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Toddler won't stay in bed after night wakings

(7 Posts)
weeblueberry Sat 12-Dec-15 03:35:49

Seems like I've had more bloody threads in this section in the last six weeks than ever before. angry

DD1 hit a crap sleeping patch when we started toilet training. She started waking in the night, coupled with learning to climb out the cot. We made it into the bed at that point. For the first little while she wasn't waking every night and my partner would sleep through with her. Now it's every night and she's ended up coming in to the bed with us. Initially okay but now she's staying awake while through here and no one sleeps and everyone gets angry. She thrashes about, kicks, wants to get up and put the light on, wake her sister (who's still in a cot in our room).

So we're going to push for her to stay in her bed again. Whenever we suggest she stays in her room she panics and screams and starts to run through to our room. I've read all the 'firmly put them back in bed and retreat. repeat' advice but frankly the second you put her down she struggles to get out the bed and tries to escape through to our room I don't know why. She just moans she can't sleep when she's through there we literally don't have any time to try and put her back and don't get the opportunity to leave the room. So we're in there the whole time she's going back to sleep which isn't really teaching her to self soothe again.

All the articles seem to assume she will at least stay in her bed for a minute or two after you put them back in the bed but she's physically fighting us immediately to get back out the bed.

Am on my knees with exhaustion now and don't know how to handle it long term.

Nowthereistwo Sat 12-Dec-15 04:09:09

We have a stair gate on dd's room. She was younger than yours when she climbed out of cot so was harder to reason with her and got into the same cycle you're in about waiting till asleep when she'd been self settling for over a year.

Had to have a strict routine so she knew what would happen and rapid return.

We found the running to and from our room in the night was making her more excited so put up the gate and baby/toddler proofed her room. If she does occasionally wake up she knows she's not leaving her room.

Good luck

Nowthereistwo Sat 12-Dec-15 04:12:57

Ps in up with 3m old dd2. Dd1 found it a bit hard that we were all in one room and her in her room. So we said about being a big girl etc and how dd2 would have her own room when older.

She has also started wanting a little light on again in her room even though the hall night light is enough to see by.

puthyjip43 Sat 12-Dec-15 04:15:16

Agree with previous post- put a baby gate up in her doorway

weeblueberry Sat 12-Dec-15 04:18:36

We've considered putting the baby gate up but won't she just wail and cry at it and never get back in the bed? I also think she will figure it out very quickly if she's got a good reason to.

weeblueberry Sat 12-Dec-15 04:19:54

Now my mum suggested the same thing. We've talked about putting the baby in with her (also in the hopes that might stop her night wakings if I don't wake when she stirs) but now I'm panicking she will just go wake the baby up in the night when she's awake...

Nowthereistwo Sat 12-Dec-15 04:35:17

There were some crying at the gate in the evenings but that just helped prove that she wasn't coming out. So she'd cry, we'd come up put her to bed and leave again with decreasing interaction.

I know my dd is obsessed with the baby and would get up to 'play' with her if in the same room.

I know people do get them to share but not sure how.

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