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New baby, I'd appreciate some advice please.

(21 Posts)
Nottalotta Mon 10-Aug-15 07:16:04

DS is 17 days old. I'm a ftm. I feel woefully ill informed about what I 'should' be doing with him. There is so much conflicting advice and different 'methods' out there.

He is ebf. At the moment, he is fed when he wants - often!! I put him down to sleep when i can - variable. He usually falls asleep on me after a feed then i put him down. He sometimes Will sleep others he won't and i pick him up and he sleeps on me.

Evenings are the same, he stays does with us til we go to bed. Then we go up,. feed, change nappy/clothes, continue feed then into Moses basket. He Will wake between 2 and bloody hundreds (well maybe 10......) of times. I tend to feed, put back in basket. At some point he Will stay with me as I feed laying down. Until morning - today was a 6am wake. I am still feeding him.

I just want to know if this sounds ok? I have had some truly awful nights and some fine. On the awful.nights I've considered a dummy.

eurochick Mon 10-Aug-15 07:18:00

Sounds normal to me. Use a dummy if you want, but lots of babies then wake up missing the dummy because it has fallen out...

nottheOP Mon 10-Aug-15 07:24:23

Sounds normal to me. Ebf is very full on in this first while. I used to get dh to take dc out for an hour in the day so I could get ready in complete peace and quiet, dc would sleep in the pram.

The dummy is worth a go, do it! They're great if they work and if they become a pain as pp described, just throw them away.

Congrats on your baby.

PickledPorcupine Mon 10-Aug-15 07:31:47

Sounds very normal. The first few weeks are a complete whirl. I noticed a huge change at about 6 weeks and she started to settle into more of a pattern. It has gone tits up a few times with growth spurts/teeth etc though! She's now nearly 5 months and still fed a lot and on demand but there's more of a routine to it. Congrats!

LosingNemo Mon 10-Aug-15 07:32:23

Completely normal! At this early stage there isn't any rhyme or reason with baby sleep. It's bloody knackering and I don't know a single person who hasn't doubted themselves. The baby books can be helpful as guides but please don't think any if them are 'right'. The reason that there is conflicting advice is because all babies are different (I've had two totally different sleepers). Over time you will work out what works best for you and your baby.
Congratulations on your new baby. flowers

LosingNemo Mon 10-Aug-15 07:34:17

And by the way, dummies are there for a reason. Neither of mine would take them, much to my disappointment, but it was a lifesaver for many of my friends babies. There is no shame at all in helping your child to sleep!

cabbageleaf Mon 10-Aug-15 07:48:15

Sounds like you're doing great! Ebf can be overwhelming in the beginning - it'll get better.
I would try a dummy, if your baby accepts it you can use it to give yourself a break every now and then!

Nottalotta Mon 10-Aug-15 08:06:09

Thanks everyone. I have just been reading the 'EASY' routine. Eat, awake, sleep, you (time). I like the idea but no idea how to NOT feed to sleep! (other than a dummy.....) DS has fed 6.15 - 7.15 on and off, been awake and active but there is no chance of sleep without feeding. Or at least i don't feel right to ignore his. feed cues so he's feeding again.

DulcetMoans Mon 10-Aug-15 08:14:02

Hey notta! We had to resort to a dummy as my 3 week old is a very sucky baby and would stay just sucking on the boob all day given a choice. It's been ok actually, he doesn't use it to go to sleep. I just swap him over when I can see he has finished feeding but is still awake and he happily sucks away. It has saved my sanity as I was always under the baby non stop.

GrizzlebertGrumbledink Mon 10-Aug-15 08:19:21

Hello, just wanted to say ylu sound exactly where I was a few weeks ago. I'm seven weeks in now and my son's found his own routine without me having to do anything. It's much, much easier - hang in there! He predictably wakes at 1am and 4:30am now just for a quick feed and goes straight back to sleep. Feed him if he wants to be fed, be his human dummy if he needs it to fall asleep and try to enjoy his special time together with lots of cuddles. We were feeding to sleep every night and I was a bit concerned but now he falls asleep without being fed to sleep about 50% of the time

jessplussomeonenew Mon 10-Aug-15 08:28:56

I think easy sounds good on paper but is a complete nightmare in practice - babies are wired to feed to sleep and going against that grain really makes life harder at a very difficult stage!

Purpleboa Mon 10-Aug-15 14:53:26

It sounds like you're doing just great. Nobody knows what they're meant to be doing with the sleep thing - tbf, I suspect that even if you'd read all the recommended books on the subject it would still come as a huge challenge!

My DD is 7 weeks tomorrow and things are better than those early days (when she would only sleep on me or my DH!). Not going to say they're great because I'm ebf and my baby loves her night feeds! I feel it is too early to impose a routine and it seems most are I'm agreement. We start winding down with a bath at 6pm; and after feeds hopefully she will sleep, wake again then feed and sleep from about 830/9pm till 1amish . She'll then feed and fall asleep. If we're lucky she'll sleep till 5am although she sometimes wakes at 3! She's very alert at 5 but usually I can get her back to sleep till 7.

It's not ideal and I'm longing for the day she drops a night feed for good! But at least I'm getting an idea of what to expect which helps me to sleep - before, it was all so unpredictable.

In these early days you just gotta do what's right for baby - she's in the driving seat I'm afraid! Just go with it and make sure you're looking after yourself and asking for help when you need it. It will be over soon and then we'll miss this time! (probably...)

nottheOP Mon 10-Aug-15 17:33:59

I did easy and got dc to sleep using shush pat

notascooby007 Mon 10-Aug-15 17:54:18

There's no real right or wrong way every baby is different so try whatever you can to make life easier for yourself and don't be afraid to ask for /accept offers of help. Dummies aren't the devil they can be a lifesaver I'd rather be woken for a few seconds to put a dummy back in rather than be awake to start feeding again co sleeping might also be another option for you too if your ebf.

Baffledmumtoday Mon 10-Aug-15 17:58:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baffledmumtoday Mon 10-Aug-15 18:01:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notascooby007 Mon 10-Aug-15 18:02:40

I might be being a bit thick here but what's LLL?

avocadotoast Mon 10-Aug-15 18:03:43

I read about EASY as well... I haven't tried it but we seem to be naturally settling into more of a routine now (DD is 11 weeks). I'd say we're more AESY though as she does tend to feed to sleep.

Baffledmumtoday Mon 10-Aug-15 18:04:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baffledmumtoday Mon 10-Aug-15 18:07:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avocadotoast Mon 10-Aug-15 18:47:02

One thing someone said to me as well, which I quite liked, is that they have a "rhythm" rather than a "routine".

So rather than thinking, say, "it's 10am so baby should be napping", it's more of a "I know we just did x, so y will probably follow".

It's not something that you'd follow while they're still so little, but I think it's helpful to keep in mind as things naturally settle into a pattern smile

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