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High Needs baby support thread

(835 Posts)
LittlePixieMa Mon 07-Dec-15 17:49:20

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club smile

EssiesInvisibleLlama Sat 12-Dec-15 10:22:15

Hi OP, I am with you! How old is your LO? No 5 is the biggest challenge for me but my LO sounds a lot like yours. I simply cannot put him down to sleep at all during the day. I end up slinging him everywhere and I'm afraid of going very far in the car! I have discovered (mine is 15 weeks now) that the best way to approach car journeys is with a well rested and well fed baby and then giving him loads of toys to look at/flap at while we drive. This doesn't completely remove the risk of meltdown but it does buy me some non-screaming time.
As time goes by he is getting easier and just giving in to it and accepting he is a handful at the moment has helped too! I'm just starting to be able to get him to nap for a little longer as well in the last week or two.
Hang in there!

LittlePixieMa Sat 12-Dec-15 20:18:50

Hey Llama
Yay! I have a pal on here! Woohoo.

My chap is now 6 months! I still wear him for all his naps, you're right, once you accept it it's much easier.
Until you go to a baby group and all the other babies just fall asleep wherever! Haha!!
I'm sure Baby Pixie has never believed he's a baby, always been sooo alert!!


EssiesInvisibleLlama Sat 12-Dec-15 21:42:17

Yep I carry him for all naps too. MiL is appalled!
He's been alert from about 3 weeks too.
I was disproportionately excited today cos I managed to take him out of the sling asleep and transfer to the car seat without waking him up. Immense achievement! It did take forever mind you.
How does your LO sleep? Little llama still feeds minimum 3 x per night. All my friends babies of the same age are going through the night and as you say, falling asleep on play mats in the day etc. If only!!!

LittlePixieMa Sat 12-Dec-15 21:53:47

Woah, well done for a sleeping transfer!! I've never managed that!!

Lol, my MIL is also appalled - 'he has to get used to the buggy' - urm I think not, buggy = endless screaming

Hmmm sleep, how I miss that!! We cosleep, he didn't give me any choice, and also feeds / comfort sucks 3+ times.

Little monkies. Though they've sooo much personality, certainly not boring floppy babies!!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Sun 13-Dec-15 03:29:59

Think we've used the buggy maybe 5 times! My mum assures me he will chill out a bit as he gets bigger and will start to enjoy going in the buggy eventually.

Yeah I was super chuffed with the sleeping transfer. He'd had his injections the day before though, so maybe it was a one off cos he felt lousy!

It's 3am and I'm feeding him for the 3rd time so looks like a 4 feed night. Joy.

How is your little one at actually going off to sleep? That would have to be my biggest struggle. All the other high need attributes I can handle but trying to get little llama to sleep is exhausting. Naps are not too bad, I put him in the sling and go for a walk of hoover or sit on the gym ball and bounce him. It's the evening which is knackering. He's much harder to get off to sleep at night. I watch him like a hawk so as soon as he's starting to show sleep cues I put hi in the sling then I have to walk about for ages so he can wind down before I can stand still and rock him or sit on the ball. Once asleep I can usually eat my tea and watch a bit of TV before I go to bed. He wakes up when I take him out of the sling so I feed him and then he will go off again for a couple of hours. We cosleep too. He's like a limpet. I don't mind the nights so much though it's the fussing each time I have to get him to sleep I find soul destroying. He rarely goes off without some crying. Sometimes a lot of crying. I constantly doubt myself and wonder if I've tried to instigate sleep too early or too late!

Renee01 Sun 13-Dec-15 03:45:27

Hi can I join?

I feel like I'm going mad most days trying to get my daughter to nap! She's 14 weeks and has been so alert from about 3 days old. I love having such an inquisitive and happy baby but she is exhausting as well!

My biggest thing at the moment is having to co sleep still and her inability to stay asleep - she can be completely out of it on my shoulder, limp limbs, the lot then as soon as I put her down she's kicking furiously, laughing and pulling the "yay time to play" face!

Also still feeding 2-3 times in the night, 4 every now and then. She has never, ever fallen asleep without a lot of help from me.

