.

Until last week DS1 went to sleep in our bed and we trfd him to his bunk bed when they were both asleep. He's relatively good at going to sleep, but is also a late sleeper, often playing and reading until 8.

DS2 goes to sleep in his bunk in his room...but buggers about for ages. On his own he'll stay up complaining and playing until 830/9. When they're together he instigated all sorts of stupidity and the pair of them get hysterical and don't sleep until late. That's why we started putting ds1 down in our room

But now we need to give Dd a routine, which means putting her down in the cot in our room at about 7ush. And that means the boys need to share their room. Last night I read the 'rabbit going to sleep' book and ds1 went quickly. Ds2 stayed up complaining for a while but didn't wake Ds1. Tonight I put them to bed at 645 and did the same quiet routine. They are still up DH is now reading the riot act after they've screamed, played, broken out of their room and fannied about in the bathroom....

So what the fuck do we do now? I'm going to reduce ds2 daytime nap to an hour. But I can't really keep ds1 up until ds2 goes to sleep. That's sometimes 830 and ds1 needs his sleep for school.

Any thoughts? We're all sleep deprived (of course, we've got infant dd) and we need to sort something practical, that gives us all a break and that doesn't require constant telling off. Please help...

[BusyCee]

I posted before and got some good tips, but it's coming to a head again and we just can't have ds1 up until DS2 goes to sleep. It's not tenable and we desperately need our evenings back - our relationship is really suffering and in starting to feel really blue...

[doitanyways]

Can't you have them in different rooms for the time being?

[BusyCee]

There isn't anywhere for them to sleep! The third room has the cot in it (which they're both too big for) and we don't have a toddler bed....

I'm considering;
-star chart and bribery

• starting the routine at 6 and giving them half an hour to bigger about before lights off and bed
• I can't really do naughty step as they're both at it

DH has spent this evening threatening and taking things away while I feed dd downstairs. But that's not a solution. It's a stress response and makes them (and us) feel bad at bedtime. Not great.

[beckworth]

Can you put dd down in the nursery, and then transfer her later on? Lots of transferring, but if putting ds down in your room was working maybe that's an option?

[mrsmugoo]

If your 2.5 year old is farting about at bedtime and not going down til gone 8pm then I'd suggest cutting the nap right down to 45 minutes with a view to phasing it out altogether and a much earlier bedtime.

[DangerMouth]

Is there a cot in your room and the box room? If you're keeping dd in with you can you buy a camp bed for the box room and have one of your ds sleep in there?

When ds2 is even 6 months older you could work on getting him in to bed quietly?

[thisismypassword]

My daughter is 3 this month. She dropped her hour nap 2 months ago. She used to go to bed at 7 and now without the nap she happily goes to bed at 6 and sleeps through the night. We've recently bought a gro clock because she was waking a little early and it's set for 6am.

I highly recommend your idea of phasing the nap out. I might be so bold to suggest that it will solve most of your bedtime problems because it sounds like your ds2 is the biggest problem (in the nicest possible way!!!)

[IguanaTail]

Suggest getting narrow bed for box room for oldest
Direct From Leading UK Children's Bed Manufacturer //www.scallywagkids.co.uk
181cm (Length) x 83cm (Width) x 117cm (Height). Overall width (Inc. Ladder): 126cm
Mattress not included. Click the 'by' Link (Above) For Our Range of Mattresses
Flat Pack For Easy Home Assembly
Ladder can be fitted to either the left or right hand side.

Then younger son stays in same room. And put cot in with youngest son.

Then when sleeping improves put cot in box room, and narrow bed and 2nd bed in other room.

[BusyCee]

Thisismyoassword - ds2 is very much my biggest problem at the moment. Nicely and otherwise! He's just the most enormous PITA.

Beckwith - your suggestion is brilliant. I think we'll do that. Can't imagine why I didn't think of it sooner. Obvs dd agrees too, as this evening, for the first time ever, she went to sleep just after 8, when I was posting in desperation, and is still asleep now. I know she's ready for some routine and so are we and we'll figure out DS2 eventually

[BusyCee]

Deffo cutting ds2s nap too.

When I say he's a pita, I'm not kidding. He's the child I find hardest to manage. He's loud and head strong and has two settings; asleep and full metal jacket. He's such a 'boy'. Loud, fast, physical. I'm from a family of girls, and while ds1 is also spirited, he's more subtle than ds2. He's just a whirlwind - last years exploits included locking himself in a car and having to be broken out by the fire brigade, taking a handful of tablets at a friends house and hurling himself off a stool onto a stone floor, resulting in a trip to minor injuries. That's the problem with getting him to sleep. He just goes and goes and goes...and then zonks out.

Anyway. No nap for him from now on while we crack getting 5 people to sleep in a 2.5 bedroom'ed house. I know he'll survive, even if he's crotchety. But will I...?

[BathshebaDarkstone]

What worked for me was getting DS 4 up really early so he crashed out as soon as he went to bed, then DD 8 could fall asleep at her leisure. She's on Minecraft while I'm putting him to bed, then it's nearly time for her to go in.

[RB68]

I was going to say get a growing bed - toddler one that grows to full size and put in cot room, if you are not using cot break it down and loft it for a bit while you get the routine back.

Defo reduce the nap to being just that - a nap

Be strict at bedtime - stand outside the room and go it at first noise, put them into bed and say time for sleep goodnight now or similar and leave - repeat till no noises then distance yourself from the room slowly over time - its sort of sleep training but I had to put a 1 yr old in a bed due to climbing and we had to do this for a while till she got the message once in bed no getting out.

Having said that she is not a great sleeper even now