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45 minute napper and no real routine

(8 Posts)
FifiFerusha Tue 01-Dec-15 14:01:09

Oh dear it has all gone wrong. I had perfected shhh pat when DS was three months but he has always been a 45 minute napper. He is now 4 and a half months. I didn't feed to sleep and now do it obsessively as it is the only time he will feed(distracted).

At night, He sometimes sleeps through until 5 after dreamfeed and then after a brief feed will go down until 7. When he wakes then he will have 3 short 45 min naps in the day. Other nights he wakes at 2, then 4, then 6 and will need four naps. His sleeping is not predictable yet. Should I just be going with this. I keep reading that by now he should be having three long daytime naps and of course self soothing. Should I be strict and set a routine. Wondered about pick up put down but worried my DS will starve if he doesn't feed to sleep. I can sometimes feed on waking though and he can then sleep a little longer than 45. Any advice welcome. .all my good intentions have gone to pot x x

FATEdestiny Tue 01-Dec-15 15:26:28

My DD was 5 months before naps extended and I think that's early, 6-7 months of 30-45 min naps is not unusual.

Key is to pay attention not to time asleep, but time awake. At 4 months I would be looking at around 90 minutes awake between naps

magpie17 Tue 01-Dec-15 15:39:36

My DS (also 4.5 months) only ever really sleeps for 30-45 mins at a time during the day, usually three times so not much. We were doing shhh pat until recently but it's all such a battle and I am now just letting him nap on me, which is still a bit of a battle but is marginally less frustrating!

He is more consistent at night but I'm hoping that daytime naps get better with time or weaning, or when he starts to crawl or something! Either that or I will go a bit crazy, my day seems to be spent just trying to get the boy to sleep and then tiptoeing round desperately trying not to wake him. You have my sympathy!

magpie17 Tue 01-Dec-15 15:41:30

Yes pp I also stick pretty rigidly to 90 minutes waking time and when I strict with it we have more success with naps. It's tricky when you're out an about though but agree that 90 mins is about right.

FifiFerusha Tue 01-Dec-15 20:02:17

Thank you for the replies. I have based naps on awake time. I had been going for 1 hour and 45, and that isn't counting the time to get him down, so I probably need to tweak that and see if it helps. Glad to hear that DS is normal and just not a long napper(I haven't met anyone who has these mystery babies to be honest, but the idea that they exist can make me feel like I am doing it all wrong)

Magpie I am so with you on the endless days of getting our babies to sleep. Sounds like we both tried hard with sshh pat and alas have been sucked into what comfort our babies wanted. I mean that in a nice way. I may try a bit of shh pat again. .see if he remembers. He used to suck his thumb, which helped but now I feed him he doesn't see the point. Good luck for you too x

magpie17 Tue 01-Dec-15 20:53:04

If I am being strict with the 90 mins I have to start settling him after about 75 mins awake and even then it can take longer to get him settled. I just feel like I spend the whole day either feeding or trying to get him to sleep and no time playing and actually having fun!

My DH thinks I should be putting him in his cot to nap but honestly I can't face the crying and fuss, I am taking the path of least resistance just now but maybe making the famous 'rod for my own back' mistake...

I know one magical baby that sleeps anywhere for two hours at a time. Her mums house is so tidy and calm compared to mine!

trilbydoll Tue 01-Dec-15 20:56:12

My babies will only nap longer than 45 minutes in the pushchair, car seat or on me. DD1 did longer naps at 12m+ <fondly remembers the 3 hour naps>

FifiFerusha Tue 01-Dec-15 21:24:52

I will try the 75 minute awake time and then it gives 15 mins for settling(always takes longer though as he feed half asleep, I try to put him down when he is not fully asleep, but give up sometimes and wait). Maybe he has been OT the whole time. Maybe this could he related to being a distracted feeder. As you can see magpie I feel like you. My whole day focused on how I am building a rod for my own back, sleeps and feeds, yet not wanting to make the little ones cry. Also wish we had more head space for play and fun. Wow, just imagine if we could pop them in a cot and they would sleep. .bliss

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