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Anybody that has co slept - can you help me?

(17 Posts)
bodiddlydora Wed 25-Nov-15 19:13:11

My dd is a few days off three months
old and so far, from the time I bought
her home, we have co slept. She has a side-car crib but sometimes after a night feed she also stays next to me. In the day she will only nap either in a sling or in an all singing all dancing chair that swings and plays white noise!
This past week however I have noticed her becoming over tired and very grumpy at approx 8pm and I think it would be good to start a 'bedtime'. I don't want to have to go to bed with her though! Any ideas how to encourage her to sleep in her crib alone for a couple of hours before I join her? At the moment my two options seem to be - go to bed at 8pm with the baby or stay up and try to get a screaming tired baby to settle all evening. Neither of which is much fun! I know she's still very little and I don't know how much to expect of her.
I would love to hear from people who have made a similar scenario work or from anyone who has any suggestions on how to gradually wean her off me! Thank you.

Hurr1cane Wed 25-Nov-15 19:15:02

I lie with DS till he falls asleep, always have, but I'm soft, and he's 9 now (with severe learning disabilities) then go and do my jobs

cedricsneer Wed 25-Nov-15 19:15:45

I had to resign myself to feeding to sleep for a long time and creeping out when all my ds were soundly asleep. At 2 they moved to their own rooms and loved it so it doesn't last forever.

leaningtoweroflego Wed 25-Nov-15 19:20:27

I coslept but didn't start a bedtime till they were a fair bit older, DS would sleep in a .moses basket till I went to bed, and DD mostly on my chest on the sofa (me awake) in the eveninga.

leaningtoweroflego Wed 25-Nov-15 19:20:45

Sorry not terribly helpful!

JasperDamerel Wed 25-Nov-15 19:21:29

With DD I used to get her ready for bed, feed her sleep in the co-sleeper cot ad go downstairs When she fell asleep. With DS I got him ready for bed and fed him to sleep on the sofa and put him in his bed once he was asleep or when I went to bed. When he was around 9 months old I started feeding him to sleep in bed.

ChilliMum Wed 25-Nov-15 19:23:46

I had a small crib downstairs that I would put them in for daytime naps and in the evening then take them up when I went to bed.
When I did start a bed time routine about 12 months I used the no cry sleep solution. It was very time and effort intensive but worth it.

GothJoose Wed 25-Nov-15 19:31:55

I transitioned my dd at 8 weeks but i did it slowly. I started by breastfeeding her to sleep on the sofa and leavibg her lie in my arms until I went to bed at 10. My DP would heat the crib with a hot water bottle and I'd place her in it. it was hit n miss for a couple of weeks as to whether she actually slept in the crib or our bed.

When she woke at night i'd feed her in bed and co-sleep until the morning.

I then started putting her in crib at 8ish (whenever she was showing tired signs) but Co sleeping after a feed. A few weeks after that I then started putting her back into crib after a feed and stopped heating the crib (tbh this was a bit of a fluke, I was dealing with the Cat and had no choice but to put her in the crib and she fell asleep).

It took until she was 14 weeks for her to do a full night in the crib from 8 (I still feed her in bed though at 19 weeks then return her to crib when she's finished).

I lie on my bed next to dd in the crib dd until she goes asleep and usually use a bit of white noise. The hairdryer is good for us.

Good luck, I loved co-sleeping but I'm loving having my bed back!

villainousbroodmare Wed 25-Nov-15 19:35:05

DS is now 4 months. He sleeps in a Sleepyhead beside me and occasionally just in the bed beside me. A month ago I was getting him to sleep by swaddling, soother, white noise and rocking. I've stopped the rocking and now just put him into the Sleepyhead awake (swaddled, soother) as soon as I see two yawns.
I go back and shush and pat if necessary. He's now going to sleep on his own.
I find that the 8pm-ish time is the trickiest, so I suppose the way forward for you might be to try and establish solo sleeping at the time that's her most contented initially, and gradually move on from there.

AfroPuffs Wed 25-Nov-15 20:09:46

Put them down in crib in the lounge...then take to bed when you go. They need to be in the same room as you while they sleep for the first 6mths anyway.

northerngoldilocks Wed 25-Nov-15 20:17:57

I just put mine in a wrap sling in the evening and they slept on me in that until it was bedtime for both of us

TheVeryHungryScreamerpillar Thu 26-Nov-15 03:15:20

Maybe feed until she's drowsy and lie next to her until she falls asleep, then over the course of a week try moving further away (other side of the bed, chair in sight of the bed etc) until you can leave the room.

captainproton Thu 26-Nov-15 04:10:01

Depends on the baby IMO. With DD you could feed her to sleep and transfer with careful ninja moves, whereby you got her in her crib, Moses basket after the magic sigh.

DS no sodding chance he's now 2 and finally can fall asleep knowing I'm only in the next room folding washing whilst he nods off. But before then if I even tried to slip away from his side he would just wriggle across the bed and when older grab me. Or he'd be wait until I'd got to the door to let out a cry of panic, all while asleep...

I think a lot of this advice is well meaning and no doubt works for many babies. If you find you have a Velcro baby after you've tried every tactic going, then you have my sympathies.

Freezingwinter Thu 26-Nov-15 17:35:14

You could try putting Her in a poddle pod or a vibrating chair when she's asleep?

Acorncat Thu 26-Nov-15 21:29:16

Up until about 8 months he just fed to sleep in my arms downstairs and slept there till I went to bed. After that he fed to sleep in my bed then I left him there until I went to bed, with a video monitor on so he didn't fall off the bed.

Vanoose Fri 27-Nov-15 13:19:12

We had the same scenario with a baby who would only sleep in a sling, and we would spend our evenings keeping him on us in a sling as we ate dinner in silence! I totally understand where you're coming from.

This is just our experience - I know every baby is different so not guaranteed to work for yours, but I remember the same thing happening to us and it really was a gamechanger with our little boy who is definitely a koala baby. Worth a try, hey?!

On a good friend's advice, at 4 months, we started a proper wind down evening routine. 6pm playing in the nursery, low lights, nothing too exciting, short feed. 6.30pm bath time. No bright lights, just led candles and a nightlight, plus the same lullaby playing on repeat. 6.45pm into sleepsuit and sleeping bag. Then into blacked out bedroom with white noise playing (continuous white noise, not just a 20 min one). Feed to sleep. Once very asleep (i.e. you can lift his arm and it flops down), transfer into Sleepyhead pod in sidecar crib. I found lifting him up and lying him on his side worked every time. If he stirred, I would put my hand on his arm quite firmly and this would settle him.

This gave us our evenings back and has worked ever since. The principle behind it is to be very repetitive and consistent, and every little detail is a sleep cue telling him it's bedtime. As bath is only once a day this is the big cue, so important to get this into place.

The Sleepyhead gave him a sense of closeness, and if you can get something smelling of you next to the Sleepyhead, even better.

At 5 months, when we got into bed, it was waking him up, so now he sleeps on his own in the spare room for the first few hours, and when he wakes up for his night feeds, I will either cosleep with him or re-settle him depending on his mood.

Good luck!

NeitherQuietNorCalm Sun 29-Nov-15 21:36:58

Another recommendation for the Sleepyhead.

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