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toddler wants to sleep on floor/won't stay in bed - help!

(4 Posts)
Poppytime Thu 15-Oct-15 09:54:22

2.2 yr old DD was such a good sleeper up until recently - and I suspect the change may be down to the fact her baby brother was born last week....she used to have some milk, brush her teeth then happily toddle off to bed with me and DH saying night night and closing the door, and she would go to sleep! Now we do the same routine but before we have even closed the door she is getting inconsolable wanting to come out and into our room (baby is sleeping in there) or go downstairs. The only way we can get her to go to bed is for DH to sleep on the floor, and she wants to sleep on the floor with him! So she hasn't slept in her bed for days now...if DH does sneak out she wakes up in the night calling for us and getting very upset. I don't want her to come into our bed as I am up every couple of hours with the baby and it will be really disruptive for her and us, and I also don't want to create a habit of it. DH is out tonight and I am going to have to do bedtime alone with the baby and I am dreading it sadI can't spend the night on the floor with her as the baby needs looking after and is inevitable grizzly and cluster feeding at her bedtime - has anyone experienced the same and can offer some tips or even just reassurance this will all settle down? Is it perhaps some insecurity due to baby being here? I feel bad enough I can't spend more time with her at the moment as the baby is constantly feeding etc. She is still going to nursery every day to maintain her routine, so I only get the mornings and evenings with her anyway sad. I am just exhausted with her wakings and the baby, I really want at least her sleep to settle down, I'm also worried she is getting disrupted sleep and will be tired during the day, as she is getting increasingly grumpy and hard to manage by the evenings. Sorry this is such a ramble! I'm not really thinking straight, need more coffee! Any advice welcome!!!

mintbiscuit Thu 15-Oct-15 15:37:13

Ds2 was definitely unsettled at bedtime when dd was born. He was 20 months at the time. Dh gave him a lot of attention so he didn't feel left out. Sounds pretty normal from your post. Think it took around 6 weeks or so for it to disappear. We tried to keep everything consistent i.e. same bedtime, same routine, same place to sleep. Offered extra soothing at bedtime though. Dh works away frequently so appreciate having to deal with toddler and newborn at bedtime. There were a few times where I had to leave ds to cry for 10 mins or so whilst I dealt with dd. He sleeps in a cot so I knew he was safe but Dd had to take priority at that moment in time.

Interestingly I have noticed with friends who have similar age gap that those where the dd is the older one, there seems to be more challenges than when its the ds who is older. Is it a girl thing I wonder?

mudandmayhem01 Thu 15-Oct-15 15:46:18

Does your dh have to go out? You only had a baby a week ago, I don't think I faced bed time with a toddler and a baby alone for several weeks,even months. I know single parents have too but if it can be avoided do so.

Poppytime Thu 15-Oct-15 16:00:49

Thanks for the replies! To be fair to DH he did offer to try and rearrange or pop home and then go out again but it's a work offsite event and I know how important it is for him...and to be honest I have to do it alone at some point, DH often works late and there are already lots of work things he has in diary in run up to Xmas..but yes it's a little sooner than I expected to have to deal with them both alone! And I would feel much more confident if DD was going to bed as normal...minty maybe it is a girl thing? My DD is quite sensitive I think and going through quite a 'testing' phase of 'I do it' etc which doesn't help! 6 weeks eh...will have to ride it out then! I have to remember everything is just a phase (usually)... I'm actually ok with the lack of sleep with DS as I was expecting it iykwim, I wasn't expecting the added complication of DD being unsettled - naive I guess?! So any tips on keeping DD in bed? Do I just say goodnight as usual and close door and keep going back in the settle her or leave her for a bit? Am going to try the suggestion of just leaving DS in his crib, try and feed him before and hopefully he won't be too grumpy...she gets distracted when he cries and wants to go and see him...

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