Does it ever change?!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Sun 13-Dec-15 09:16:39

Hi Renee
Yeah I feel like my whole life revolves around getting him to go to sleep too! As I type he's in the sling and I've got fur elise playing in the background and I'm sitting on a gym ball gently bouncing him. He is dropping off now. Yay!
The baby calm book is very helpful for getting your head around why they are like this. I think they are just totally normal babies who are just very good at expressing their opinions!

Nottalotta Sun 13-Dec-15 09:49:37

Hi all, just wanted to give some light to the tunnel. DS fitted just about all of the points in the OP apart from ling the car seat mostly.

He is 4.5months now and i realised a few days that i haven't had to 'sling to sheep's for 3 weeks!! Without even realising it.

We do co sleep and after nap evading for ages one afternoon he fell asleep on me upstairs at 3pm. I managed to put him.on the bed and he slept for 6hours. I have started doing this every evening around 5/6 as bedtime. It can take 90 minutes for him to fully settle enough for me to leave him well barricaded but is progress i feel.

He also mostly likes the buggy now too, unless overtired then he Will scream. But if you power through he Will sleep after 10th minutes. Only for 20/30 minutes though so not worth it imo!

A couple of months ago i would have been here, filled with despair and doubting myself. I just wanted to say things do get better and to keep trying those hated things - i put him down asleep intimately the bouncy chair this week and he stayed asleep! For 20 minutes! Would have been longer if my mum had done what i asked and kept bouncing him. (is there anything i can do? Yes bounce the baby while i wash my hair please.....)

LittlePixieMa Sun 13-Dec-15 18:38:47

Hey llama
Lol, same here, why did I buy a buggy?!!

Naps are similar to you, I'm the sling, often with a lot of jiggle bobbing around! My back is starting to suffer!!

Nighttime i do a sling nap at 7.45 than bring him to bed with me, usually attached to the boob most of the night!!

No time at all with DH without Baby Pixie!

LittlePixieMa Sun 13-Dec-15 18:41:17

Welcome Renew,

I hope it ends. Otherwise his friends at uni may be a bit freaked!! Haha.

Other people just don't get it do they?!!

Most high needs seem to be so alert and with it from birth.

Baby Pixie only wanted to stand from about 2 weeks, hated being rocked like a baby! He's now crawling (started at 5 months) which I was hoping would make him sleep better....... It hasn't

LittlePixieMa Sun 13-Dec-15 18:44:21

Welcome Nottalotta
Sounds like yours is doing well! Baby Pixie is 6 months and so far no change in sleep. He's wake every 30 mins, if I'm next to him he'll either look and then sleep, or find a nipple then sleep.

I keep trying to ninja roll away, on the odd occasion I succeed, but he will wake 30 mins to the dot!!

LittlePixieMa Sun 13-Dec-15 18:47:50

<anyone for a large glass of wine water?>

I had the worst night last night. Caught the committing bug, not good when you've. A baby who sleeps attached to your nipple. Poor DH managed to get him to sleep in the sling from 1am until 6am.......!! So he's knackered from walking around all night, and I'm just plain dead!

TesticleOfObjectivity Sun 13-Dec-15 18:52:09

I hope my dd isn't too old for me to join as she's 16 months but I think she might be high needs. Still struggle with her sleeping, she still feeds throughout the night. When I hear some people complain about their baby's sleep because it only naps once a day and wakes once or twice a night, I want to grab them by the head and shake it and say 'do you know how lucky you are!'

Op I'm assuming a committing bug is a vomiting bug. That sucks. I had one when dd was about 6 months and I remember how awful it was. I hope you feel better soon.

LittlePixieMa Sun 13-Dec-15 18:56:40

Welcome testicle (I did read the right?!)
Not too old at all! The more the merrier here, so great to have people who get it!

Yes I know what you mean, I was talking to someone who wanted to do cry it out as their LO woke once!! Twat
Haha, yes vomiting!!

Renee01 Sun 13-Dec-15 19:31:21

Thanks for the book recommendation Llama, I will have a look. I'm starting to get a bit panicky as I go back to work when she is 6 months old and not sure how we'll manage.

