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How often do/did your toddlers wake during the night?

(50 Posts)
Queendedede Mon 02-Nov-15 12:20:30

I'm sure the amount my 18mo wakes is abnormal now. I'm thinking Something Must Be Done before we all expire or lose the threads of sanity that we still have. Problem is that the 'something' will be either CC of CIO, both of which make me feel sick at the thought, but then so does continuing how we are!

MrsNuckyT Mon 02-Nov-15 12:23:50

At that age my DS didn't wake at all but from speaking to friends it is very common.

I'm not sure that CC or CIO are your only options. Have a look at the Baby Whisperer and other gentler sleep training methods. You must be on your knees with tiredness, so now's the time to grasp the nettle.

MingZillas Mon 02-Nov-15 13:26:20

My dd is 16 months old and on a good night will only wake twice. Last night she woke up every fucking hour so I got in bed with her as I'd lost the will to live by then.
I don't think it's abnormal OP, I think there's lots of developmental things still going on as well as teething.

Frazzled2207 Mon 02-Nov-15 13:35:16

Our 2yo finally sleeps through. Was waking once or twice a night till recently and we finally let him CIO a bit after his birthday. Was horrendous for four nights but things have been so much better since.
If we need to, we'll be doing the same with dc2 a long time before he turns two.

Frazzled2207 Mon 02-Nov-15 13:37:22

Btw my dh was dead against but eventually agreed there was no other way, and watching some episodes of three day nanny (where they are left to cry) helped turn him. Don't even think about it though unless you are both 100% committed.

Strawclutching Mon 02-Nov-15 13:38:05

At 18 months about 5 or 6 times a night. Now 2.1 and its down to twice and up at 4am ??

Queendedede Mon 02-Nov-15 13:38:32

I could deal with one or two night wakings..... It's the 3+ wakings that are doing me in. How did you do CIO? Mine self settles fine at bedtime but shouts for me every few hours during the night. Would I check on him at all or just ignore?

BathshebaDarkstone Mon 02-Nov-15 13:38:41

Never. Sorry, no help at all. blush

SushiAndTheBanshees Mon 02-Nov-15 13:41:39

By then I had done CC and DD was sleeping through fully. Agree, don't do it unless you're both committed to it.

Try to see it as good for your DC (which it is). A few nights of firm but reassuring boundary-setting is well worth improved sleep which will hopefully lead to better naps/eating and general behaviour during the day.

SushiAndTheBanshees Mon 02-Nov-15 13:43:52

I personally couldn't ignore, bit harsh and also liable to result in escalating crying leading to full-on waking up

I would get up, go in and shush or pat on back, no chatting or engaging, then walk out after 30 seconds closing door behind you. You may have to do this multiple times for the first few nights but the message will eventually get through.

BingoBonkers Mon 02-Nov-15 16:57:11

Our 3yo comes in with us every night.

53rdAndBird Mon 02-Nov-15 17:03:51

19 months old, wakes 2-6 times a night. We cosleep so it's easier - I would not be able to cope with getting up to her repeatedly every night.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia Mon 02-Nov-15 17:06:09

All the fecking time the last two weeks, but she has had a cough that she can't shake off. I have tried a star chart, she's 2 and a half so young for it, but she did seem to get the concept and didn't get up last night, don't know if that's a coincidence yet. Time will tell.

Queendedede Mon 02-Nov-15 17:07:52

The thing is, sometimes all it takes is walking in, tucking him in then walking out again and he will sleep for a few hours then be up again. Sometimes he really won't settle very easily and is upset even when I am with him.

Couldashouldawoulda Mon 02-Nov-15 17:17:31

Get in touch with Ann Caird at Naturally Nurturing sleep consultants. She's helped us loads, and her methods are very gentle but very effective. She did an amazing job with our DC1 and it'll soon be time for her to tackle DC2!

