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Dummy Weaning - Controlled Crying vs. Elizabeth Pantley and extending naps

(15 Posts)
MilkyChops Mon 03-Aug-15 13:43:57

After the 4 month sleep regression period I was at the end of my tether and needed more than two hours sleep and a 5am start to the day whilst also rocking baby to sleep and being unable to put baby down without waking. Most of which is all my own fault and he was never taught to self settle.

We used Tracy Hogg sshh/pat theory and are now able to put down Mr.Milkychops in his cot/pram/settee for naps and for bed and not even need any ssh/patting or stroking. He just looks around for 5 and drifts off. He has gone from feeding every 2-3 hours to not wanting milk between 10 and 5. It only took two days and he got the message loud and clear that he doesn't get rocked anymore.

However, THE DUMMY IS THE BANE OF MY LIFE. Last night I had to replace the dummy ten times, I tried just patting him back off but he was having none of it, as soon as he had his dummy back. BAM! Off he went. He is too little to be able to put it back in himself when he loses it.

My partner works 12 hour nights and it's getting to me now doing all the night stuff alone then having to look after him all day alone too. Mamma needs some sleep so she can enjoy the baby's company in the day.

I've started with Elizabeth Pantley's method, whipping out the dummy when he is drowsy and he goes off but then as soon as he stirs after 30 minutes he starts looking for it again and won't go back off without it. Has this method worked for anyone? Or do we just go cold turkey and have a few days of hell and hope that the neighbours don't call social services..

Any thoughts?

hawaiibaby Mon 03-Aug-15 14:39:05

that method didn't work for me (but I didn't persist). I ended up just leaving the dummy as when I tried to wean him off it he got really upset, then at about 8/9 months he started going through the night and not looking for it when he stirred, then he ditched it himself at 15 months during a sickness bug and never looked back. I hated the dummy for a while but that phase did pass and he either stopped needing it during the night / longer naps or was finding it himself. I don't think I'd do CC for dummy wean... it seems to me a bit much when he won't understand why. Not sure if that's what you're suggesting in the post - just from your title but if you do go cold turkey - good luck good luck!

gemsie23 Mon 03-Aug-15 15:37:52

Hi, my dd turns 6months this week and we ditched the dummy 2weeks ago now after I was fed up of her needing it to settle back to sleep. We used pick up put down method and thought a few nights of hell and it would be over. We didn't even have that! The first night I tried she was asleep in 15mins after only 6 times of pupd and then the worst it was was that morning and 45mins but luckily ok since.
The only problem I have now which is quite rare but I cld do with any suggestions is she can't work out how to get to sleep if we are out and not moving!
Good luck!

purplemunkey Mon 03-Aug-15 15:45:30

How old is DS now? I only ask as if you didn't want to get rid of the dummy (just the dummy runs) a Sleepytot might help.

At 8m I tried to go cold turkey but DD just screamed and screamed and I was too much of a wuss to see it through. I bought a Sleepytot (soft toy with velco dummy holders and each limb) in the hope that she'd learn to find it herself in the night after reading recommendations on here and elsewhere... and she did! It took a week or so for her to figure it out but the dummy runs gradually decreased and now it's rare that I have to get up at all (9m).

purplemunkey Mon 03-Aug-15 15:51:36

Oh, and to add - I did also start restricting dummy to cot only and initially the buggy as well, but only if she really looked like she wanted to go to sleep. She started falling asleep in the buggy and car seat without it (just looked around and she was gone, miracle!) so I no longer need it when we're out and about and she's also got a lot better at self settling at bedtime. I can give her sleepytot and leave her to it, she goes on her own within 10mins.

Just another perspective if you are too much of a wimp for cold turkey like me, there are ways to reduce the use slowly.

gemsie23 Mon 03-Aug-15 16:07:16

Purplemunkey- is that sleeping in the car seat and buggy when moving? We are fine with that, it's just if stopped in a cafe or baby grp or something but she is only 6months or not even that yet!

purplemunkey Mon 03-Aug-15 16:15:49

Car seat we're always moving I suppose, buggy we can be stationary in a cafe too. I think sleepytots are for 6m plus.

MilkyChops Mon 03-Aug-15 17:53:44

Thanks everyone.
He is five months this week. He is very fussy with his dummies too, he'll only suck the Mam orthodontic ones so I'm not sure the teddy type dummy would work also he is still swaddled as he just hits himself in the face and stops himself from falling asleep so he hasn't got access to his hands to pick it up anyway.

It's a pain because he would fall asleep on a washing line, providing he was swaddled and dummied. His dummy falling out is the only thing stopping him sleep through and after getting up numerous times a night I know it has got to go.

I think I know the answer to my own question but I'm a wimp blush

MilkyChops Mon 03-Aug-15 18:22:17

I'm going cold turkey. I've sent Daddy in tonight blush. He's doing a grand job. Bit of crying followed by those pityfull little sniffy whinges and he's now drifting off.

purplemunkey Mon 03-Aug-15 19:01:59

Oh well done. You're far braver than me! Good luck, hope you get some good sleep tonight smile

MilkyChops Mon 03-Aug-15 19:50:38

He's asleep smile

Took an hour in the end but most of it was just him talking to himself/mobile and looking around for the dummy. Daddy ssh/patted him off and all was good.

No hysterical crying. Yet. Let's just see what happens at the 45 minute transition.

MilkyChops Tue 04-Aug-15 09:00:29

The hysterics came at 3am but we managed to get him back off however his nap this morning was horrific. I thought he was going to explode. I couldn't leave him like that. Not sure what to do now..

purplemunkey Tue 04-Aug-15 10:15:29

Sounds like he got a few good blocks of sleep in though so I'd probably stick with it now if I were you. My SIL went cold turkey with the dummy and she said the naps were the hardest, much harder than nights, but only for 3-4 days and then it was fine.

Did you manage do get him to nap in the end? flowers

MilkyChops Tue 04-Aug-15 14:39:04

He wailed for an hour despite all the singing, sssgging and rocking in the world.

I gave in.

Going to perservere with Elizabeth Pantley instead. Even if it takes a month. I feel like I've lost his trust and now he has regressed and unable to fall asleep even with his dummy now sad

purplemunkey Tue 04-Aug-15 19:04:43

Oh dear. You haven't lost his trust, don't worry. You tried cold turkey and it didn't work for either of you, don't beat yourself up about it flowers

Good luck with the other method, I hope it goes well for you both.

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