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Four-month sleep regression: I'm so insanely tired - how do I get through this without losing the plot?

(2 Posts)
sacmagique Thu 13-Aug-15 06:52:52

DD is five months old (23 weeks). I'm EBF and bed-sharing, which have been great - making for easy nights until recently. She's gaining weight well, and such a content little thing. She seemed to twig night and day pretty early on and up until about four months, was waking for a feed at around 2am and 5am, which I could handle. So far so good.

For the past month or so, she's been waking lots throughout the night; stirring, fussing, turning to me for a feed. Because I've been feeding more, I've been drinking more, so getting up myself to wee more - which makes me feel more awake. And I'm spending so much of my time in bed being woken up that, infuriatingly, I'm now having a spell of insomnia and can't nod off easily even when DD is asleep. It's becoming usual for her to wake around 5am, feed and go back to sleep, while I lay there exhausted but unable to nod off. sad

I can't lie in as DP heads off to work. I can't go to bed early as I have an older DC from a previous relationship, who's always been a night owl and who likes me to snuggle with him when he goes to sleep - always past 10pm. (He is with me every night.) Plus DD cluster-feeds all evening anyway. And I can't nap in the day because while DD will nap in the sling or on my lap for up to a few hours, if I feed her to sleep in bed in the day (so I can nod off too), she wakes after just a few minutes or throws up (bizarre!). So I feel as though I have no opportunity to catch up on sleep, despite becoming more tired by the day; every option for catching up is compromised.

In September, my eldest will start at a new school much further away and I'll need to get up around 6.30am to help him get organised and to his transport. I'm dreading the exhaustion, if DD's (and my) sleep is still like this.

The health visitor says DD is hungry and to start feeding her solids in the day and gradually stop feeding her at night. Erm, is that just let her cry then? hmm I think the HV is talking bollocks TBH; my understanding is that the four-month sleep regression isn't hunger-related. (And DD's weight gain is great - she's becoming interested in food but there are no signs she's hungry.)

The baby-kind advice I've read just says to hang in there and that baby will gradually settle, and to catch up on sleep when/where you can. This is what I'm struggling with: how on earth do I get enough sleep with minimal catch-up opportunities, insomnia, and an even earlier start in a few weeks? If I knew I could grab a nap every afternoon, I'd be fine; it's the not knowing when I'll feel rested again that's making me feel desperate.

Any ideas? How did others cope going through this phase? Is there something I can do (to help DD sleep more soundly/address my insomnia), or do we just sweat it out? I don't want to end up depressed but am beginning to feel pretty miserable.

Thisisimpossible Fri 14-Aug-15 10:30:09

Have a big hug. You're doing great and it will change. My DS is 8.5 months old now and the 4/5 month sleep regression is still fresh in my memory. It nearly finished me off completely. I didn't get any time during the day to catch up either. The only glimmer of hope I can give you is that it is finite and my DS suddenly started sleeping again just as quickly as he stopped. It lasted about 6 or 7 weeks I think at just before 6 months. It is super tough but it doesn't last forever. xxx

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