Queendedede Mon 02-Nov-15 17:53:39

What kind of stuff does she do? I'm sure I've read all possible sleep methods by now!

twirlypoo Mon 02-Nov-15 17:58:20

Ds is 3.5 and wakes every few hours still. Some evenings I can literally go up 9/10 times before I goto bed. I often end up bringing him into bed with me.

2 days ago I was fed up and told him je could have a kinder egg if he stayed in his bed all night..... Little bugger slept through from 7-7! So I do know he is capable of it now and that helps slightly I suppose!

confusedandemployed Mon 02-Nov-15 18:01:51

Never. She's 2.8 and hasn't woken since she was about 3 months. I know waking is fairly common and I guess we've been pretty lucky. I wouldn't have hesitated to do CC though, and in fact we did do it for the short period when she struggled to get off to sleep.

Lindorballs Mon 02-Nov-15 18:07:07

My DD sleeps through about 50% of the time and wakes once or twice the other 50% (easily settled). Occasionally (maybe 1-2/month) she has a bit of a meltdown either in the night or at bedtime. Since her talking really took off at about 22months I've really toughned up with her. I usually leave her for a few minutes when she starts crying and only go in if it starts to escalate. I am boring and firm with her. I say "lie down, it's sleepy time now" over and over in a boring and slightly cross voice. If she's shouting at me I tell her not to shout again in a cross voice. Absolutely no sitting with her or trying to sooth her. I've only taken this more hardline approach since she has understood this level of communication. When she was younger I'd sit with her and shush/pat. It was awful! I also think teething can really mess with sleep and that is mostly the problem in my DDs case so I'm not going to do CIO until she's got all her teeth through (only 4 left to go!)

Lindorballs Mon 02-Nov-15 18:07:25

Should have said she just turned 2

Frazzled2207 Mon 02-Nov-15 18:15:28

If he can settle himself I would try and leave him to it tbh. When we trained we went in every 5m, then 10m etc but found that going in upset him even more so stopped going in more than the once each time.
Put a stairgate on the door (was in bed by then) and he would stand behind it and wail at bedtime and 1/2 times a night for four nightssadbut never since. We were watching on the video monitor and eventually we could see him getting back into bed and settling himself.

enderwoman Mon 02-Nov-15 18:21:50

I wouldn't contemplate sleep training until Fireworks Night is over.

JuniorMint Mon 02-Nov-15 18:31:30

confusedandemoloyed your dd hasn't woken up since she was 3 months? She's been asleep for over two years? You might want to give her a little poke... grin Sorry just a silly little semantics joke to cheer myself up as 18mo dd has never slept through, wakes twice on a good night and 6-8+ times on a bad night... shattered.

Queendedede Mon 02-Nov-15 18:45:21

He is very attached to me so think it's an attachment issue/separation anxiety peaking at the minute. Would it be unfair to sleep train while he is like this?
Junior, haven't you thought about sleep training? I really didn't want to find myself seriously considering it but I don't feel there is much choice.

JuniorMint Mon 02-Nov-15 19:31:40

Queen We have sort of done shush/pat and gradual retreat type methods which will work for a time and then something will interrupt like teething, illness, staying over at family's house etc and it's back to square one. I'm not really for crying methods though DH has tried to brooch the subject. The fact that even with the more gentle methods things improve for a bit then something derails it makes me think that we'd need to keep leaving to cry over and over after unsettled periods. We go through phases of bringing her in bed with us/one of us too- which I wouldn't mind at all if she would sleep soundly but she squirms and nips! She is also very attached to me, as you say. It does get me down but I think it's something I'm just going to have to ride out and tell myself it's not forever. I wouldn't even mind if she woke multiple times and would just resettle with a quick shhh and pat but it's when it takes 30 mins plus each time... matchsticks in my eyes the next day! At just 18 months I don't feel she would quite yet have the understanding of the likes of gro-clock or "you stay in bed all night and get a chocolate bar" or sticker charts and so on, but perhaps something for the future.

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