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Why did I not qualify for sleeping babies?!

(14 Posts)
No1warnedme Thu 13-Aug-15 15:23:15

After dd who was the worst sleeper for the first year, I was reliably informed wink that my next dc would be a good sleeper. Ha!

He was amazing for the first few weeks (preemie, so basically ate and slept until due date), and I was lulled into a false sense of security and admit to feeling just a little bit smug. blush Now, however, he just cannot fall asleep by himself unless in the sling or pram or car. He's 5.5 months now (although only 4 months corrected).

My feelings of inadequacy and frustration are helpfully buoyed up by my DM who delights in telling me that my sister and I basically lived in our beds for the first year (apparently asleep hmm ) and that she doesn't agree with all this 'sleeping in the sling nonsense'.

So, any help out there? How can I help my baby boy feel content enough to fall asleep by himself again?

RocketGirl519 Thu 13-Aug-15 15:29:54

Hi,
My boy was very bad sleeper and the only way I could get him over to sleep was pushing him in a pram. That was a very bad habit and I have beat that for a year now. He sleeps all through the night 8pm to 8am roughly plus nap in afternoon.
My secret?
Controlled crying
How to do it;
Put your baby awake to bed making sure he is fully fed and clean nappy and leave room.
If he cries go back in 5minutes check he is ok. Leave.
Then 10 minutes. Repeat checking.
15 minutes. Repeat checking.
Keep adding 5minutes between visits and do not feed him as that will encourage him to wake nor cuddle him. He will eventually learn how to sleep on their own which is very important.
Keep going with it! The results are very good and you will find your baby will sleep on its own bed no hassle.
A good bedtime routine also helps e.g. bath, supper, read a book then bed.

Hope this helps,
Lauren

redcaryellowcar Thu 13-Aug-15 15:39:15

You are not alone. I have two dc, neither slept well for first 14/16m, I was also told my second would be a good sleeper (he was worse as had reflux!) your dm is being very unhelpful, although if she's telling the truth, she won't have any concept of how tired you must feel!

JoandMax Thu 13-Aug-15 15:44:12

Ha ha never happened to me!!

DS1 slept through aged 2, DS2 still frequently sleeps in our bed at age 5.5........

The only thing that's helped for us is co-sleeping

Artistic Thu 13-Aug-15 16:21:51

I qualified the first time & forgot to put in my special request second time around. Kicking myself daily now.

wotamidoing Mon 17-Aug-15 19:11:15

In the same boat. Exasperated as ds1 is now a good sleeper but having to do whatever it takes to stop ds2 screaming the house down in order to let ds1 sleep - so bf back to sleep sometimes 5 times a night. He was also a preemie, and also suckered me into thinking it was all great until a couple of weeks post due date. So feeling your pain... Currently embarking on night weaning - night 2 tonight but not sure it's going to sort the waking issue... I just want to run away and hide till it's all over!!!grin

RightHandRed Mon 17-Aug-15 19:17:22

Oh me too! DD1 was a terrible sleeper. When I was pregnant with #2 everyone sagely told me that I was 'due' a good sleeper and that DD2 was bound to be loads better.

hmm Sadly didn't work out that way. Somebody forgot to inform my baby.

Google the 'No Cry Sleep Solution'. Saved my sanity.

I missed the special sleep deal too.

Four year old DS still doesn't consistently sleep through the night. 11 month old DS likes to wake me up for a chat and a play at midnight. And 3am. And 5am...

I won't be doing controlled crying though.

ladydepp Mon 17-Aug-15 19:28:02

Sadly there is only a 1 in 4.3 million chance that you will be allocated a good sleeper.

99.9 percent of people who claim their under 2s sleep well all the time are either lying or in some sort of sleep deprived denial.

My dc's all sleep well now my youngest is 7 years old.

Hope that helps! gringrin

(Blackout blinds, afternoon fresh air and exercise, carbs at teatime, comfy bed that's not too hard or cold, mum or Dad sleeping on mattress beside cot, waiting for child to finish teething - these are a few things that helped us)

caravanista13 Mon 17-Aug-15 19:29:47

Well said Truth! Children need to know that if they are unhappy they will be comforted - whether it's the middle of the day or the middle of the night. CC is selfish and abusive.

BumWad Mon 17-Aug-15 19:40:18

First time parent here with a 12 week old (4.5 weeks corrected) but isn't 5.5 months a bit early to expect good sleep habits? Or am I in denial as well?

I'm bf on demand and I don't have any kind of routine and I really can't foresee what in the near future confused.

For the record DS likes to sleep on our chests in the day and won't be put down. Likes his snuzpod at night though.

Piazzapiola Mon 17-Aug-15 19:48:23

DS1 woke every 1.5/2hrs every night until I nightweaned at 14mo.

Bfed to sleep every bedtime and nap. Only reliably napped in buggy. Was still driving him for his naps at 2.4yo when DS2 was born and I just stopped napping him.
Until very recently we were still lying on his floor to get him to sleep. He still wakes sometimes at night and we give him milk.
With DS2 I vowed it would be different as I wasn't making the same mistakes again.

He has never. Napped. In. His. Cot.
On naps in sling or on us.
Bfed to sleep at bedtime.
Wakes twice or more in the evening.
Co sleeps once we come to bed.
He's 9mo and he's driving me potty.

BUT.....started gradual retreat tonight and he's just put himself to sleep!!!!! I lay on our bed with him and after an hour of faffing he just rolled onto his side and fell asleep.

Advantage of a second bad sleeper is you know you can survive smile

ffffffedup Tue 18-Aug-15 23:00:49

I've 3 dc all have been good sleepers the only thing I can say I can put it down to is to start bedtime routine from day 1. They've all slept through (from9/10 pm til 6.30/7am) from around 3 months. It could be the routine or I could just be really lucky. Me and dh love our sleep so maybe it's a genetic inherited thing.

Fuckitfay Tue 18-Aug-15 23:04:45

I had three non sleepers. Third is nearly two and finally sleeps through. They all slept through by 18 months ish so I just ignored the sleeping through by 6 weeks people and counted verrrry slowly down to 18 months

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