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Go the fuck to sleep. What am I doing wrong?

(10 Posts)
polkadotdelight Mon 30-Nov-15 20:54:46

DS is 14 months. He had silent reflux as a young baby and was a poor sleeper. I spent many a night propped up with pillows. Eventually we managed a sort of co-sleep arrangement where the drop side of the cot was taken off and the cot secured to the bed. At about 6 months we could put him to bed awake but drowsy and leave him. Once a started to crawl and pull up to stand he it was game over, if we left the room he would kick up a fuss so we started sitting next to the cot until he went to sleep. He has been in his own room for four months, he has a regular bedtime routine and had been asleep by 7.30pm at the latest.

Now its gone to shit.

For the last week he has fought sleep, marching up and down in his cot before eventually caving in at about 9pm. He has always woken at about 5am, we bring him into bed and on a good day he will nod off again for 45 mins. He is still waking at 5am so is building up a sleep deficit, he is whingier during the day and we've lost our evenings (and chance to get any jobs done).

He still has 2 naps a day, about an hour and 20 mins in length each and as he wakes so early the first nap tends to be at about 9am. Im not keen on CIO as it would stress me too much to hear it and also he is sick when he gets worked up.

Can anyone suggest anything? Please? I am so fed up.

FreeButtonBee Mon 30-Nov-15 21:02:43

Drop the morning nap. Push it 20 mins later every other day. And let him have as long as he likes for that one. Have lunch whenever - maybe have two small snacks meals around the naps. Shorten the second nap so he is more tired at bedtime. Eventually nap will be post lunch. Slow but least teary method.

I also had a bedtime puker / it sucks as you have no choice to get them out of the cot and clean sheets/pjs/sleeping bag etc which means you have to start all the way at the beginning again. I found a sharp loud 'no!!' When DD was starting the gaggjng sometimes averted the actual vomit!

squidzin Mon 30-Nov-15 21:04:03

My mantra as a parent is "It's just a phase". It always changes every few months whatever it is.

I do find my babies sleep better when they have had a good lot of dinner before bathtime, and I tend to put them to bed with 7oz warm whole milk or formula. You don't mention these factors in your OP so sorry if I'm stating the obvious!

A big carby dinner like potato and macaroni cheese seems to make mine drowsy...

ProfGrammaticus Mon 30-Nov-15 21:07:16

Yeah two naps is too many at 14 months - down to one and be prepared for it to be worse for a couple of days before it gets better.

polkadotdelight Mon 30-Nov-15 21:13:02

He is a good eater so I do fill him with food in the evening and I do offer milk before bed. He often barely drinks his milk. Ive been thinking that perhaps its time to ease out a nap.

Vedamakesthebesttoast Mon 30-Nov-15 21:13:50

Polka were having the exact same issues! I have twins and one is an angel and sleeps really well. Goes down about seven hf seven and sleeps till 6.40, takes one long nap in the afternoon and wakes up babbling and utter contented. Then we have the other..... He was going down as well as his sister until a couple of weeks ago (both 14 months now) but has always woken up screaming by 5 ish... Plus another couple of wakenings through the night (screaming) passes out from exhaustion between 9 and 10 in the morning and wakes screaming, resists second nap and wakes screaming..... It's exhausting. However... Last couple of nights I've brought bedtime forward and so far so good. He's settling much easier and doesn't seem to be getting as overtired and hyper as before. It's only the difference of half an hour but it really seems to have helped. He still wakes up at half five but at least the evenings aren't a screaming match. Have you tried an earlier bedtime?

polkadotdelight Mon 30-Nov-15 22:14:24

Hi Veda, we did try an earlier bedtime but it just meant we were sat upstairs for longer but I think we need to give it another good go. Unfortunately because Im back un work now there are times when I dont get him home until 6.15pm which doesnt give us much time with him. Its a flaming minefield!

polkadotdelight Tue 01-Dec-15 12:51:04

I just wanted to say thank you to all who replied! Ive discussed with DH and we have decided to push the morning nap forward by 10 minutes a day (going for a slower approach) as suggested by Free and Prof for the one nap, keep up withthe bath and big carby dinners as we have been doing (*squids*) and have an earlier bedtime (*Veda). Fingers crossed I will have a positive update in a few months (realistically!).

FATEdestiny Tue 01-Dec-15 18:59:28

Yeah two naps is too many at 14 months

Spoken with such definitive certainty! And yet my 14mo is quite content on her 2 naps per day 9.30-(woken at) 11.00 and 1.00 -3.00. She'd sleep for much longer in the morning if I left her, but I still get 7.30-7.30 nights.

Hello from our post-natal thread polka! Good luck with your new routines.

If all was fine until a week ago, this could all just be temporary - teething, poorly, full moon or whatever - and may change back without you doing anything.

I'd only start making massive changes if the 'its all gone shit' is lasting long-term, if it was me. A week of things going to pot is just one of those things that periodically will happen (for the next decade or so!) and will solve itself as randomly as it started, IMO.

polkadotdelight Tue 01-Dec-15 19:20:31

Thank you Fate and hi! He was with my MIL today who isnt aware of my ramblings but she said that he didnt nap until 10.15 today so Im not sure if he is going to naturally do it himself. I know I sound neurotic but he is so clingy if Im not in work that basic house stuff doesnt get done until he goes to bed (and I need an hours peace!).

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