Co-sleeping

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Can I have some opinions on co-sleeping?

Ds2 has been a bad sleeper from the start he's now 5 months. On a bad night he can wake up every half an hour.

I know I'm doing the right things. He's got a bedtime routine, he goes down well in his cot and will usually sleep from 7.30am until midnight. After that when he wakes I leave lights off, don't pick him up, give him his dummy and gently shush him. He will not resettle. In desperation I've even tried cio but he doesn't give in.

He's ff and has one night feed, I know he doesn't need ore than this as he will refuse any more than one feed, he's not waking for hunger.

Tried dream feeds for one week but it was hit and miss and usually meant that he then wouldn't have a morning feed so messed up his daytime routine.

On a bad night literally the only thing that works is bringing him into bed. In our bed he will sleep the whole night, he lets out a big contented sigh.

I've mentioned cosleeping to a couple of hcps and have been told off and completely shut down, that it's unsafe and I'm making a rod for my own back.

It seems natural to me to sleep close to the baby but it is annoying at times. Right now though it's preferable to getting no sleep. My ds1 never coslept and slept better so I've experienced both sides.

Any opinions/experiences either way?

Help to get him to stay in his cot? He has dummy, a teddy he's close to our bed. I've tried putting one of my tops near him it makes no difference.

[Sparrowlegs248]

What about taking the side off the cot and putting it up to your bed? So he's closer to you but not in your bed?

DS is 4 months and we have co slept since about 7 weeks. I just coolant cope with the wake ups. He is bf and is so much easier to feed him where we lay. He is in his sleeping bag between us, on top of our quilt. This is against guidelines. Neither dh nor i smoke, drink, drugs etc. Dh sleeps like a log and i am hyper alert. Its been a life saver. I feed him when we go to bed at 10ish and then he wakes between 2.30 - 3.30 and will feed several times then before we get up.

[trilbydoll]

We cosleep. It's not ideal because dd1 (2.5) would still rather be in our bed so sometimes all 4 of us end up in the bed!

By 5m I'm not so worried about squishing them, dd2 is 6m and you'd know if you sat on her! Still have no covers though, I wear long sleeved pjs.

I just struggle so much to get up in the night, and I make bad sleepers, I can handle broken sleep but actually physically dragging myself out of bed is too hard!

[fluffikins]

I have covers from the waist down and long sleeve pjs. My left hand gets cold though and sometimes loses circulation as I have it extended out over her head. I can't work out how not to do that!

I think that if it works and they sleep then do it until you can be bothered to do otherwise but don't get all stressed about it, as long as you're following safe sleep guidelines

[Frazzled2207]

I co-slept a bit with dc1 and from day 1 with dc2.
With a toddler and baby I needed the rest.
Read up on how to do it safely and carry on. Cots are a recent, modern, western invention. Most of the rest of the world co-sleeps.
Does my head in that hcps bang on to not do it, they should bang on about what precautions to take if you choose to do it.
However my dh sleeps in the spare room which helps a lot.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Ds sleeps in the middle which I know isn't recommended. Although I am the deep sleeper dh is a very light sleeper and prods me awake regularly.

I have actually just moved his cot this afternoon. Before I had my bedside drawers in between me and the cot but I've moved the cot right against the bed now. Should have done it sooner but didn't want to lose my bedside table. Next step might be removing the side if this doesn't help.

[Frazzled2207]

I was going to say it's a good idea to get them to spend some of the night in the cot but see you're doing that already.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

We always start off the night with good intentions. I do try to get him to nap in there during the day too.

He was only coming into bed at maybe 5-6 in the morning but since sleep regression has hit he's waking more but not for food.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

First night with the cot right against bed. He did stay in his cot all night.

He woke up a few times it's amazing how much easier it was for me as I could reach through and hold his hand or give him his dummy instead of getting out of bed. It's only moved 2 feet. Should have done it ages ago.

It was nice having our bed back but still having the baby right next to me.

I think it might have been a fluke though we will have to see.

[UmbongoUnchained]

If it's what works for you then do it. Don't worry about what others think. I've co slept with my DD since day 1 despite some pretty shit comments from other people. I'd rather have the sleep and don't believe in sleep training.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Thanks.

I found this which made me feel loads better.

bigtroubleinlittlenappies.com/baby/guide-to-co-sleeping/

[poocatcherchampion]

How are you getting on now pyjama?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Not great. We had a few ok nights and then a couple of horrendous nights. He was back in the bed again last night. Having the cot next to the bed has helped me for convenience but it's made no difference to ds.

I'm still torn between whether it's the right thing to do.

[mouldycheesefan]

Could you do a dream feed at 10pm? This may avoid the 1230am wake up if he is waking because he is hungry?

[woodwaj]

I co sleep with 9 month old. I think it's a combination of him being poorly on and off so much and me needing sleep! We do start with the night in the cot and go from there.. I don't know if I should put his cot in his own room take the temptation of snuggling with mummy away!

[pookamoo]

Have you taken the side off the cot? You can attach it to the bed frame with cable ties, and push the mattresses together. If there's a gap, roll up a towel and put it down the far side of the mattress.

[SerendipityDooDah]

Love the link!

IMO, whatever feels the most right to you and lets everyone get the most sleep is "right". It's very hard to ignore the disapproval and tutting if you do decide to co-sleep, but only you and your DH know what's appropriate for your family. Funny thing is, I get as many people shyly admitting to co-sleeping as I do criticising it. Anyway, although we're now several years past baby stage and the little dude can sleep on his his own, he still sometimes sleeps better with us. And on those nights we sleep better if we let him, even when he sprawls out like a starfish in the middle of the bed, than we would if we had to hoof it to his room in the wee hours each time he squawked for us.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

[Pyjamaramadrama]

I tried a dream feed for a while.

It helped a few times and he slept until 3-4am, but what I then found was he was hungry at 3-4am but wouldn't feed at all in the morning. Sometimes he didn't want the dream feed. Some nights I go to bed at 9pm so ended up waiting up to feed him. Then at times he'd wake up during the dream feed and wouldn't resettle. Other times he'd still wake at 1am and wouldn't settle.

All in all it probably worked half the time but seemed to cause more problems than it was worth.

Haven't taken side off yet but that might be the next step.