what should i be doing?!(7 Posts)
Hello all - I'm new to mumsnet and also a first time mum with my beautiful 11 week old baby girl. I have done so much reading and heard so many conflicting opinions that I'm basically just looking for some reassurance or advice from actual mums who have first hand experience.
At the moment my baby does not have a bed time. I am ebf and she is still feeding every 2hrs throughout the day and sometimes more frequently in the evening (cluster feeding). I take her up to bed with me at about 10pm and we co sleep. She sleeps very well and wakes approx 3 times to feed and we tend to get up at about 9am.
During the day she has 3 naps. Literally in the last couple of days I have been able to put her down for 2 of these naps and she has slept on her own for approx an hour each time.
My question really is - does this sound ok? We are both happy but I just want to make sure I'm not setting us up with bad habits. At what age do people start a bedtime routine or establish a bedtime? Because she feeds so frequently in the evenings it seems pointless to put her upstairs only to have to keep going up and down. Will it all just work itself out if I keep going as I am? Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated
With babies you must keep in mind that things change.
The best, IME, is to go along their natural rhythms and find a routine that suits them and us. Adjust slowly if necessary.
Then when you think you figured it out and things are settled, they change again and you paddle like mad to find a new routine that works.
If both of you are happy, then keep going
Congratulations, and I'm sorry for the pun, but go with the flow. Your baby knows what she needs and you know how to provide it. Enjoy and don't worry about it until a bit further down the line if you have to go back to work etc.
Congratulations! I can't give any sleep advice because I have broken all the 'rules' I set myself. I just do what my baby wants. I was very similar to you until around 10-12 weeks ish when I started to want some evening time to myself again. So I started to put baby to sleep upstairs from around 1830ish and he sleeps whilst I have dinner etc. He still wakes every couple of hours and eventually I get fed up of putting him back in his cot and he comes into my bed (something I'd eventually like to change but I'm just too sleepy)
Thank you so much for all your advice. It is very true that things change all the time - in the last couple of days I have noticed dd getting grumpy around 8pm. It seems to me that by this time she is tired and ready for bed (but I'm not!) As we have co-slept up until now does anyone have any suggestions or experiences about how I can get her to sleep in her side-car crib alone for a couple of hours before I go to bed? Thank you!
I would get her to sleep in your room (bed or cot by the side of it) and then leave when she's asleep.
I had DS's cot by my bed, so that I could sleep, but could easily pick him up when he woke up and I could touch him and calm him down. He moved too much in my bed and I couldn't sleep properly.
Congratulations! It's such a wonderful time but a very steep learning curve when it's your first baby. Don't worry too much about a routine at this point, for us we just naturally found a routine around 12 weeks when his feeds got a little more predictable.
Just wanted to warn you it can be really hard to get a baby into their own bed/room once they are used to co-sleeping. If your happy to have your LO in your bed past 1 year then that's totally cool but if your not crazy about extended co-sleeping then maybe think about getting baby used to sleeping in a crib or Moses basket. It's less cute (baby cuddles are the best) but it's much easier to start how you want to continue. Babies don't like change.
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