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Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

(1000 Posts)
Purpleboa Sat 05-Dec-15 13:53:26

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

Purpleboa Sat 05-Dec-15 13:58:04

Oh, and I know my DD is still very young, and that there will be parents with much older children commenting here. But fck it, 5 months feels a bloody long time to survive on this little skeep (not taking into account pregnancy related insomnia too!)

saranga Sat 05-Dec-15 18:03:31

I'll join. I suspect the boy is moving our of regression to just being a bad sleeper. 1.5 hours to get him to settle in the slinf this afternoon. Tonight will be horrrrrible.

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 18:15:56

I've been through so many sleep regression threads!

I'm probably an extreme case but my ds is 1 on Tuesday. He HATES sleep. There have been many a night sleep deprivation has reduced me to tears. We have an appointment to a sleep clinic but the earliest available appointment is February and that was only due to a cancellation.

On good nights he will wake up through out the night and go back to sleep if you lie him down and give him his dummy, bad nights he will wake up after an hour or so and stay awake for hours with 15 mins kip here and there. Nap times are bad too, to get him to sleep involves a lot of screaming/pinching/scratching.

I'm starting to worry there is actually something wrong sad

It's nice just to have a moan sometimes with people who feel your pain!

starfish12 Sat 05-Dec-15 18:45:20

I'm in too... weirdly feeling jealous of my old self when DS1 was sleeping thru by now. Feel like I've done everything wrong with this one!

Zombie that sounds awful. Bloody hell waiting till Feb too... just shows how.many babies are crap sleepers!!

What does everyone say to themselves to get you through the day? I'm starting to disbelieve myself that things will get better! I keep looking at families when I'm out and about where the kids look 4 and 6 and find myself longing to be at that stage!!. Only another 3.5 years to wait!!!!

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 19:06:21

I have no words of wisdom to get through the day, just tea brew and a lovely dm who takes him for the day here and there to give me a break.

In all fairness, he never slept when he was a newborn as he had an undiagnosed allergy so was in a lot of pain, that wasn't diagnosed until he was 5 weeks, then he was very ill and had to go to hospital for a week. Then he actually slept ok, only waking up 2/3 times in the night for a feed until 4 months. I thought it was the regression but it just didn't end santa.

I think the only thing that has helped is having people to moan about it with who actually understand grin

fluffikins Sat 05-Dec-15 19:08:18

I'm in, dd is 2 weeks of 6 months. Goes down ok but still waking every 2 hrs for feeds/resettling in the night. She's also outgrown her crib and we can't seem to side car her cot bed so I'm panicking now with what to do with her as there's no way she'll go in her bed on her own.

starfish12 Sat 05-Dec-15 19:18:47

Mine has an allergy too zombie. I thought once that was under control and the regression had ended we'd be getting the zzzzs in. How wrong I was!

Have you tried hot water bottle/ transferring with a muslin that smells of you fluff?

fluffikins Sat 05-Dec-15 19:40:24

Mine has cmpa but I'm cutting out all dairy and soya so think that is under control

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 19:44:13

Starfish I have wondered if it is linked to the allergy. I am on a fb group for parents of babies with allergies and someone posted on there a few weeks back about how awful their baby sleeps and loads of people commented on it saying theirs were the same.

He sleeps with a muslin that smells of me and I have tried warming the sheets but no luck.

I have tried night lights, pitch black room, white noise, in own room, in my room, co sleeping, more feeds, less feeds, water in the night.... Pretty much everything but nothing seems to work hmm

The co sleeping worked for one or two nights after the first wake up, he would sleep for a couple of hours but then after that he would wake up and crawl round the bed laughing and squealing getting dangerously close to the edge.

Jelly101 Sat 05-Dec-15 19:51:39

My DS has just turned 7 months. He has been a nightmare with his sleeping patterns since 3/4 monthssad. 6pm to 8am is chaos! As soon as I put him down in his cot, he screams, and screams, and screams. He's fed, changed, etc but he still continues to cry. As soon as I walk in the room he stops and starts smiling/laughing at me. Then cries when I go out.

I'm tearing my hair out. I really don't know what to do. We put him down about 7-7.30 and he wakes up after about an hour and then continues to do so until around midnight. Then he'll wake up around 2ish, 4ish and 6ish. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

starfish12 Sat 05-Dec-15 20:04:14

I think I'm in the same Facebook group zombie.... and fluff think you are too? I've just started weaning my cmpa boy. He loves his food and is on 3 'meals' a day from the outset. Makes me feel sad he can't have cheese, yoghurt etc. Think he's starving... maybe my milk isn't enough but he won't take the neocate. Anyway that's not sleep related, just something else for me to moan about!!