Sorry to hear about your awful night Pixie sad I'm so pleased you mention about baby pixie wanting to stand - my girl has been trying to stand from around 2/3 weeks as well! People can't believe her - when she's lying down or in my lap she'll kind of get into a sit up motion so I hold her hands and she just bends and pushes her legs and stands up!! It's crazy!

Today has been fairly horrendous for us - sometimes I can manage her lack of sleeping etc but on days like today, I kind of get caught in a loop of stressing out about it and not getting anywhere.

I've also not spent a night with my husband since baby arrived. It's getting so hard and I feel so distant from him. I'd give ANYTHING to be able to put bambino down in her crib and snuggle up in bed with him. It feels like that will never happen again!

Renee01 Sun 13-Dec-15 19:32:45

Oh also, hi Nottalotta and ToT smile

EssiesInvisibleLlama Sun 13-Dec-15 20:27:10

Yay there's lots of us!

Renee DH and I have been in separate rooms since he went back to work after paternity leave. He's a really light sleeper and can't get back off once he's been woken up in the night. He tried to sleep with us when we visited his parents a couple of weeks back and couldn't hack it!

pixie the vom bug sounds grim. Hope you are feeling better now!

Renee01 Mon 14-Dec-15 09:41:13

Morning! Wondered how everybody is getting on?

Baby R slept from 7pm till 1am last night in my bed which was good going - just wish I'd done the same haha!

And yes Llama - our situation sounds very similar. Since the paternity leave ended he's been downstairs. We stayed at his parents and had what I would consider a good night and he didn't shut up about how tired he was ALL the next day!

LittlePixieMa Mon 14-Dec-15 16:23:51

<creeps in all tired and weary>

Are we ever going to get time with our others halves?! So glad I'm not the only one!!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Mon 14-Dec-15 16:29:47

Hi everyone. We had a fairly ok night. He slept from 10pm-2am then I fed him about 3 times I think til 6am when he got up. As our nights go thats pretty awesome.

He's been a grizzly wreck today though for some reason. Not sure why as he's usually pretty jolly as long as I keep him basically attached to me. Currently asleep in the sling. At what age does separation anxiety kick in? He's started to stress when I hand him to anyone that isn't me.

I feel trashed and I've got a sore throat.

LittlePixieMa Mon 14-Dec-15 16:37:58

Hey llama
Sounds like a good night in my books! Little Pixie started getting separation anxiety badly at 6 months, but he's never been great with others. Tough when all they want is you, but also lovely...!

EssiesInvisibleLlama Mon 14-Dec-15 16:49:18

Hmm, he's only 3.5 months. He's looked worried whenever I hand him to anyone else for about a week now. On Friday DH tried to carry him in the sling while we were at a national trust place with some friends, he wailed so I ended up carrying him and he piped down immediately. Today I handed him to my friend who he knows really well and he had a total meltdown. Hysterical crying which took me about 15 mins to calm him down from! Very new behaviour and totally knackering! I can't even have a wee without him!

I can however muck out a stable with a 15lb baby strapped onto me. How long before I can put him on my back? Surely that's got to be easier?!

LittlePixieMa Mon 14-Dec-15 17:00:08

Aww bless. Little Pixie has always been bad with other, just even worse now, bless. Just a developmental thing, they grow out of it. It also means they're clever babies, they know where is the safest.


TesticleOfObjectivity Mon 14-Dec-15 18:19:25

Dd had her best sleep in ages (in her life perhaps?!) last night but I couldn't sleep to save my life! I dont know what is wrong with me! I feel like an absolute zombie today and have no-one to blame but me. She's also had not one but two naps today. Long ones too - 45 mins and then about 1.20. Must be a growth spurt or something as we are usually lucky to get one 30 min nap. I hope she sleeps well tonight as I really, really, really need it.

My dd has been getting better at being in a different room to me for a few weeks. As I said she's 16 months. I can now leave her downstairs while I wee without here screaming. Happy days!

I hope your bug has gone now Pixie. smile

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