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How to get my 2.5 yo to self settle at night? Please help

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Walkinglikeazombie Wed 16-Dec-15 22:53:05

My DD is 2.5, was bf to sleep up until she self weaned which was at 23 months. After that, we mainly co-slept and as long as someone was laying with her and cuddling she would fall asleep (eventually).
I now have a 3 week old DD with whom I co-sleep some nights so cannot physically cope any more with DD1's bed routine.
She wakes up around 7:30am every morning.
She naps during the day from 1,1:30pm for about and hour to hour and a half.
At night, she would have dinner around 6:15, bath around 7pm. She loves her bath time so by the time we are done it would be about 7:30pm which is when we would get dressed and ready for bed.
Aim is to have her in her bed by 8pm, which is the case most nights. I would read her two stories and as long as I stay in the room with her she will be calm; however it can take up to two hours for her to actually fall asleep.
We started with this routine a month or so before DD2 was born and I am still not allowed to leave the room unless she is asleep.
I just can't cope with this, don't know what to try to get her to settle down on her own and to settle down faster. Some nights I am convinced she is fast asleep and when I move she would just scream. Also, on few nights it would be 11pm and she still wouldn't be asleep.
For her nap, routine is very much the same, I just give her a cuddle, put her to bed and give her a kiss, stay in the room with her and she is asleep majority of the time in 10mins.
Sorry to ramble on and if I am not making much sense, I'm just so tired.

TIA to all flowers

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