Jelly - can you make his cot a fun place to be so he likes being in there? I mean in the day during awake time...?

Jelly101 Sat 05-Dec-15 20:11:21

Starfish- I have tried that. I put a few toys and sit him up in there for around half an hour or so. I sit next to the cot and play with him and he is fine. When it comes to putting him sleep, that's when the fun starts. As soon as I lay him down, he starts crying hmm

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 20:11:35

Jelly, no idea! But sounds very familiar. Could it be separation anxiety related?

Starfish I thought that too, he is currently doing the milk ladder but it hasn't made a difference. He had a reaction at pizza so have gone down a step again now sad

starfish12 Sat 05-Dec-15 20:25:16

Does sound like separation anxiety and also that he's playing you by smiling when you go back in. Probably just a phase like everything else. Don't know about you but wish a good phase would come along soon!

Good he's building some tolerance tho zombie. Feels like a lifetime away until I can give up breastfeeding...

On another sleep related moan all naps are done in the pram, car seat or carrier. I would kill to get him in his cot but he just won't do it. confused

fluffikins Sat 05-Dec-15 20:49:37

Jelly do you put him down asleep? If not then I'd do that - mine won't self settle so I have to hold her until she's deep enough not to wake up on transfer.

Someone (saranga?) recommended a floor bed too which I think might be a very good idea- stops the 'putting down' sensation and no worries about falling off the edge

fluffikins Sat 05-Dec-15 20:50:57

Oh yes I am in the cmpa group on Facebook. We're going to start weaning in 2 weeks and we also have a paeds appt then so holding out to see what they advise

Jelly101 Sat 05-Dec-15 21:02:43

I think it probably is separation anxiety. He fusses and cries even when being rocked to sleep (but he settles a lot sooner). No matter how long he is in my arms, if I move slightly or go to put him down he wakes up.

I have tried sitting next to his cot, wrapping him in blankets so it feels like he is being held, whilst stroking his face and softly talking to him. Nothing seems to work at the minute. I'm just hoping its a phase.

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 21:07:32

Starfish ds will only nap on a bean bag in the living room, while I'm there and usually it ends up with a compromise of him being on me if I try and put him in his cot he wakes up straight away.

Fluff tbh I found the dietitian pretty useless, fingers crossed yours are better! That group is really useful for ideas although I don't comment on there as there seems to be a lot of arguing and nastiness hmm

Currently sat with ds, he went to bed at 6.30 and is up for about the 5th time. His first wake up was one hour after he went to bed. The last wake up he wouldn't settle so he's now asleep on my lap, will try and put him down again in a min. I'm hoping for a miracle at this appointment in Feb.

fluffikins Sat 05-Dec-15 21:14:58

I'm on the fourth resettle! I find the group a bit ott and too many pics of nappies confused

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 22:29:29

Yes lots of nappy pics hmm

Ds has been up once after writing last post and is now up again sad he won't settle again and my husband is useless

I'm so tired.

thinkfast Sat 05-Dec-15 22:49:42

Place marking. Dd (5.5 mo) has always been a bad sleeper. My sleep is also ruined so even when she does sleep I often can't. I'm so on edge and shaky all the time

Interestingly she has cmpi. I think I see a pattern emerging.... Or is it just coincidence?

bumpertobumper Sat 05-Dec-15 23:06:00

I'm in. DD (dc3) is almost 10 months. She wakes mostly 3 times a night, taking over an hour to settle from one of those. Sometimes more, very rarely less.
We are in a bad cycle of bf being the only way to get her back to sleep, so she gets lots of milk at night, not that interested in it during the day, so hungry at night. I know I have to stop feeding her at night, but I am too tired, don't have the strength. If DP goes to her she is cross and cries for hours. So we are all exhausted and she is even hungrier...
It will pass
She isn't as bad as ds2 was. He now struggles a bit to drop off but sleeps fine.

zombiemeow Sat 05-Dec-15 23:29:46

Cmpi... Might be a pattern emerging here.

Ds still awake sad I want to go to bed

DixieNormas Sat 05-Dec-15 23:36:00

Mine is 2.10 and has just gone to bed, sleep is terrible but he has asd.

He is number 4 though and none have slept very well, they were all getting on for 2 before they started sleeping through

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