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8 month old won't be fed to sleep anymore?

(7 Posts)
chumbler Tue 17-Nov-15 21:02:41

I used to feed 8mo to sleep (ebf then blw from 6mo), it worked for us for 8 months! But recently she cries as soon as I put her down. Sometimes I pick her up and try to feed her to sleep again, sometimes I leave her and she cries for a few seconds then sleeps, sometimes she just cries (so I go back to try again after 4mins ish). What can I do?? I'm not keen to use controlled crying so what can I do?????? Thank you

Iguessyourestuckwithme Tue 17-Nov-15 21:07:01

This is a GOOD thing, it means she doesn't have a crux to get to sleep with and will have to learn ways to send herself to sleep. Learning to fall asleep by themselves is not a skill a baby is born with and it is our responsibility to teach them how to do it. Sounds like she is trying to self settle with regard to shouting out and then sleeping. Maybe wait a whole and then go in or sit by her cot so she knows your there or do shush pat but don't try to feed her again if that not what she wants.

chumbler Tue 17-Nov-15 21:10:00

Yes that's what I thought that she must be trying to self settle. How long should I leave her to cry? I don't want to be cruel and hate thinking that she could just be lying there feeling anxious but not bothering to shout for me as she doesn't trust I'll come sad sad

(If I don't fall asleep that is!!!!)

chumbler Tue 17-Nov-15 21:58:28

I can't leave her crying sad

I don't know what to do sad

Iguessyourestuckwithme Tue 17-Nov-15 22:03:30

You need to decide on an approach and stick to it. Dx 4 months shouts fir a couple of mj utes and then goes to sleep. But I can tell by the cry (crying down as opposed to all out crying) if unsettled I go in, give a hug and put down when resettled. Sometimes I try shush pat hut this aggrevates so I tend to leave and then wi nod off.

WhatWillGeorgeDo Tue 17-Nov-15 23:03:03

We were a few months further down the line when DD stopped feeding to sleep so I possibly had a little more confidence that along with her breastfeed she was also getting a reasonable amount of solid food inside her each day. However, I remember the worry about what to do next to get her to sleep and about how much crying was going to happen so wanted to reply on the off chance that our experience helps. Not saying this is the only way but it worked for me and DD! Basically, I fed her in her bedroom until she pulled off and then gave her a cuddle and popped her in her cot. I didn't leave the room but sat on the floor (right by the cot initially) and everytime she stood up I knelt up and lay her back down again. There was a lot of noise and crying to start, but I was right there and and picked her up at any point I felt she was really getting upset. As soon as she calmed I lay her back down again. I also patted her bottom/back and shh'd a lot when she was in the cot until she quietened and then retreated a bit to see whether she was going to ramp things up again or calm and slowly settle. There were tears and crying but I was always there and over the space of a week she went from full on screaming to being popped into her cot, rolling onto her tummy and going off to sleep. She still wakes in the night for a feed but I'm now working on returning her to her cot at that point rather than co-sleeping and that is also going well. So please don't worry - they can get self-settling very quickly and you don't have to leave her to cry; if you prefer to be in the room and comfort her then you may find that that will work as well as leaving the room and you will worry less about her feeling abandoned/getting very upset. Very long post - sorry! - hope it helps a bit and this evening has been going better.

JustPretending Tue 17-Nov-15 23:18:31

We did the Dr Jay Gordon gentle night weaning method. First night was long & hard, we struggled but eventually got some sleep. Second night was worse. Third night we were met with limited crying. Fourth night it worked. We did it at 11 months and to be honest regret not trying it sooner. Good sleep fairly consistently (apart from when teething) ever since.

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