Seriously what kind of baby have I got? (Am typing from car as I've run out of house for fear of hurting the baby)

[crystalgall]

Am sat crying in the car. Have abandoned DD with DH and an overtired 4 yr old DS.


She is 9 weeks and I'm exhausted.


For the first 7 weeks she had to do all her naps in arms. Sling maybe but not always.

Nights she manages the Moses basket for half the night and wakes every two hours. Not to feed every time though as she will only take 1-2oz

Has to be rocked and rocked and rocked for fucking ages before she will sleep. She will drop off and the suddenly eyes will snap open.

Screams in the car seat.

Take her for a walk in the buggy. She is wide awake for over an hour and then may drop off for 20 mins.

Seems
Constantly tired. Manages less than an hour before grumbling and acting tired again. I seem to spend all day and all night trying to put her to sleep.

Doesn't drink formula properly. I'm
Making 5oz bottles by she manages Maybe 2-3 oz at a time. Then maybe again a little after 30 mins. But acts hungry.

Sometimes screams while having the bottle. ( I think when she's overtired)

I wouldn't mind co sleeping but even that is a pain. She spent over an hour settling last night. That was after 45 mins of rocking sitting up hoping to get her in basket. I gave up and took her to bed but had another hour of fussing

I can't bear to hold her anymore. She just fusses and fusses. It's not nice cuddling to sleep. It's face rubbing all over me, legs flailing, dummy falling in and out.
She is swaddled.

Is she a high needs baby? I just don't know what to do. It's 9 and I've been trying to get her to sleep since 7. She is clearly tired but fighting it every inch.

DS used to self settle from 4 weeks! I used to put him in the basket and he would chat himself
To sleep!

[BifsWif]

Could it be reflux? Screaming with bottle, feeding little and often are all signs - it hurts to feed, so they stop but are still hungry and try again.

My daughter was impossible to settle, wouldn't nap, wouldn't sleep for longer than two hours at night, was constantly exhausted but fought sleep. Diagnosed with silent reflux at 5 weeks old and was like a different baby from the first bottle with medication in.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes definitely go and ask GP about reflux

[ginagslovechild]

Sounds like silent reflux, I had one too I'm sorry op it's hard. Def take her to the gp

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

She is a completely normal newborn baby in the "fourth trimester" and needing to be on you constantly. It's hard work. I'm sorry but I think your DS perhaps spoiled you a little bit and you need to adjust your expectations. She's not high needs, she's completely normal. Most newborns do not want to be put down ever, especially when trying to sleep. Just go with it and take what breaks you need when you can and what support you can. And repeat the mantra "this too shall pass". Get a good sling too - most newborns hate buggies and Moses baskets, they want to be on mum.

[Treesandbees]

I read your post and thought reflux too! How are her nappies? If she's having explosive nappies it might also be cows milk protein allergy. Worth reading up on both before seeing the GP as some are not very clued up. If it's reflux they will prescribe Gaviscon. Don't be surprised if this doesn't work. Next step is ranitidine. Worked wonders on my 2. Good luck xxx

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

And yep get reflux checked out.

[BumWad]

Yes as others have said reflux or colic. Symptoms very similar. Get her to the GP

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

She isn't a newborn drranj

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

So I think reflux more likely

[BeStrongAndCourageous]

Google Dr Sears and high-needs babies. She sounds very like my DD - she was my first, and very nearly only as she was such hard work!

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

If it is reflux, (or while you wait to see) keep her upright as much as possible - espcially for half an hour after feeds. This is where a sling comes in very handy! And swing seats for when you can't wear her...

[Marrou]

I think you have a normal baby. It is very very hard but it will be ok. It definite sounds like there might be reflux but in my experience (I have four children) none slept through the night until they started school and they all woke very frequently at that age. My best advice is to put your baby in a sling in the day and muddle through the nights. It WILL get better.

[90sforever]

Is she sleeping for any chunks of the night? I'm just wondering why you have been trying to get such a young baby down so early? IMe they tend to go down 10,11ish at that age?

