6 month old intense co-sleeper won't sleep told in in bed or let me pee!!! HELP!!!!

[cosmicdancer89]

My beautiful DS is a textbook high needs baby that has never taken well to doing things without me. He was a good sleeper til he hit the 4 month mark (we co slept from day one, not out of choice really just was the only thing that worked). But I'm afraid he's only getting more and more attached to me and the sleep habits just seem to regress week by week...

He likes to bf + rock to sleep at night (no form of sleep training worked on him -- strict bedtime routine, shush pat, leaving to grumble, letting cry for 10 mins, drowsy but awake is not a state he ever exists in) sometimes by DP is able to rock him albeit with protest. As soon as he's asleep and put down however he NEEDS to know I'm holding / cuddling him otherwise he jolts RIGHT awake. The worst part is that even if he is deeply asleep and I creep away, he almost immediately wakes up. I have no idea how he senses it.

This means that he will refuse to sleep at 7pm, 8pm, etc for longer than 5 mins unless I'm in bed with him with a boob ready for resettling. This is just unrealistic for me - I am a night owl, I have a shit tonne of stuff that needs doing every evening (when he's awake he requires my undivided attention also so I never manage to get anything done) and most importantly I need to spend time with DP because he's been feeling isolated from my intense "bond" with DS and admittedly I just miss spending time with my partner. I'm not asking for much, I'm not expecting my baby to sleep in his cot or through the night or whatever. I just want to not have to be bed bound from 8pm onwards. It's madness! DS now has a sleep schedule of 11pm - 11am because I tend to go to bed at 11ish. That's not normal for a baby is it?? And whenever I get up for water or to pee at like 4am DS wakes straight up!!!! I'm scared there's no end in sight to this behaviour.. Has anyone had experience with this?? I'm afraid I'm developing PND because I've lost all sense of self with my intensely high needs baby.

[cosmicdancer89]

• won't sleep til I'm in bed
  obviously wrote this post , as he's latched onto me, with one hand on my iPhone - hence all the stupid auto correct mistakes.

[cosmicdancer89]

• won't sleep til I'm in bed
  obviously wrote this post , as he's latched onto me, with one hand on my iPhone - hence all the stupid auto correct mistakes.

[nameschangerer]

My 16 month old is exactly the same. But she's growing out of it.

Persevere with sleep training if you are determined it will work eventually. But I do think 8 months is the most effective time for training. I don't think bed times actual matter until they start school or nursery or whatever.

We're literally just starting to get a 7-7routine now. And there's about an hour between wake ups where I can get stuff done before she wakes for me.

[nameschangerer]

P.s I have been very relAxed about sleep training and chilling which is why things gone on so long. Do not think yours will be the same

[Zombiemama]

Oh I could have wrote this post!

How the hell do you wean a baby/child of their mummy! Dd will somenights let me put her down on the cot and she may sleep for 10 mins she may sleep for 3 hours which I know I'm very lucky with but once she wakens that is it she's to get into our bed and holds onto me so I can't escape. She literally clamps both hands round my arm!! If she lets go when she's sound as soon as she starts to become restless you can see her hand start to search for me and it has to be skin holding my top won't do it has to be skin to skin touch!

Dd is almost 1 but I'm just going with it enjoying the cuddles and would happily have her up to 11 if she would sleep to 11am

[mudandmayhem01]

My ds was like this, he would put his hand out in his sleep and immediately wake up if he couldn't touch me. I carried him around in a sling as he would cry if I put him down. I loved the closeness for a while but eventually I found it exhausting, unfair on dd and my dh didn't have a chance to bond with him. I eventually broke and sleep trained him ( about 9 months) it worked in 2 nights. He has gone through periods of co sleeping since, when ill or when dh is away but for me sleep training was a lifesaver. He is a loving and independent 10 year old now but those early months were really tough.

[cosmicdancer89]

Gosh I'm glad I'm not alone. So many mums I know with babies of the same age are like "oh my little one still wakes up to feed twice a night" but they're in their own rooms, in their own cribs, for like 2 months already! I can't go to the loo without then having to resettle my LO! He used to have a sleepyhead but like I said he slept more or less ok til 4 months. I used to be able to put him down and sneak away but he's gotten more clever and much more sensitive to my presence so I can't trick him anymore..

What sleep training is most efficient (minus cio extinction )? I will try implementing something when he's around 9-10 months.. For now I guess I'm just his prisoner day and night! Poor DH

[Zombiemama]

Cosmicdancer I don't feel at 11m that I can sleep train dd I honestly wish I'd started putting her down and leaving her to fall off to sleep on her own as now she's older once I put her down she's climbing back up jumping around and when she's tired she falls over and then we have a screaming match if she bumps her head! I feel iv missed the boat with regard to this and I'm just going to have to wait it out now to she understands a bit more

[trilbydoll]

DD2 has got a bit like this. I'm trying to get formula down her before bed to fill her up a bit more.

We got DD1 going to sleep in her cot around 9m, we sat there with a hand on her chest. Definitely worth doing before they get to the leaping around the cot stage but when they're old enough that you're confident they aren't hungry / wet etc.

[cosmicdancer89]

Thank you for the tips. Zombiemama with retrospect do you think you should've trained around the 7/8 month mark?

I don't think my boy is going to take well to any form of training involving crying.. He will work himself up to a fit :( so I need ideas of how best to approach it. Hand on chest and pick up if he starts to freak and then try again?

[Zombiemama]

Absolutely cosmicdancer dd can't self settle at all and I feel that at her age now & with the walking climbing etc the only way to sleep train her is to let her cio & it's not a route I want to go down