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4 year old has never slept through

(12 Posts)
Bavmorda Fri 04-Dec-15 09:20:36

She wakes screaming several times every night. Sometimes she's coherent, sometimes not. Each time we get to a milestone - 2 years, 2.5, 3 years, starting nursery - I think it will improve, and it just doesn't. All the advice tends to be for people whose children won't settle at bedtime, and that's not the problem at all. She just screams and wails and needs one of us to go in, but when it gets to the third or fourth time of getting up it's hard to remain patient.

I've read they tend to get over it by 6 years, but I don't think I can cope with it every night for another 2 years. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and staring to think it's a mistake having another. I honestly thought she'd grow out of it.

Anyone else in the same boat?

Wolfiefan Fri 04-Dec-15 09:22:31

Do you think it's night terrors?

Artandco Fri 04-Dec-15 09:23:12

I wouldn't go in. I would tell her if she is upset or needs something she needs to come to you. The effort of getting out of bed should stop half of them

Madblondedog Fri 04-Dec-15 09:27:29

I was that child, I was 5 when my mum managed to get me to stop yelling and just stay there quietly. I think she let me have toys around, I don't remember it though. I still don't sleep through the night (and envy all those who do!).

VeryPunny Fri 04-Dec-15 09:30:49

DD is nearly 3 and still wakes frequently. We told her she can do what she likes in the night as long as she is quiet - now she just appears in our bed at some point, no getting up required from us. She sleeps like a log once in with us, we sleep better rtoo.too

Trying to keep her in her own bed nearly broke us - we have a younger DS and they would either wake each other up or take it in turns to wake up so every 2 hrs one of them would wake.

We gave DS a dummy and he reliably sleeps through at a year so your second might be a better sleeper!

futureme Fri 04-Dec-15 09:33:53

Have you looked up sleep terrors?

The other thing is sleep apnea. Mine used to wake terrified as shed stopped breathing! Do they dribble sometimes/when eating or get sore throats a lot or cough lots in the night or mouth breath a lot or snore....?

Bavmorda Sat 26-Dec-15 08:50:32

Thanks for the responses and sorry for my late one - ended up in hospital for a few days.

We actually have 3 dcs - DD1 (5) sleeps through anything and DS is fine with a dummy, but they are the reason we can't just leave DD2 to cry it out. Plus we live in a small house so there's no getting away from the noise. I've taken her to the doctor before about apnoea but they didn't seem to think that would be the problem. Can the GP refer you to a sleep specialist?

hazeyjane Sat 26-Dec-15 09:02:05

You have all my sympathy - my dd1 us 9 and has woken pretty much every night since she was born - she just seems to have a very disturbed sleep pattern - night terrors, nightmares and sleep walking. I think in her case it is partly because of reflux as a baby that kind of taught her bad sleep patterns (this is just supposition on my part though!)

My youngest (have 3 dcs - 9, 8 and 5) is disabled and also has very erratic sleep patterns, he is on melatonin, which helps him in getting to sleep, but does nothing about the night waking (coughing and reflux) and waking at 4.30 every day!

I hope you find a solution to your dds problems. I try to make sure dd1 doesn't go to bed too late, and chills out so she doesn't get too tired and anxious (because it does become a bit of a vicious circle). And for myself I try to maximise any sleep I can, drink too much coffee and get free air - sorry not much help!

Sorry you have been in hospital - hope the rest of your Xmas is ok. flowers

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter Sat 26-Dec-15 09:08:06

Ds used to do this and it turned out to be tummy pains not night terrors. We're currently ok but if he eats something that doesn't agree with him we have nightime thrashing and screaming.

SeldomAthleticFC Sat 26-Dec-15 09:18:30

My DS didn't sleep through until he was 5. It is absolutely exhausting. I found trying to make him stay in his own bed made it worse: he'd wake at least 2-3 times a night, instead of just once if he came and got into bed with me so I just went with it. Anything to save my sanity.
He eventually slept through just after his fifth birthday. It's hard but it will end. It won't be like this forever. I hope your new DC is a good sleeper.

melonribena Sat 26-Dec-15 09:48:06

My ds is 3.5 and he's slept through twice.

For him it's scratching his eczema that upsets him or sometimes wind. He also gets very hot.

It's hard!

UnplainJane Sat 26-Dec-15 12:09:36

Have you asked her about it in the day? As in why she wakes. I think at that age it is probably either medical or a parainsomnia that she should grow out of. Apparently a daily dose of 600mg omega 3 oil was proven to help children who suffer from nightmares, sleep walking etc and after 4 months of taking it they had an extra hour of sleep a night compared to the control group. Worth a shot!

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