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

Sorry I class everything under 12 weeks and in the 'fourth trimester' as newborn. I should just say under 12 weeks!

[jellyjiggles]

My dd was like this but was also very windy with bad nappies. She is allergic to milk protein. Get to the GP and ask for help.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Fair enough. To me a newborn is under about a month. It's just semantics though I agree.

[TheUnexpectedMorrisDancer]

My first thought was also reflux.
Your post perfectly describes my first baby. Eventually, at about 9 months, she was diagnosed with silent reflux. Medication helped quite quickly.
Massive hugs, it is so hard and exhausting. My DH used to take DD for a massive walk in the pram on a Saturday morning. Try to carve out some time each week were you get a physical and emotional break.

[QuiteLikely5]

Have you tried wrapping her snugly and letting her cry for a minute or two?

I don't advocate leaving babies to cry at all but this worked with my middle child, she just didn't know how to fall asleep!

Secondly, consider getting a test with a bigger hole, those damn things are so hard to suck from. Some babies have no bother, some do.

Consider a change in formula, comfort formula

Raise her Moses basket by putting a book or two under the mattress.

Also you could buy peppermint tea, make as normal, then once cool give her some via a syringe, just a few drops, this will help her tummy if she's windy.

Other countries use certain other teas like this but not here as they like to make a buck or two with pharmaceutical solutions.

This is all a phase and it will pass. You are feeling this way because you are tired and in need of a decent sleep.

What to do is suggest to your husband that for tonight you sleep in a different room so that you can have a proper rest because if you don't get one tomorrow is going to be just as hard as today.

[QuiteLikely5]

Teat not test!

[Cirsium]

As PP have said it sounds like reflux. Speak to your HV/GP. DD was prescribed Ranitidine at 5 weeks old and it made a huge difference.

[DrRanjsRightEyebrow]

Yep - newborn is technically under 28 days, I forgot that! But 9 weeks is still so tiny and too young to have any expectations about sleep. Apart from very rare exceptions, all 9 week olds are 'high needs' so I don't think it's fair to plaster that label on them. But it's hard, I know. (Said mother of a 2 year old who's not slept for more than 3 hours consecutively, ever. But that's not helpful!)

[DiscoDiva70]

I also think she may have reflux as it sounds like she's in pain

[spanky2]

Same as ds1. He's 11 now and I remember feeling the same. I remember going in his room when he was still a little baby, I can't remember now and to my shame shrieking what do you fucking want now??!!! And bursting into tears. It is exhausting and when you're in it everlasting. I'm not sure if this is still the advice, as it was a long time ago, but we were told to raise the mattress slightly in the Moses basket. I also found he was better in a bouncy chair as it held him at an angle not flat. He had colic. I did also think reflux or formula cows milk allergy. Get down to the doctor.
Keep aware of your mood incase you have abit of pnd. It is so hard when they are little, but in my experience ds1 was a screaming all day and night baby, but a fantastically easy toddler.

[90sforever]

My DD is the same age. She occasionally has bad nights, and she doesn't sleep through (I wouldn't expect her too) but despite being exhausting it's nowhere near as bad as Op describes. You can't spend 7 wakes awake all
Night holding a baby, you'll be ill yourself from lack of sleep

That said I would try holding off with any nap expectations (why are you pushing daytime naps when she is so disturbed at night? Wouldn't it be better to just leave her and let her find her own rhythm? Dd doesn't nap in the day but as she only wakes twice in the night for an
Hour or so at a time I'm happy to go with it as I believe her to be a good sleeper) if you lay off the daytime stuff and make her nighttime much later you might see a difference in her sleeping patterns. Good
Luck!

[crystalgall]

Am back home. DH called as couldn't cope. He made her s bottle. I don't know why and we have rowed over my 'control' issues and me feeling like he hates and resents the baby. Am now holding her in bed while she sucks furiously in the dummy like her life depends on it and fusses about.