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Nap routine 4.5 month old.

(16 Posts)
FifiFerusha Wed 09-Dec-15 22:42:52

Just wondered what a nap routine for this age would be like. I am struggling to get my DS to nap consistently. He gets tired after about 1 hr 50 of being awake and as a distracted feeder will only feed when sleepy. He is therefore catnapping on me at these times and this is disrupting consistent and long sleep, and yesterday only got 50 minutes of broken naps over the last two and each day. By evening he is OT and I am losing it as he is obsessed with waking in the night now (. 9, 1, 3, 5 and awake at 7) and only feeding then will get him back to sleep. . Trust me I tried everything else. So, he doesn't even get a proper nights sleep. I am feel like i am really failing him, and I am missing an obvious problem to solve to make it better but can't work it out. I am crap for not knowing what this is. He feeds so much at night and not at day( sorry that is a feeding issue isn't it, but the association is now very by strong for him). I am so tired, I just need a break to get my brain back and help me understand how to help DS. My partner is toooo busy to give me a break and DS does not know how to be put down for a nap, or even be given an expressed bottle by him, as he has rarely done this so it is all all on my shoulders. Sorry, vent, rant over, we need to do it. so how can I make my baby happy and help my beautiful son nap well at the right times. . I am getting it all wrong x x

FATEdestiny Wed 09-Dec-15 23:40:27

You are not failing him. You are doing your best.

1h50 is too long awake between naps. I think the tired signs you are seeing at this point are over-tired signs and your DS would have probably gone to sleep much earlier.

You do have to work to get baby to sleep, they don't just think 'oh I'm tired, I'll quietly and easily go to sleep now' (don't we wish they did!).

So just because you have to work at getting baby to sleep doesn't mean he isn't tired. 4ish months old, I'd say 60 minutes awake time between naps. 90 minutes awake time at most.

I like EASY as a structure to ensure regular daytime naps and feeds.

E - eat. Full feed starts the cycle, fed upon waking
A - awake activity. Around 60 minutes
S - sleep. Less awake time if getting baby to sleep takes time. I favour dummy and bouncy chair for daytime sleep
Y - you time when baby sleeps

Babies naturally take comfort and are soothed by sucking. That's why dummies work. Don't be afraid of tapping into your baby's natural needs with a dummy. It takes perserverence for baby to 'get' a dummy, but without doubt worth it. It's all about the dummy.

Babies also naturally like movement to get to sleep. I favour plonking myself on the sofa with bouncy chair in front of me bounce, bounce bouncing that baby to sleep with my foot. Other parents prefer to wear a sling and and walk, jiggle baby to sleep. Other parents like to rock or use a pushchair or car seat. Whatever works for you.

Ughnotagain Wed 09-Dec-15 23:47:11

Honestly, at this age, there's nothing wrong with him falling asleep on you. My 6mo still sleeps on me, in the sling, in the car, and feeds to sleep mostly too.

His night wakings sound normal too tbh. Have you heard of 4 month sleep regression? It's perhaps worth looking up. There's a support thread on here about it too I believe.

You say your partner is "too busy" to give you a break - why? Assuming he's your baby's father, he needs to step up and take some responsibility! You didn't make this baby by yourself..

FifiFerusha Thu 10-Dec-15 09:46:38

Thank you for your replies. I think the awake times are where I am going wrong too. After discussions on other threads , different site,I was advised to go for 2 hr 15. In order to lengthen naps etc...I thought this a bit of a wild suggestion but had a go. Of course he got to 1hr 50 and then went wild OT after that. That's when his short naps started and frequent NW . .this could be regression of course. So, will reduce these awake times again. He is a 45 min napper if iam lucky so I think he just won't manage a long awake time. Is four naps a day still normal at this age.?

As for EASY this worked really really well when he was three months and still keep trying it. Always has to be tweaked though depending on when he decides to have that first nap, or feed of the day. ..

Dummies- can baby take to these just for sleep or to they tend to demand them at all times once they 'get' it. My mum and family are in that realm of people thoroughly against them. I have no issues with them really. .except the look on their faces if they knew DS had one. Mind you, they all left their baby's crying to sleep from day one and think it is ridulous that I haven't. I am just not that hardcore. .i may consider a dummy for sleep. He is a sucky baby. It could be the key.

Feeling a bit better today as he has napped in the pram already for 40 mins, yes. Also partner last night suggested that at the weekend he could try and calm on a NW if he doesn't wake up hungry. I think he noticed I was losing it. Let's see if he will actually do this though. smile

FATEdestiny Thu 10-Dec-15 18:33:49

There's a general middle class and PFB 'thing' about dummies. Completely unjustified tho.

I post often on sleep threads and see anti-dummy 'I'm happy feeding to sleep' often come back somewhere between 6-12 months old and say they've reached the 'something must be done' point and mother and baby spend some heart wrenching nights with baby screaming trying to get to sleep. I try to help but just want to scream "if you'd have just given a dummy when they were little!".

