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5 month old won't nap. Feeling hopeless.

(13 Posts)
snackered Mon 10-Aug-15 19:58:19

My 5mo won't sleep in the day. He used to sleep in the sling, til he grew out of it. Then he slept in the carrier for about a week, but seemed to start finding that distracting. Then he slept in his basket for about one week with some shush patting, but seemed to find this traumatic every time (cried for at least half an hour each nap, sometimes longer - didn't see any improvement and it felt cruel to keep going).

He hates the pram - screams every time and I don't drive so no joy there.

If I just 'go with the flow' he doesn't get any sleep.

He doesn't have a drowsy state - he goes from wide awake to screaming overtired in seconds. I 'put him down' / attempt a nap every two hours. He's well fed, we do lots of activities in between. He's ebf and I follow the EASY routine.

On the days he doesn't nap (like today) he gets about half an hour in total and then takes a long time to get to sleep at night and wakes up constantly (I feed him to sleep at night - if I feed him to sleep in the day he wakes up after 20 mins).

Night times are about 4 wake ups.

My DH isn't really around and none of my friends have babies. My family live a long way away. I'm feeling quite depressed - I know this will pass, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing an awful job, that he's not happy and on five months of no more than 4 hours sleep a night, I'm feeling pretty low.

I know there aren't any magic answers. I think. I just wondered if anyone had any words of advice secretmagictips

jenhad84 Mon 10-Aug-15 20:17:35

Aww sounds harsh! I've been there and feel your pain!

Have you had any luck getting him to sleep in a bouncy chair maybe? Just trying to think of something you can rock for the movement.

Have you had any issues with reflux? Or silent reflux? Just a thought if he has preferred to be more upright in the sling might not like laying flat?

I've followed the EASY routine and it's great but you do need the naps to be easy and not a nightmare!

Have you tried maybe going for a lie on your bed with him or the basket on the bed with you?

Xx

purplemurple1 Mon 10-Aug-15 20:24:25

I used easy with dc1 and it was easy.

Dc2 is not on board with this approach. She has to go down with a full belly.

Neither has fed to sleep though if I put them down direct after a feed the wake after 20min as its more a sleepy from feeding than real tiredness.

With dc2 we use roughly a 3hr approach with feeds about an hr before she goes to sleep. So we do feed, mini snooze, nappy and lay on the cot she then plays there for 20-30min until she drops off.
Around 5 months she started to need a quieter room with us out of her eyeline to allow herself to sleep.

Hope you find your solution.

Vatersay Mon 10-Aug-15 20:29:45

To give you a wee but if hope my twins were very like this at 5 months old. By 7 months they got themselves into a routine of afternoon sleeps (of up to 90 mins, although not always together grin). Nighttime sleep didn't really improve until a year but that 90 mins during the day made all the difference.

nearlyteatime101 Mon 10-Aug-15 20:32:14

Its so difficult looking after a baby. I would suggest dropping the EASY routine if I'm honest. I can only draw from my own experience, and i found it just doesn't work. I fed to sleep mostly in the first 6 months with 2 DC. I don't feel it has made a rod for my back, both go for a nap alone now and sleep through the night, they are 23mo and 7mo, though the younger one its still a little touch and go through the night. This was from around 6 months ish. I do sympathise, and apologise if you think this is rubbish advice, like i said i can only draw from my own experience. good luck, it will get better regardless that is for sure.

prettywhiteguitar Mon 10-Aug-15 20:33:45

Yup have a 5 month old like this at the moment, dp is pacing round with him right now as he's overtired but won't go off to sleep. Tried feeding but just going through a phase at the moment.

This is a bad time as they are still little and you are soooooo tired. I know I am ! Doesn't help you don't have much company, do you know any other mums ?

MumOfTheMoment Mon 10-Aug-15 20:34:19

If he feeds to sleep in the day (even if just for a 20min catnap) then personally I would do that so at least he is getting some sleep and bedtime is easier. He is only tiny.

Dd was just like this. I recall pushing her in the pram for ages and ages just weeping and occasionally hissing "go to fucking sleep". Luckily she slept well in the car so eventually I gave in and took her out for a drive for naps whenever I could.

flowersbrew it does get easier.

prettywhiteguitar Mon 10-Aug-15 20:49:35

Sorry I just saw that you are on your own a lot, I would see if there's a breastfeeding group you can join just so you can meet other mums. Or baby group, honestly it helps to share the pain, I was a single parent with my first and the loneliness was as hard as the sleeplessness

snackered Tue 11-Aug-15 11:00:22

Thanks so much for all the advice / nice words / much needed brew

He's always found the bouncer super stimulating unfortunately - I wish he'd sleep in that!

Lying next to him doesn't work either - he gets distracted and pulls at my face a lot - clearly wonders why I'm not playing with him...!

Maybe I'll scrap the EASY routine and just feed him to sleep... Thanks so much for the nice words. Was much needed today.

MumOfTheMoment Tue 11-Aug-15 12:50:52

flowers

I still get The Rage many years on when I see babies just nodding off on laps/in buggies/bloody anywhere. I actually find it unbelievable that it can actually happen!

Hope you find a solution.

FATEdestiny Tue 11-Aug-15 14:34:27

The EASY routine is fantastic, but only if you have a method of getting baby to sleep.

If you don't - then feeding to sleep will at least get baby some sleep in the daytime.

Up to 6 months I used to foot bounce on the bouncy chair (minus play arch) with dummy for daytime naps. Feed upon waking. 2-2.5h EASY routine through the daytime. DD is now 10 months and will sleep anywhere <not smug, honest>

MumOfTheMoment Tue 11-Aug-15 15:32:04

You can still have that little bit of routine even if you are feeding to sleep. Just ESYA rather than EASY.

snackered Tue 11-Aug-15 16:57:27

Fate I'd be bloody smug if that were my baby! Sounds amazing.

And you're right - of course EASY won't work if the Sleep bit isn't working.

Mum - he uses it more for comfort - so when he wakes up he wants to feed again. Which is fine. It just makes the nighttime wakeups so much more frequent as there's no bloody routine and he's used to feeding All The Time.

But I'm whinging. And it's just hard. And I just need to keep on and know it will get better... Thanks all.

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