The dummy is the ultimate and most simple no crying sleep solution.

If you want it just for sleeping, only give it for sleeping. Most parents of dummy users quickly discover how brilliant and simple they are for any level of upset if grumpiness to bring comfort, that dummies get used more often.

But very easy to reign it in. My 14 months has her dummy perm innately attached to her sleeping bag do that is the only place she has it now. No one but us see her with dummy since she only has it when in her cot (and even then just for 10 minutes when dropping to sleep).

We were totally free with any use of dummy until 6 months tho, because small babies need frequent comfort so the dummy helps. From 6 to 12 months I started gradually reducing its use and by 12 months it is now only used in the cot when sleeping.

DangerMouth Thu 10-Dec-15 20:37:25

I second a dummy. Dd1 was a refuser but dd2 has taken to it and to be honest, it's bloody brilliant smile

Actually l probably second everything FATE has said!

Ughnotagain Thu 10-Dec-15 20:55:14

A dummy is all well and good if your baby will take one wink we gave DD one (or tried); by 3 months she was rejecting it completely so they went in the bin!

FreeButtonBee Thu 10-Dec-15 21:12:51

My son is 4 months and has 4 naps most days - mostly 30 mins each. Finally the number of naps doesn't really matter as long as they go down and then go to bed! It's a bit of a pain settling so many times and I have 2yo twins as well so it means leaving them unsupervised. I normally try after 1hr45 or so. First thing and before bed he can last longer.

villainousbroodmare Thu 10-Dec-15 21:21:04

My baby's 4 months and has about 5 naps a day of 1 hr to as little as 20 min if it's v hot. I watch carefully once he's been up for 1 to 1.5 hrs for any yawn or eye-rub or sad face and I swaddle him, pop in a dummy, put him in the Sleepyhead with white noise on and walk away. He's usually awake longer in the evening but then asleep by 10 and wakes at 12, 4 and 8am.

kbro79 Thu 10-Dec-15 22:12:07

Hey op my baby is just over 4 months and also a terrible napper. Honestly ignore what anyone says about dummies. They really do help. People can be very quick to judge but I don't think they understand how hard some babies fight sleep. I let my DS nap on me (with his dummy) and get all sorts of raised eyebrows about it but I now just respond 'it works for us' and leave it there. Over tired crying is the worst as nothing helps so if napping on me stops that then thats no ones place to critise. Same with the dummies. Good luck. None napping babies are hard work aren't they? Cute. But hard. smile

Nottalotta Sat 12-Dec-15 18:27:23

Ds is 4.5months and has just settled into some sort of routine. Mostly of his own making, its what appears to work for him. Thank you FATE for alkaline of your advice! He wakes between 5-6am, awake for 90 minutes then will sleep for another 60-90. Then, he's ready for a nap 2hrs later. 30-45minutes. Depending on his wake up time and nap length he has two or three nap a day, i try for 3 so his bedtime is later. Today we only managed two and he was ready for bed by 5. He is asleep and settled now and usually wakes for a feed when i go to bed. Then we cosleep so can feed without real wake ups.

We are ALL happy with this arrangement. Long may it last (fingers firmly crossed.....)

backintheforest Sat 12-Dec-15 20:46:05

Following with interest. My 4.5 month old is a hardcore dummy refuser. We have tried 10 different types. They seem to enrage her and she gets more and more upset, turns her head away, clamps lips shut etc.

FifiFerusha Sat 12-Dec-15 21:44:42

Well, I have gone back to our old routine of four 30 to 45 minute naps and 1 hr awake we are both happier with this. He slept from 10 to 6 last night woe. However it would be great to have a daily routine with set times etc. .but I just can't crack that as he wakes at slightly different times everyday. Will sleep at slightly different times. Do people really have routines set on clock. I know that it isn't advised to do sleep training unless there is a routine. I just figure that if I have a little pre nap routine that timing won't matter.

I have tried tried not feeding to sleep this week and feeding on wake ups. It has been ok but a few times have given in. I tried a mix off pupd with actually rocking him for ages when I picked him up so not really sleep training. It settled him. .however now have a new issue. Wher once I could place him in the cot stirring now he needs to be completely and properly asleep otherwise he cries. Anybody done PU/pd and succeeded. I think I should probably secure a routine before doing anything though x

FifiFerusha Sat 12-Dec-15 21:49:11

I meant 1 and a half hours awake x

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sat 12-Dec-15 21:52:09

My 4.5 month old

Wakes around 7 ish then naps 8.45/9 for 40 -50 minutes has a feed about 11.30 then naps for 2 hours generally 12-2 but often try to push it to 1215 as have an older child who also naps then has a cat nap at 4ish (wake after 30 minutes) then he lasts til bedtime 7ish

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sat 12-Dec-15 21:53:38

I generally aim for 1hr 40 minutes from awake to sleep again.

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